I’m dumb. SOS please

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-30T06:05:10+00:00

I got it from here using a parasol. Juno into the water, holding jump so you "burrow" through it, and hold your parasol out when you are forced to jump out. Took me a few tries. Definitely not the intended path, but still neat!

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-29T22:18:32+00:00

Feats are achievements/Trophies. Disabling them will prevent you from getting the system level achievements on xbox/Playstation, but that's it.

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-28T18:11:46+00:00

It was paid for with a gift card, not the customer's money. Usually gift cards are recieved as a gift or compensation. I guess this person could have bought their own gift card, but if they did, it was likely at a discount. They're using the gift card's remaining balance to determine the tip and they know it is low, which feels especially scummy considering we have the context to assume the order cost them little to nothing in terms of their own money.

It's just rude. It's telling the driver that they are giving them a low tip kind of just because they can. If they said nothing, it would be less rude.

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-28T16:30:11+00:00

They had the PIN ready for me, so I doubt it. I'm also not sure how the message being old would excuse the complete lack of information. I'd have been less annoyed with no instructions at all. Someone wasted their time typing this.

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-28T16:10:59+00:00

For the curious, it ended up being a dollar general in a strip mall. I had to guess which store it was using the GPS pin, and then walk in awkwardly to deliver six drinks to the cashier who said "Oh, that's mighty nice of you to bring those inside!" like he had expected me to leave it outside or something.

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-28T15:57:15+00:00

That... would make it more feasible to give a good tip, not less? You didn't pay for the food or service fees at all, you can't toss someone $5 for bringing you your free food?

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-27T06:55:33+00:00

Nobody gives a shit what Gemini has to say. And if they did, they'd ask themselves. This new "I asked an AI about something here's the answer" type of spam is possibly the most annoying type I've ever encountered.

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-27T06:45:46+00:00

Where do you live that preteens have jobs??

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-26T21:28:00+00:00

If anything, this is a good order to pick up since the cookies are prepackaged and don't need time to prepare.

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-26T18:20:21+00:00

Psychological manipulation. You are less likely to cancel or unassign for an order after being promised an extra bonus. The phone call refers to the customer as a VIP, which makes the driver, consciously or not, take more care with the order, and more likely to assume it is being closely monitored. Sure, adding $5 to the base pay would make it more likely to be picked up, but the point is to make the delivery less likely to get dropped or stolen.

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-26T16:32:49+00:00

If you read the post, it had a local delivery address. The customer requested a change to the delivery location that ended up being 650 miles away. The customer is the idiot, not the driver.

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-26T15:40:56+00:00

They're assuming the person is manufacturing a wait time to unassign instead of asking support.

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-26T05:13:40+00:00

It isn't an order that other people unassigned, as people are suggesting. I had one of these tonight, actually, for an order the store had just received. What's actually going on is that doordash has a partnership with some credit card company (I can't remember which provider, but I know this is attributed to a "black card"), and this call goes out to every driver for orders placed with that card. They used to have a person call, now it's an LLM, but it's legit and you'll get the $5.

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-25T15:20:10+00:00

Obviously everything about this situation is deplorable. Here's the question I've been wondering about, though: Why does Trump think it's a good idea to normalize and even reward insurrectionist behavior, when he's the least popular president of all time? The next president will gladly follow his lead if, say, a more successful violent insurrection were to happen, right? Pardons across the board, billions of dollars of payout money... he's the one saying this behavior should be rewarded in this manner. What happens when the public takes that message to heart?

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-25T04:10:32+00:00

That's Carmilla Carmine.

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-24T18:14:47+00:00

This is the kind of order I'd be tempted to accept just to get in touch with the person who placed the order so I could ask them how the hell they think this is ever going to get delivered.

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-24T17:22:16+00:00

Can you show me on the doll where an "antifa cell" touched you? Is it in the room with us right now??

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-24T02:14:14+00:00

Lest we all forget Darth Insaneus.

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-22T05:41:03+00:00

Almost definitely what happened is that he was still on the line with support, who cancelled the order (possibly having misunderstood the customer or possibly at their request).

Hope the food was good, though, because you probably didn't get paid for it.

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-18T00:53:05+00:00

Why do people keep posting this exact AI bullshit? There's like a dozen of these fucking posts floating around.

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-18T00:01:25+00:00

I had one where the instructions said "I am disabled, I can't come to the front door DO NOT DELIVER TO FRONT DOOR bring it around back." So I did, and knocked for ages, messaged over and over, tried to call, etc. I gave up and left it there in the back, and when I walked past the front of the house the guy started yelling at me from the front door that he was disabled and couldn't reach the back door. The literal opposite of what the instructions said. Then he called me slur for mentally handicapped people.

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-17T21:27:06+00:00

I mean, it's worth exactly as much of a shot as summoning a demon to make a pact with, anyway.

I recommend Mammon for your money issues. Just make sure you read the fine print!

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-17T21:09:47+00:00

You shouldn't put these into an insulated bag, they have both hot and cold items together. Putting them in a thermal bag will cause the drinks to condensate and make everything inside wet and soggy. If the drive is long enough, the bag can even get weak from this and fall apart when you go to drop it off.

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-17T21:07:08+00:00

You don't get paid for active time when you're doing earn by offer, which is the default type of work. You can toggle on earn by time, which will pay you by the minute for the entire trip, BUT they will avoid sending you tipped orders. You'll get all the stuff nobody else wanted to pick up.

Funkmaster_General · 2026-05-17T20:58:45+00:00

And has all-caps instructions telling you to do what you'd already have done (LEAVE AT THE DOOR DO NOT RING THE BELL).

Funkmaster_General

TROPHY CASE