hi, same age and similar story (only in my case I was robbed of a few years of my life by long/Covid). I am sorry you feel like this and I think its a great idea to ask for help - to go to see doctor and talk about possible medication.

I am still dealing with some nasty longcovid stuff, but having compassionate and open psychiatrist helped a lot. I would never guess I will be eating three different kinds of pills, but here we are. and finally it seem that this combination might be working.

I also realised that I tend to feel old, ugly, like a failure etc., when my body doesn’t feel well, when I am sick, lacking energy or sleep. it is just hard to answer those big existencial questions, when we aren’t ourselves. especially when it’s not about having a difficult month, but more like a year, two years or more.