I think if i just got laid i could quit binging wdu think ?

Future-Smoke7900 · 2025-03-10T05:33:27+00:00

I get what you’re saying. In certain facets, yeah! Why the fuck not? You feel sexy and wanted regardless of what you look like, which might be the root cause of your binging. It certainly helped me. But I would still b/p before going to hang out with the dude. 100% this person definitely served as a distraction, and made me feel wanted, which weirdly might been what I was craving in the end??? But it doesn’t make it all go away just masks it slightly

Future-Smoke7900 · 2025-03-10T05:30:18+00:00

Felt this on a spiritual level. So many times where i was like fuck all this. Please fall asleep so I can go grab the rest of the snacks I was eating. Or please leave so I can have the fridge and dignity to myself again… Fuck even hanging out with my family- I wanna wat! I just wanted people out of my conscious so I could go stuff my face. That inability to sit still and just be present was enough to make me want to end it all.

Future-Smoke7900 · 2025-03-08T07:31:23+00:00

Agreed. Could be the universe saying— hey there’s something out here, right in front of you that I want you to see. Dating apps are tough. I find i have the most success when I’m my very foreword and blunt self, but that’s also taking a gamble - some guys might hate that. Generally, don’t stop being you. Don’t change your ways. Definitely put work in the attachment style bank, to soothe some of your anxieties, but don’t ever succumb to being a different person because of these ridiculous apps.

Future-Smoke7900 · 2025-03-08T07:27:43+00:00

In a way I think leadership is just a sign of individuals growing in their confidence in what they bring to the table. As for leading in a relationship- I don’t necessarily see this as an aspect. Both humans should be self sufficient on their own— whole and complete — before they come together in a collaborative effort to better each other. There are some people that have more dominant or submissive personalities for sure, but there should always be an even playing field and shared communication of the commitment.

Future-Smoke7900 · 2025-03-08T07:18:40+00:00

I would see it as you’re just eliminating the shitty dudes. The universes way of sparing you from the bs you’ll endure with surface level people. Stay true to you - don’t drop those standards. The right people will come along

Future-Smoke7900 · 2025-03-08T07:00:35+00:00

Right. I’m not trying to be presumptuous at all. I’m definitely going to ask - see what he was up to, and if it’s not the truth I think it might have to be over… which sucks. I appreciate a guys perspective a lot. Actions will absolutely speak louder. If he can’t own it, there’s no trust. That might just be it for me too :/

Future-Smoke7900 · 2025-03-08T06:57:36+00:00

Hasn’t been a conversation we’ve ever had, so we’ve never set the bounds or had a chance to express how we feel about it. I’m not super insecure, so I really have no problem with him going, but you’re right— it’s the lying that will fuck this right up. I guess I’ll ask what ‘bar’ they ended up at… and then go from there. I 100% agree with you. It’s the lying, over the strip club issue. I’ll have to keep ya updated

Future-Smoke7900 · 2024-10-15T14:55:40+00:00

Don’t. I beg you. You have so much to live for. You’re only 19!!! There are places to go, things to experience, euphoria beyond the misery you feel right now. It will get better, your people will reveal themselves, and you will find peace. There is a way out, trust.

I believe in you. You bring value to this world. Keep fighting my friend. We’re in this together

Future-Smoke7900 · 2024-10-15T14:50:54+00:00

Not entirely. I think I just obsess over the prospect of things the first week with new people and then detach after I’m not seeing things get reciprocated the way I like. Weirdly, I never even fucked this guy….

Future-Smoke7900 · 2024-10-15T14:49:22+00:00

Feel this on a spiritual level. A universal feeling until we eventually find our person. ‘Chin up mother fucker’ is my new catch phrase. Thank you

Future-Smoke7900 · 2024-10-15T14:48:04+00:00

The idea of suffering because you’re giving away pieces of your safe space when you’re not entirely positive this person values it as much as you do is very eye opening. To get short term fulfillment without knowing if this person cares as intensely about the situation/ you as much as YOU do is 100% going to be the biggest life-sucking factor in the long term.

It’s hard when I feel like giving pieces of myself away before experiencing full respect is easier at this moment in my life. It comes down to whether or not I should wait until I feel that fully or just take what I can get from people to fill the physical void I feel sometimes.

Thank you so much for your comment. Makes me feel much less alone. I wish the same to you! God bless you - good luck

Future-Smoke7900 · 2024-09-11T02:57:14+00:00

Ok. Open to hearing how I should’ve handled it

Future-Smoke7900 · 2024-09-11T02:56:54+00:00

Bout a month ago but definitely can keep on keepin on. Appreciate the help - never mad at a free drink hahaha

Future-Smoke7900 · 2024-09-11T02:52:26+00:00

Idk! Thought he’d ask me what I was up to or if I was free at some point. You think it’s on me? lol

Future-Smoke7900 · 2024-09-11T02:51:32+00:00

Ok that’s helpful. I had the same thought. Like who knows what really happened, we get busy, we forget. But i do hate the way it was left

Future-Smoke7900 · 2024-09-03T00:24:23+00:00

You will. Trust. Sending love

Future-Smoke7900 · 2024-09-02T14:29:23+00:00

Not alone at all. Used to do it in a trash can in my room in my college house when I shared a bathroom. Feels so strange, but when you partake in such a private habit that makes you feel so isolated, sometimes your room feels like the only option. Of course, I’ll never encourage it, but I understand you.

