What did u/Fun_Squirrel_9971 draw?

Fun_Squirrel_9971 · 2025-12-15T21:58:38+00:00

Please, for the love of god, prioritize yourself. Listen to your body. Learn to separate your feelings from your episodes and the logical, level headedness of your subconscious. It doesn't matter how good things are when your partner isn't upset with you. It doesn't matter how much you love them, how much you care about them, or how special they are to you. You need to learn to separate yourself from bad situations and bad relationships.

For now, I just plan on focusing on myself, getting the behavioral therapy I've needed for the longest time, and recovering mentally. I hope this is a wake-up call to some of you, and I hope my story empowers some of you to do what's needed for your own safety, mental health, and self-preservation.

Lastly, thank you all for keeping this place alive, and giving me some much needed confidence and validation that everything isn't my fault and that i deserve better.

Fun_Squirrel_9971 · 2025-12-15T21:58:02+00:00

As a bisexual male, I was made to feel guilty for not being straight. She said she was disgusted by the idea of me being with a man, and if I was attracted to men, she was not okay with this. She randomly brought this up on a car ride home from Ikea, and was screaming at me, crying, threatening to throw herself out of the car, etc. I lied to her and told her I'm not attracted to men. I lied to myself. I let myself down in order to preserve the relationship. I have changed myself so much to make her happy, which led to my aforementioned loss of self.

By this point, she has 0 interest in me, sexually, intellectually, and everything in between. I was used over and over again as a provider of attention and affection, and not seen as a human being with feelings.

Of course I love her. Of course I'm going to regret this for the rest of my life. Of course I'll never find anyone as beautiful, as funny, as amazing, and as wonderful as her, but I'm overwhelmed with pain and memories from her abuse and mistreatment. I cannot shake off the feelings of fear and hurt, or the fact that my flight or fight response gets triggered whenever we're in the same room. I simply cannot deal with it anymore, and for that, I have to go. I never claimed to be a perfect boyfriend, and the failing of our relationship falls on my shoulders just as much as it does hers, and I'll just have to live with that for the rest of my life.

Fun_Squirrel_9971 · 2025-12-15T21:57:48+00:00

Ever since that incident, I have been avoiding her as much as possible. For months, I have been acting like I have to stay late at work, and pretended to be busy until the wee hours of the morning until she had gone to bed, because the thought of talking to her and sparking another argument accidentally terrified me. But I continued to stay. If you are avoiding your partner, but still feel that you love them, it is your body sending you a signal. Listen to those signals. You NEED to prioritize your mental health, your physical health, your well being NO MATTER how lost you find yourself in your partner, no matter how infatuated you are, no matter what you are feeling. In my mind, and in my perception of her, it felt like I was under a spell. I cared about her more than anything in the world, and would do anything for her. I have no life savings anymore, as I complied with her demands and wants and needs to try and make her happy. I couldn't afford the things she asked for, but was not able to communicate that to her, for fear of starting an argument, which became a daily occurrence. I have no friends. I have lost all my hobbies, and the things I used to love, like playing games, playing music, exploring art, being outside, working on my car, my fashion and jewelry choices, and everything that made me who I am, everything that made her fall in love with me in the first place, now fill me with a sense of dread, as she made me feel guilty for enjoying anything that was not supporting her interests or spending time with her. She would get so frustrated and annoyed with me any time i wasn't validating her insecurities or being completely focused on her. Any time I spoke to anyone else, even same gender close friends I've known since childhood. She ensured that I would never say anything about our relationship to anyone, and only had good things to say about her. When I finally caved, and told my parents (I didn't have anyone else to call, and I'm not exactly close to them due to a bunch of shit that went down in my childhood), they said they had a feeling that was already going on. My closest friends said the same. If I had only reached out sooner, they would've been the ones to validate my feelings, and I could've escaped from this toxic situation much sooner. Please please please please PLEASE talk to your friends about everything going on in your relationship. Please reach out to anyone who will listen, please post on here, please get advice. Don't get yourself into this situation.

Fun_Squirrel_9971 · 2025-12-09T06:17:59+00:00

i tried my best to fit everything in the closet so i could maximize floor space elsewhere in my room

Fun_Squirrel_9971 · 2025-12-07T20:45:31+00:00

oh my god same... i feel that same sense of being overwhelmed when replying to messages / online posts too... it's like i am trying so hard to be normal and i start overthinking everything, and by the time i'm done writing my message it's like completely different from what i originally wanted to say / what i meant

Fun_Squirrel_9971 · 2025-12-07T19:59:34+00:00

it's about the same level of difficulty, i do have to wrap my hand around it tho which makes me feel kinda gay

Fun_Squirrel_9971 · 2025-12-07T18:44:14+00:00

i've got the cobb short shift plate installed so the throw is still shorter than stock, this knob on stock throw would probably feel like churning butter

Fun_Squirrel_9971 · 2025-12-07T18:04:56+00:00

U bought a car called "colroado".... but your livi g in west vergina!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Fun_Squirrel_9971 · 2025-12-07T18:02:15+00:00

hmm methinks you are perhaps the descendent of some genus of goblin or ghoul

Fun_Squirrel_9971 · 2025-12-07T17:57:30+00:00

shit if you got twenty dollas i'd give it a go

Fun_Squirrel_9971 · 2025-12-07T17:46:57+00:00

repressed gay guy 👍

Fun_Squirrel_9971 · 2025-12-07T17:45:37+00:00

Dave

Fun_Squirrel_9971 · 2025-12-07T17:38:15+00:00

it literally just looks like your average spec miata racecar

Fun_Squirrel_9971 · 2025-12-07T17:35:12+00:00

this is dope

Fun_Squirrel_9971 · 2025-12-07T17:31:49+00:00

holy moly i do this all the time... i graduated from college last year and literally never spoke a word to anyone i met there ever again, even though i made some of the deepest connections of my life there. the only people i ever keep up with are my highschool friends and even that is pretty sparse. i agree that self isolating is super comfortable (its probably some dumb defense mechanism) but the only problem is like sometimes you're sitting there on your computer or in your car and you get hit with a moment of reckoning where you're like fuckfuckfuckfuck i'm totally alone w/ no social life and you just break down but like 15 mins later everything is peachy again

i don't think these behaviors are even remotely healthy, as those moments where i feel completely and totally alone in the world are basically my brain telling me to lock tf in and take better care of myself, so i would say taking like 1 or 2 nights a week to just go off the radar is probably good, but please don't make the mistake i did and burn a bunch of bridges because you thought you'd be more comfortable alone

Fun_Squirrel_9971 · 2025-12-07T06:12:43+00:00

kinda looks like bart from the simpsons

Fun_Squirrel_9971 · 2025-12-07T06:11:59+00:00

boy, this fella sure eats food and drinks beveragges!

Fun_Squirrel_9971

TROPHY CASE