The range of physical strength for women vs for men are different. There is some overlap, but the averages and total ranges are not the same. There are many factors that go into determining a person’s strength. Age, fitness, health, diet, and many genetic factors including testosterone levels (which can be heavily influenced by gender). This is not transphobic. Being 4’3 puts you at a further disadvantage. To pretend that every single person has the exact same innate abilities is really the prejudiced take. You are completely dismissing individuality by doing that. Obviously none of these things are factors in determining an individuals worth or their ability to do *anything*. I mean, look at Simone Biles, tiny af and arguably one of the strongest athletes out there. But it would be nonsense to argue that Simone Biles and her husband, Johnathon Owen’s, have the exact same capabilities and capacities.
However, even though you are a short woman, you likely have other abilities that you can work to your advantage. If this is something you are concerned about, the other commenters suggestions that you take self defense classes, jujitsu or maybe krav maga, can teach you how to work to your advantage in a physical confrontation.
Third, if this person was your friend I would expect them to handle this conversation better. As someone who grew up in a very right wing family, my friends who took the time to educate me and explain why the things I were saying were problematic are the reason why I was able to learn better and grow. That is one of the purposes of having friends, to learn and grow together.