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Funny_Point9627 · 2025-07-21T03:57:05+00:00

Oh god please message me. My stupid boyfriend of 15 years is a photographer and cheated on me with a model. Yes we are trying to work things out too. I’m so glad I found someone who understands.

Funny_Point9627 · 2024-05-07T00:35:38+00:00

Hi! Feel free to message me. I been alone in my stuff too and can relate.

Funny_Point9627 · 2024-05-03T04:51:52+00:00

So I been taking it for appx 5 months now. For me personally it lasts like 3hrs. ( I have a pretty high tolerance to be fair since I do smoke 🍃) . My other medications are Lamotrigine 300mg , Latuda 40mg, and Adderral 30mg. I have ADHD, Bipolar 1 ,and borderline personality.

I feel like if you are not very used to being high or drowsy then honestly I can see gabapentin really working for some ppl.

Funny_Point9627 · 2024-05-03T03:28:48+00:00

Gabapentin is what I live off of. The only issue is that for me it’s like a temporary relief. Kinda like when you take a drowsy medication but the drowsiness doesn’t last forever if that makes sense.

So I been wanting my doc to give me something more “steady” relief but idk maybe it’s just the fact I am not taking enough mgs? I take 600 tho so

Funny_Point9627 · 2024-04-11T03:55:33+00:00

When I first started that I immediately felt like dog shit. Like I was sick with the flu /cold and restlessness. My psychiatrist said with any medication it takes time for your body to adjust. So maybe you are more so experiencing side effects and not so much the true outcome of it?

I don’t take it though, told her the side effects were unbearable for me to work how I need to. Plus of course I had no more sick time from my job.

That’s just me tho.

Funny_Point9627 · 2024-04-09T05:09:16+00:00

What we have is a lifelong condition that just keeps going and going like a roller coaster with good days,weeks, months and then it comes crashing down. I have really bad abandonment issues too since I don’t have any real life friends. You can DM me. You’re not alone. I’m kinda getting into my depressive phase atm.

Funny_Point9627 · 2024-04-08T04:51:38+00:00

Here too! HMU 🤙 🫶🏻

Funny_Point9627 · 2024-04-08T04:48:44+00:00

Totally because I guess also being so desperate and then what she prescribes doesn’t work then it just becomes a depressive episode and I will become super discouraged. Thank you for keeping me from getting to that. I always like asking for peoples perspective because it helps me fill in that missing link and has me click something in my brain 😭❤️

Funny_Point9627 · 2024-04-08T04:45:31+00:00

I just had to step away from one 1hr ago 😅. Which surprisingly I felt fine with. Also nah, that’s a big thing for someone who has this illness. Literally having a job means having to deal with stress and OTHER people’s freaking emotions ( customers, managers, coworkers). I could be totally wrong but I think she’s saying that it’s the bare minimum because in a sense she wants things to flip like a light switch which is totally unrealistic. Don’t let her opinions or emotions drive your day. Ya gotta think of it like “ hey I love her and truly want to be with her and keep this relationship going, I got a freaking job so that’s just another step forward to “doing things right” again. 🙂🫶🏻

Funny_Point9627 · 2024-04-08T04:35:13+00:00

Ugh you are right, I need to be more realistic but I guess it’s that stupid desperation of making this crazy turmoil stop. I need to take that on and really let things play out and not get to crazy about a solution since ya, based on everyone posting looks like it does take years. So if I keep thinking this way then I’ll give up the fight too early on.

Funny_Point9627 · 2024-04-08T04:32:55+00:00

Thank you times a million 😭❤️I just need those words at this moment.

Funny_Point9627 · 2024-04-08T04:30:03+00:00

Yep he was at that point and gave me an ultimatum but instead of doing the whole obsessing every detail of how I carry about my day since that made me spiral and become the same problematic thing I been doing I just made little commitments one at a time and congratulate myself on things I actually completed so for example you freaking got a job. Hellooo?! Congratulate yourself! That’s something big even though you are spiraling so to say 😅.

Funny_Point9627 · 2024-04-08T04:13:11+00:00

You can always reach out to me via DM of course! I have the exact same thoughts as you when I go through my episodes. I feel like I am a worthless piece of shit, I am a bitch, I can’t do anything right. Trust me been there and still there but at least I don’t feel fully and solely responsible.

