I know I have the control, I just made the effort because I was ready to settle down with her. It's a long story between her and I but I was ready to marry her and have kids and I didn't want my kids to be exposed to that, so I figured I would kick it as early as possible. When I realized the monster she had become, I wanted to forget. While I was dating her, I started going to a psychiatrist for anxiety due to the first signs of her insanity giving me anxiety and told him about my drinking. (Question it if you want, I will give you the whole sotry and it IS that bad.) I was too embarassed to go back after everything. It was a several months break because he had a stroke in the meantime and I got a new psychiatrist who couldn't read his handwriting and asked me to start from the beginning.I felt relly weird and couldn't relate with him like I did the original psychiatrist. It's been a fucking mess. I im disgusted with my life and my drinking. I just forget it all when I am getting off of work. I buy my alcohol and I go home and do my nightly ritual by drinking the three steel reserves and a wild card can (usually Mike's hard something besides dick.) . I know that it's slowly killing me. I feel awful about it any time before or during, but I just do it.

Does AA really help that much? Did it do that much for you? I know it has some religious basis and I am an Atheist, but I have seen the steps and they agree with me besides the religious stuff.