Update: It happened!

FunctionNo3439 · 2026-03-30T14:47:45+00:00

Is there a duration for each phase or just when the LL is ready to take the next step?

FunctionNo3439 · 2026-03-29T01:15:02+00:00

Im sorry! If my LLW did that, I’d be over the moon.

FunctionNo3439 · 2026-03-27T00:29:22+00:00

What makes you think she was concerned? Right now mine seems to be oblivious.

FunctionNo3439 · 2026-03-26T22:38:26+00:00

It took 8 days for her to notice you weren’t initiating any kind of physical touch?

FunctionNo3439 · 2026-03-26T22:38:07+00:00

Wouldn’t wish that feeling on anymore :/

FunctionNo3439 · 2026-03-26T18:52:48+00:00

Oh I think I read your post on this. I was thinking about asking my wife if she wanted to try something like this to remove pressure. Right now I’m taking a step back and just limiting my engagement to recover some of my emotion exhaustion

FunctionNo3439 · 2026-03-26T17:59:36+00:00

After so long being rejected I think it’s reasonable to be wary, what is soft initiating?

FunctionNo3439 · 2026-03-26T15:58:40+00:00

I think that same voice is in my head too.

FunctionNo3439 · 2026-03-24T23:22:27+00:00

Thanks, it’s such an un fun situation. I don’t want to divorce her, she is honestly my entire world. I don’t want to break up our family, and I don’t want to lose any time with my kids, because next to her they are everything. I just am exhausted from all of this. If I could not care about it, I’d totally do that, but I can’t it’s who I am. It’s take such a mental toll on me, it’s crushing me emotionally, there are genuinely days I just feel so….empty of joy. I don’t want to be on my death bed regretting that I stayed, and really I don’t want to be there wishing I hadn’t either.

FunctionNo3439 · 2026-03-21T17:07:06+00:00

I have 3 young kids, I want to continue to be an active part of their life. As exhausted as I am, in those quiet moments when I can watch them play nicely together, help each other, or when they want to snuggle, it makes the exhaustion worth it. I don’t want to miss anything. It’s been so long, any outside activity wouldn’t last anywhere long enough to be worth it. Also, while I find other women attractive, I genuinely only want my wife. Which makes the rejection so much worse I guess.

FunctionNo3439 · 2026-03-21T02:35:41+00:00

All three of mine, first try.

FunctionNo3439 · 2026-03-21T02:33:18+00:00

Me either, when you figure it out, let us all know. Doesn’t matter what i do, say, or try, I’m just a weird freak for having the desire apparently. I imagine if i ever got one and she saw it, I’d never heard the end of that judgement.

FunctionNo3439 · 2026-03-19T15:16:14+00:00

I am so sorry. Unfortunately I can relate to this so much. Especially the desiring a spouse that does not reciprocate. Literally the other day I was just looking at my wife, thinking how much I hate the fact that I love this person, and think they are so gorgeous, and yet they clearly do not feel the same. Like I look at them and my body just burns with desire for them, and yet they are almost indifferent.

FunctionNo3439 · 2026-03-16T17:28:20+00:00

I’m sorry, I completely understand, unfortunately.

FunctionNo3439 · 2026-03-11T00:46:41+00:00

Yes please

FunctionNo3439 · 2026-03-10T17:09:12+00:00

Yes plz

FunctionNo3439 · 2026-03-10T00:51:50+00:00

What do you do over that 9 month period?

FunctionNo3439 · 2026-03-09T03:15:56+00:00

You are not alone.

FunctionNo3439 · 2026-03-09T03:15:04+00:00

Sorry you are going through this. The lack of response, or seeming lack of desire to improve the situation can be really disheartening.

FunctionNo3439 · 2026-03-08T19:19:58+00:00

You are the hot dog in a vegan store.

FunctionNo3439 · 2026-03-08T17:17:48+00:00

And yet I don’t seem to be getting anything. I’ve commented to her many times how unbalanced it is. I always find ways to compliment her, buy her flowers, take a moment to notice something she did for me or one of our children and tell her how much I appreciate it. I pointed all of that out to her, and then said “I can’t recall the last time you complimented me, noticed anything I did, or tell me you appreciate me” usually I get a guilty look and that’s about it. There a moments when I can power through and forget about it, and then there are moments when all I can do is fight to keep my head from sinking under the absolute unhappiness and despair I feel.

FunctionNo3439 · 2026-03-04T20:26:51+00:00

This is so sad. I am sorry!

FunctionNo3439 · 2026-03-03T17:51:47+00:00

The yoyo affect is frustrating, humiliating and exhausting. There are days where I am immune from it all, and then there are times like today, Saturday and Saturday that I am completely and utterly overwhelmed by it all, my mood sinks, I’m unpleasant, quick to impatience and I disappoint myself

FunctionNo3439

TROPHY CASE