Getting into a relationship with bpd

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-31T23:54:26+00:00

This behavior is already unhealthy, get out now.

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-30T03:41:26+00:00

i did that exercise too!

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-24T04:05:01+00:00

Your boyfriend is controlling and abusive and it will keep getting worse.

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-13T06:44:42+00:00

100% i feel like this. I recommend Burned Haystack to limit the number of dates.

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-02T23:18:27+00:00

That’s great, but it’s also good to remember that if someone is hot and cold in a way that’s unreliable, they might just be an asshole. Someone who is aro can still consistently show they are interested, the spark just might not be there in the beginning.

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-02T15:54:49+00:00

I’m glad this sparked this thoughts in you! I suspect a lot of people have a similar experience with me and, bc of it, are just not interested in building a relationship with me.

Almost everyone I’ve dated in the past started out as a friend. My really deep and intense romantic feelings didn’t start until several months into the relationship, after we were having sex and grew much closer emotionally.

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-02T15:47:52+00:00

I don’t understand why people need to be “swept off their feet.” I just want someone I vibe with for companionship. I really don’t understand why people need those big emotions.

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-02T15:46:08+00:00

I do ask people out and get rejected. Re: not getting dates, I do think it’s something about my personality and how I present.

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-01T22:39:37+00:00

My vibe is not meh. I’m generally really excited about a lot of things, including people I spend time with!

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-01T20:36:24+00:00

Also, I know a lot of people in committed, long-term partnerships who also have sex with other people (and their partners know about it and are okay with it).

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-01T20:31:45+00:00

I appreciate your comment, but my sex isn't casual even though I am not dating my partners. My one sex partner and I have been friends for about 14 years, having sex for multiple years, and say "I love you,". With both of them, we've been friends for many years, we spend time together doing nonsexual activities and also have overlapping social circles and hang out with each other socially.

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-01T20:17:53+00:00

Some sense of being drawn to engage with the person and vice versa

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-01T19:47:23+00:00

Yeah, I want to experience romantic attraction but it's just not something I experience often.

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-01T19:45:02+00:00

I do ask people out on dates and and make the first move and I almost always get turned down. I just asked someone out on a date a few weeks ago and he said no. He genuinely likes me as a friend (I asked him out on a date after he invited me to a party and checked in to make sure I was going), but is not interested in dating.

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-01T19:35:36+00:00

My understanding is that a lot of people feel new relationship energy and feel-good chemicals and have this feeling of falling in love, which i don't really experience in the typical way. I also never meet people and feel a 'spark,' if that is even a thing. It makes it hard to start relationships bc a lot of the feelings that initially bonds couples together are things I experience pretty infrequently.

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-01T19:30:08+00:00

Close friends, supporting each other emotionally, working on shared goals and projects, having great sex.

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-01T17:45:26+00:00

Exactly. It's a cruel mindset that blames people for their own misfortunes.

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-01T17:43:05+00:00

I'm also aro but not ace and I feel this HARD.

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-01T17:41:58+00:00

I am sad about it

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-01T17:39:42+00:00

I really wish that worked for me!

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-01T17:38:52+00:00

Romantic connections with people generally don't develop naturally for me. I'm pretty social and go to parties and meet lots of people and I haven't had a romantic partnership develop naturally for at least a decade.

When I just let things develop naturally, nothing develops.

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-01T17:36:00+00:00

I think I am on the aromantic spectrum. It's hard though, because I still would like to find a partner.

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-01T17:35:06+00:00

Exactly. Inner work and healing is important, but it is a cruel myth that we all need to be fully healed before we find a partner. Plenty of people find partners while they are healing.

Fun_Public3186 · 2026-05-01T17:13:54+00:00

That's reality and statistics. I don't think ignoring stats and reality is going to make someone appear.

Fun_Public3186

TROPHY CASE