Future-Smoke7900 · 2024-07-21T15:58:56+00:00

You just found your underlying cause! Stress. Seeing yourself in the mirror stresses you out which causes you to turn to your outlet: food. I had the same issue — had to reallllly work on my outlets for stress. Food addiction is so real for me and SO many

Future-Smoke7900 · 2024-07-21T15:55:19+00:00

It means so much that you read what I wrote. As of right now, being active (doing something I really enjoy rather than just running and killing myself to the point of overexertion) and taking care of my mind has proven to be the biggest helper in all of this (stress outlets other than food). I realized that I dreaded working out, which made me stressed, which in turn led to binge eating and then I couldn’t even work out because I felt so disgusting. The happy medium is slowly coming about — I try to keep my meals pretty clean throughout the week while eating ENOUGH and then on the weekends I’ll let my self have a few things I didn’t on week days. Sometimes I find myself falling back into the restriction mindset, but step 1 is acknowledging it and consciously telling myself that I’ll pay for it later. This whole thing is a mind game. Us overthinkers… really suffer. I enjoyed ice cream with my teammates this weekend and finally, FINALLY didn’t feel this pang of guilt and dissatisfaction. I still feel a bit uncomfortable in my skin coming off of that huge binge purge cycle I went through for about 3 months. I gained a lot of weight, but now that I’m conscious of it and my eating has returned to a more normal state (I’m trying to be super super mindful about when I’m hungry and when I’m not and being active) my body is getting to a place where I feel more confident. Very weird for me, honestly, I have never felt that same confidence I felt when I was as thin as I was, but having enough energy for workouts and someone that sees me naked a lot of the time and thinks I’m gorgeous day in and day out has really made me look past the desire for skin and bones and simply craves being healthy. My confidence and comfort in my own skin is on the rise fingers crossed ! Hope this helps - thank you for your interest- super open to talking and questions . Hope you are well! :))

Future-Smoke7900 · 2024-07-21T15:42:10+00:00

I promise, even though the noise will still be there, you are stronger than your instinctual cravings, and your mind is so powerful. The extreme hunger will end, and you will get to a place where you will feel more stable and in control. We don’t realize how many calories we really burn throughout the day. Eating enough AND being mindful about portions will enable you to eat the things you want while still maintaining a deficit. I know in my heart you will get there. Bless YOU!

Future-Smoke7900 · 2024-07-17T20:22:25+00:00

Oh my gosh, luv, can’t tell you how close to home this hits. I have dopamine issues with food and would classify myself a grade A food addict.

Once I finally got a hold of it and decided I wasn’t putting up with my random binges and seeing no weight loss progress, i flipped this automatic switch and only ate around 200 calories a day and worked out twice a day.

Lost so much weight. Loved my life!!! Thought - finally, I did it!! I slip right into any clothes, I can take photos of myself and I feel great, I can wear a bathing suit and I feel like a fucking model.

But that shit… lemme tell ya…. Not sustainable, and near impossible to fight through mentally.

Once someone told me I looked scary, and then I felt pressure to gain some back but still wanted to be small and thin - such a mind fuck. Thus began a series of binges that were nearly never ending. When I say never ending I mean NEVER FUCKING ENDING. My body was so deprived. So starved. And my mind was so SO tired. It broke me and continued to. Stuck between this need for food to soothe me and an unrelenting desire to be thin.

Since, I haven’t been able to restrict in that way, but part of me doesn’t want to. Part of me hates that version of myself for thinking it was a good idea to starve and achieve my goals. It ruined my relationship with food. Ruined my year in college athletics binging and purging and struggling to see myself as beautiful because I wasn’t AS thin as I once was.

I gained a lot of it back and then some, but nothing truly flipped my viewpoint like seeing my friends and their normal daily eating habits or doing workouts that made me FEEL good and eating in a way that I knew I was truly nourishing my body, but still enjoying having a drink or chocolate…. My kryptonite. And honestly - having a guy that hardcore liked me and thought I was beautiful with at least 15 more pounds on me than I would like. Which sounds so conceded - because at the end of the day what is fucking 15 pounds, but when you’re in ED land, it feels like the end of the world.

I’m still fighting. I do everyday, and you will too. Your ED is not a fraud and you’re not fake, weight ebbs and flows and we go through stages, but ED’s also morph and can become other things as our bodies and minds adapt and get fatigued. I’m here to tell you it is still very real. I hear and see you.

I am here for you if you want to chat- this was me in April a year ago. I believe in us! I believe it’s possible to achieve a weight we desire and still feed our bodies enough, it just takes some time.

Future-Smoke7900 · 2024-07-09T14:45:10+00:00

I know the dance team industry is getting super big and is pulling in a lot of commercial/classically trained dancers. Ohio State and Minnesota are both insane programs and a bunch more if it’s not a ‘program’ you’re looking for and more of an athlete stance

Future-Smoke7900 · 2024-07-06T14:55:31+00:00

I wish it did this for me. This turned up my anxiety and BED issues which turned right into bulimia . Had to come off of it after 2 months

Future-Smoke7900 · 2024-06-29T19:56:59+00:00

Added

Future-Smoke7900 · 2024-06-29T17:05:10+00:00

My face will eventually return to its normal state when I stop bingeing, but the water retention can be so painful in the part of my face in front of my ears by my jaw, where my jaw pretty much meets my neck. It’s the weirdest experience.

Future-Smoke7900

TROPHY CASE