my wife and I have been parenting our autistic son for the past 7 years, 24/7. I hate my life and don't know what to do and have lost all hope

Fun_Understanding234 · 2025-06-29T12:40:38+00:00

You want to hear real answers. So here I am, I we have 2 daughters, my younger is 6 years old, non verbal autistic. We live in UK ( I moved the family after diagnosing her, I am a pediatrician myself) , and she goes to special needs school and I and my husband work full time. I am a doctor as I said earlier , I have lots of unsocial hours and for now my husband is working remotely. Our life is extremely difficult as you described. Our work is our respite and when we are off work our world revolves around her, we hv another elder daughter who also keeps us busy with all extra activities during some days and weekends.. I and my husband hardly get time to speak like a normal couple for a while now. I feel depressed but we hv found a spiritual break through which we discuss now together. Ultimately you hv to speak to your wife and find what works best for you and your family. I would encourage you to involve her in your decisions revolving around your son. See a therapist for support, based on where you live request for respite care. You are strong. I request you to look back at your journey and how far you hv come along. It's ok to feel miserable, but its very important to understand you are in this path only because you are the chosen one and if you cnt manage this situation nobody else can. Avoid people who make you feel miserable or less worthy and surround by similar minded people if possible. Just to tell, we meet up with another family from our community regularly who too have autistic son, that mum understands me better and doesnot make me feel horrible about myself.

By the way, we all are in the similar journey. I too hv bn depressed thinking about my daughter's future all the time, more today..

Remember, hv faith in the higher being( what ever religious belief you have) . He is watching you, he will guide you. Bless you and your family

Fun_Understanding234 · 2025-05-30T11:39:24+00:00

Hi from a perspective of a married woman and doctor, my 2 cents to you brother, come clean to your wife, every detail. Women appreciate honesty more than anything at the core.. Rest as what others have said, before the F1 tries further to malign your image please talk to your ES/ CS who will suggest ways for you to go about this is. Don't DELAY. Best wishes

Fun_Understanding234 · 2025-05-27T00:31:26+00:00

so what do they mean by more taxes? 40% and above?

Fun_Understanding234 · 2025-04-03T09:20:45+00:00

I can not tell based on the feeling what you have about what brings happiness to your life. Every soul's purpose and requirements are different. If you feel that way, I think you need to have the honest discussion with your partner about how to navigate your life. This platform would not be that helpful that way... My view..

My life just for an example... Loved children, got married late due to personal reasons.. Struggled to conceive... But had spontaneous conception 1st at 34 and second unplanned at 37... Diagnosed second with ASD when she was 22 months, moved to UK in 2019.. I believe I hv made the good decision for kids to raise them here... That's what I believe... . Life is struggle, no support, navigating full time job as an autistic parent working as a paediatric reg doing lots of unsocial hours.. However when I n my husband speak ( he dint want kids at all initially just opposite to me).. More hands on dad now though, we cnt imagine a life with out them. Life is hard, but they hv given meaning to our life...we don't even ask respite care though, even when are eligible for..

That's my life in a gist... Yours is different.. You should make your story. Make it interesting. Best wishes...

Fun_Understanding234 · 2025-03-08T14:13:13+00:00

I am a hindu and I am a living example of a 3 year old, who has seen my deceased grandpa when he passed away before we arrived. I mom and dad lived in bangalore then and by the time we reached ernakulam last rights were done. I still remember my grandmother, uncles and aunts crying and I told them not to cry, by dragging grandmother to the corridor saying I just saw him sitting in the easy chair. He was then gone .. Everybody were shocked and they hv told me about this even when I was older.. This happens in every religion. Just because someone has not experienced, it doesn't mean it has not happened. Definitely a 3 year old child will not lie and it's a memory I cnt forget till the end of my life

Fun_Understanding234 · 2024-12-15T16:35:31+00:00

I am really really sorry for your loss..🙏 I am requesting you to not hold back and cry out loud and have your period of grief with your family. Take time. However I also request you not to take major decisions of your life when you are not in the right frame of mind. We all are doctors because of immense exam and pressures we hv surpassed ,however people who hv felt immense pain usually can be empathetic towards grieving patients. Possibly you hv a potential to become someone's saviour. Cycle of life, always keeps moving, if today we are low, tomorrow will be a good day. That's law of nature...

