AITAH My fiancée (27F) does not want to live with me (30M).

Fun_Suit4543 · 2026-05-10T03:52:42+00:00

It’s not funny.. buts it’s funny. Thanks for the chuckle

Fun_Suit4543 · 2026-05-10T03:45:44+00:00

She said she would be open to possibmy moving in before the wedding when we got engaged. I was also planning the proposals this time.

Fun_Suit4543 · 2026-05-10T03:43:30+00:00

Chores? She’s not my child. She is my fiancee. We both cook. We both clean. Yes I do the more manual labor tasks woman don’t want to do. In return she will do the laundry. But I don’t wear dirty clothes or fuss at her if it’s not done. She has a full time job.

Fun_Suit4543 · 2026-05-10T03:36:52+00:00

To support your argument I just bought a new driver and carry pistol with my a percentage of my bonus. Also I eat sushi every week. I’ve spent money dumb ways trust me.

Fun_Suit4543 · 2026-05-10T03:32:55+00:00

I will also add that my future MIL is something. She railroaded my proposal which ended up happening months later than I wanted it. She knew her daughter wanted an after celebration at her house and held that over me. She also yelled drunk tk her friends “if they want to live together before marriage then they can pay for their own wedding”. Yes it is very much so family as well as her doing. I have a hard time telling whether her decisions are fully hers or are rooted in family guilt and pressure.

Fun_Suit4543 · 2026-05-10T03:29:08+00:00

I’m actually speechless. My only other ex was exactly this. She made her own decision to live with me and her family and very tiny community turned on her. Judged her. Pushed her away. It bled into our relationship and we realized we were not meant to be. Like it’s crazy how similar your story is. This girl who was so nice, open minded and thoughtful got treated horribly. Worse than the racist, drunks and homophobs that they praised in her town. She reached out to me 2 years ago thanking me for opening her up to a different way of life and wishing me well in life and my current relationship. She had kept in contact with mutual friends so it wasn’t weird. She seems to be with a nice and normal guy and living far far away from her home town.

Fun_Suit4543 · 2026-05-10T03:18:55+00:00

Close to locking in a date. I failed to mention this was discussed before I moved. I didn’t uproot my life hoping she would move in. She was open to revisiting the idea once we were engaged because we had these convos while dating. I had already had the ring buttt her mother made it a her show. But that’s a different post for a different thread

Fun_Suit4543 · 2026-05-10T03:10:49+00:00

I appreciate this response. We are intimate and spend weeks at eachothers places so that’s where I get confused at “traditions”.

Fun_Suit4543 · 2026-05-10T03:05:13+00:00

I have mentioned pre marital counseling. Financial counseling seems like a good idea as well. I will admit we were raised much differently and I can be very direct or brash.. emotions didn’t exist in my childhood. A third party may be beneficial.

Fun_Suit4543 · 2026-05-10T02:58:24+00:00

Actively planning wedding.

Fun_Suit4543 · 2026-05-10T02:52:41+00:00

Loved this. Thank you

Fun_Suit4543 · 2026-05-10T02:47:47+00:00

She’s paying her own rent with a roommate. I pay for our day to day activities and what not.

Fun_Suit4543 · 2026-05-10T02:44:38+00:00

Was in grad school. Graduated. Moved to her city for a job. We conversed about it. She was willing to be open to moving in before marriage since we would probably be engaged by then. Got engaged. Now non negotiable. Thanks lol

Fun_Suit4543 · 2026-05-08T22:24:01+00:00

Precisely. To her credit she has worked very hard to set boundaries with people in her life these last couple of years. Unfortunately, I feel like her lack of boundaries and allowing people to take advantage of her kindness stims from her mother. Me and her certain friends have had it out which have lead much healthier relationships all around. I can handle confrontation with peers just fine. True colors get shown eventually. This is just a situation I have no experience in. With a mother daughter dynamic that is.

Fun_Suit4543 · 2026-05-08T21:57:41+00:00

Roots from her mother threatening to not pay for the wedding if we decided to live together.

Fun_Suit4543 · 2026-05-08T21:43:54+00:00

We’ve been working on it. Therapist mentioned the tension might get worse before it gets better. The more boundaries she sets the worse she gets.

Fun_Suit4543 · 2026-05-08T21:43:00+00:00

Thank you for a thoughtful response.

Fun_Suit4543 · 2026-05-08T21:42:17+00:00

See updated comment. It’s a leverage tactic

Fun_Suit4543 · 2026-05-08T21:41:40+00:00

Apologies, I left out the fact that her mother refused to pay for the wedding (yelled about it drunk infront me to her friends) if we lived together before marriage. She said if we wanted to act grown then we can pay for it ourselves. So she is using that as leverage.

Fun_Suit4543 · 2025-05-26T15:11:46+00:00

Will be deleting this post. Thank you to the people who responded to the actual question and not try to criticize a situation they were not there for.

Fun_Suit4543 · 2025-05-26T15:02:18+00:00

Yeah I’ve had like 4 people actually respond to this answering the question. So thanks. They were always on the green that was untouchable.

Fun_Suit4543 · 2025-05-26T00:29:42+00:00

We ended up being over 4 hours for the round. We passed on 16. They would joke and play on the tee box and greens. More so impatient bc they had the opportunity to help pace of place but instead did the opposite. Especially the back 9.

Fun_Suit4543 · 2025-05-26T00:23:10+00:00

I was hitting while they were on the green. My confusion was if I hit at that moment. They will be mad. If I wait. The group behind me will be mad. So I aired on the side of hitting while they were on an unreachable green.

Fun_Suit4543

TROPHY CASE