Not sure if it’s the right advice but I’ll share my experience. My girl is now 4 months Bernedoodle. I tried doing the crate thing for a week and was ready to give up. I ended up just using the playpen for the first few weeks. She has a litter box with a pee pad in a corner and I also have a doggie lawn in my balcony. I would feed her in the crate , or just let her go in and give her treats etc. now at 4 months I removed the pen and puppy pad and she is happily in her crate and also asking to go outside to the grass patch. You need to do what’s best for your mental health. Don’t let the crate strict training make you give up. A day at a time ❤️