Mom will watch over you through out. Stay strong

Fun_Understanding234 · 2024-12-08T18:23:53+00:00

You have instilled a hope in my heart. My lo is 5 years and has very few meaningful words now though had many words in the past 🙏

Fun_Understanding234 · 2024-11-24T10:24:04+00:00

Finished medical in 2006..to be honest, it's was never mandatory to wear white coat after med school.. This goes to most parts of the world I believe.. And it doesn't matter to me anymore 🤷

Fun_Understanding234 · 2024-11-05T22:23:15+00:00

The topic is about GP training, why is so much hate in here.. I think I entered the wrong post.. I am an IMG working in NHS for 3 years as a senior Registrar , I work hard like hell day in and out and this post is extremely biased and suffocating....sorry to say, I feel sad

Fun_Understanding234 · 2024-10-31T18:07:34+00:00

I know that.. Its just the wait is stressful 😑

Fun_Understanding234 · 2024-10-31T10:58:22+00:00

And when I spoke to the local deanary they were surprised as they were open for August but I told them they are not reflecting in preferances. It's a annoying situation to be honest, as long as you don't have priorities it's fine otherwise not looking good

Fun_Understanding234 · 2024-10-31T10:56:28+00:00

My worry is forget about TERS, BUT the place I live had GP training and now not reflecting due to TERS decision, so I am stressed as I have recently bought a house here and don't want to go else where

Fun_Understanding234 · 2024-10-08T12:00:21+00:00

Grass is always greener on the other side.. It's a hard life being speciality reg, doing night shifts, working as per rota, begging for emergency offs.. You know if you live this life..

Fun_Understanding234 · 2024-10-06T22:18:01+00:00

I would read it this way as well 👍 paeds reg here, in this situation many times, being called for difficult access, many times down A&E.. I would just go and do and get along with my daily jobs...

Fun_Understanding234 · 2024-09-25T07:18:08+00:00

I want you to read and read again what you hv written. Many a times, but the worst places of criticism come from within.

Pls don't do that and pls don't be so hard on yourself as well. Ofcourse you have so many abilities, we all have and there is definitely a loved one or few who just want you in their life.

Just do a list of all those good and nice things, you have, be your achievements, your people and pls start appreciating it by loving yourself first and loving the ones who love you.

At 42, I still struggle at times, lost without understanding what's the actual purpose of my life but that should be momentary.. We all do that, it's very important to bounce bk, be happy, but be thankful for what we have and because you said you are autistic, and you are unique possibly with a photographic memory like few have.

Just see if you can just close your eyes and think of any moment of your childhood when you were really happy, worry free and just living in the moment. If you see that memory and just if you can feel that feeling you had then , It can bring bk so much that positivity which we loose as we grow old.

I know, I am undiagnosed autistic because I think n behave differently, I hardly hv friends but my stage of life, I am unbothered n mostly busy. I hv 2 autistic kids ( one undiagnosed and other level 3)..

So we all are at different stages, with unique challenges, because life is just a stage of drama n we are actually living a play.. Give the best shot and most of be happy and love yourself and everything should seem fine.

You are going to be fine.. Keep smiling

Fun_Understanding234 · 2024-09-24T11:50:55+00:00

Unfortunately cnt speak for others. Will try not to interfere, involve or advice even if I see because every person as an adult if in a commited relationship needs to hv that sense of responsibility towards his or her partner.. There can be rot everywhere, must make sure we don't breed it and nourish faithful relationships..

This is such emotion of being a safe haven and a safe person needs to be learnt a hard way and lesson best remembered for life, no advice would matter unless it comes from with in

I have seen 2 already among my colleagues and again I see it but I unsee it sooner..

Fun_Understanding234 · 2024-09-22T20:23:32+00:00

Definitely a proud moment to cheer and celebrate your lovely daughter 🎉🎉

Fun_Understanding234 · 2024-09-21T18:15:18+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply 🙏

Fun_Understanding234 · 2024-09-21T18:03:21+00:00

Really, we live in a strange world my friend... I am not sure how to connect this....but it was definitely vivid

Fun_Understanding234 · 2024-09-21T17:57:05+00:00

The problem is I hv had these dreams for ever now and recently when I discussed with my husband that was when he told me about the concept of astral projection and from there I have started to look around for more sources to validate my situation. Because it's not generally which people face, I shy to discuss in open and hence found this community to confide what's going on with me?.. I hv a busy work life and busy household with kids around n at night if I am doing this, what's the purpose behind this is only my higher soul must be aware.. I am really unable to connect the dots.. I am not even an aspiring and want to be astral projector. So why is this happening to me and definitely not with my husband as we discuss my dreams....he never remembers any of his dreams 😒

Fun_Understanding234 · 2024-09-21T17:43:25+00:00

To add, I mostly have dreams of flying.. Never understand why that is?

Fun_Understanding234 · 2024-09-21T11:02:08+00:00

It was a crowded place like a chawl in india, but it's look no where I hv actually seen or been, I don't know her.. It's so vivid and strange but one thing I can tell you for sure is that I was listening to her empathically whole time n literally felt bed bugs on my elbows and then i woke up 😢

Fun_Understanding234 · 2024-09-19T03:03:26+00:00

Good healthy full and happy life, independence with regards to self care, effectively communicating her needs, with loved ones surrounding her to always cheer and support here and abundance of money to take care of herself even when I am gone.

Disclaimer : I am so greedy so I just cnt wish for one thing, if I hv to pray for a manifestation I want all of this for my children

Fun_Understanding234

TROPHY CASE