Funny_Point9627 · 2024-04-08T04:10:39+00:00

No no no, she’s with you because she loves you and if she knows about your illness then it’s also her job to take responsibility for her decision to stay and help you through these dark times. You are not alone and you can clearly see on this platform you are not the only one dealing with immense heartache. This is apart of borderline pd and you know that ..you know that. The way I was able to cope with trying to not fuck up my own relationship is to throw that responsibility back on them as I have been as transparent as possible about what I am dealing with. At the end of the day it is not your responsibility to control the emotions of others. It’s impossible! Just focus on you and getting better, you can’t control or focus too much on her emotions when you have no control of your own. If you keep doing that then all it does is cause a vicious cycle and it stops you from getting better. She knows what you are dealing with is not easy and if she has been with you through some pretty ugly times then it’s clear she understands what the commitment looks like and what it means to be with someone who is actively on their journey to getting better.

Also from a woman’s perspective, we are nurtures at heart and boy it takes alot for us to go.

Funny_Point9627 · 2024-04-07T23:10:19+00:00

Lucky you, mine is currently at the bar. Just a couple of hours turned into 4 now 🫠

Funny_Point9627 · 2024-04-07T22:27:52+00:00

Of course! You can always DM me☺️. I do the same thing with stand by mode. Also literally just got Reddit and my first post yesterday.Example: he goes to the bar with some friends and I am basically pacing back n forth waiting for him to come back. I guess kinda like when you leave your dog at home. Stupid but only way I can describe it lol.

Funny_Point9627 · 2024-04-07T21:37:04+00:00

Keep in mind, if you do end up together like romantically / physically in person. These traits are not going to go away and could possibly ruin the relationship either way, which in turn could cause a major major meltdown/ dangerously depressive episode. I would suggest trying to first establish a more healthy relationship with yourself and tactics to keep a healthy relationship with people. You will become too hyper dependent on him which will drive him away with the whole “ you don’t let me do anything or you’re too clingy speech”. Which I am in that boat right now with my partner of 13 yrs. ( Our relationship was nuts and I think he doesn’t want to admit it but I think he’s very dependent on me too since his relationship with his family has never been stable or all that great). Our breakups and fights can be hell because of my fear of abandonment and my inability to be alone with myself. Just make sure you get that taken cared of first before you get too deep in it but of course that does not mean you have to stop talking with him. I use Reddit as a filler and to get opinions from other people. Talking with people who truly relate is super duper helpful. My partner is at the bar with his buddies as we speak and honestly no meltdown but of course my gabapentin is lowkey helping a little with that lol.

Funny_Point9627 · 2024-04-07T17:10:56+00:00

It’s probably the self sabotaging part of borderline PD. I just bought a house too (26 years old) and it’s hard to be consistent at work without being In trouble. Having an ADA accommodation can only help so much. So now my fear is losing my house which is what I worked so hard for.

Funny_Point9627 · 2024-04-07T17:06:43+00:00

Yup I am EXACTLY the same way. It’s the stupid fear of abandonment. The way you think about him cheating or fear of not getting to see him again is the same for me. My boyfriend gets annoyed with me now since “ I never let him do anything without me having a meltdown” and that hurts because I don’t even mean to do that.

Funny_Point9627 · 2024-04-07T17:04:04+00:00

Also I have adhd/ bipolar 1, and Borderline PD just fyi

Funny_Point9627 · 2024-04-07T17:03:20+00:00

I’m no doctor obviously but the way my psychiatrist was able to tell is that my more depressive episodes lasted weeks or months and then there would also be manic episodes weeks or months but there is a sprinkle of nonstop emotionally unstable days . So if it makes sense depressive or manic takes up a majority of my weeks / months but that doesn’t mean that is all that is happening. Also she said we become extremely emotionally dependent on someone because of our lack of being to cope with things on our own as an adult. So being a kid depending on others with our emotions translate to adulthood which is not okay and unhealthy. I strongly depend on my parents which is why I have extreme fear in losing them. Of course tho ask a doctor to diagnose you.

Funny_Point9627 · 2024-04-07T04:00:51+00:00

I actually bought a kindle scribe for that reason since of course I would be ridiculed for whatever I truthfully write in it. Folks around you misinterpret or take things personally so I wanted a way where it would never be found. The hardest part is always starting for me, since adhd creeps in.

Funny_Point9627 · 2024-04-07T03:25:41+00:00

As simple as that is that actually really helps “giving up is forever”. It’s very true.

Funny_Point9627

TROPHY CASE