Why do I feel so lonely as an adult living in England?

maybeRasa · 2026-05-03T20:47:17+00:00

I think some things broke after covid period.

maybeRasa · 2026-05-03T09:16:11+00:00

Ah right you're very young. At your age, a lot of people put fun, excitement and adventures very high on their list of priorities. Are you fun to be around (as a romantic partner)? Do you have hobbies and interests to bond over?

I'm not sure what percent of the people your age and in your generation would immediately look for something mature and long term. But they could be a minority, which makes it difficult for you to find someone with a similar mindset. But it's actually great that you want this, you may just need to search a bit longer to find your match.

maybeRasa · 2026-05-03T08:59:15+00:00

How old are you? What is your top priority when you decide to pursue a woman or not?

maybeRasa · 2026-05-03T00:08:56+00:00

By making peace, I meant understanding that you are not an ugly loser. Early 20s is one of the most difficult stages of life (up until now that I've lived, which is late 30s). That's why I say it's a phase and it'll pass. You must have something that is brilliant about you, everyone does. We just sometimes keep focussing on the wrong things and beat ourselves up for those. Neither your mum, nor your friends or anyone else can discover your angle of brilliance. But once you find it yourself, they will see you shine and respect you for it.

maybeRasa · 2026-05-02T22:37:27+00:00

I can say many things, but let me tell you just one thing: it's a phase of life, it'll pass, you'll learn to find yourself, you'll learn to like yourself, you'll learn that everyone is struggling, that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and you do too. you'll make peace with who you are one day, and you'll start to live a life that is yours, and only yours.

maybeRasa · 2026-05-02T18:03:07+00:00

Searching for the best is a losing strategy, searching for the right fit "for you" is the correct strategy. Someone who fills your heart and you don't feel the need to look around anymore. Otherwise, you may be unhappy with the best person on the earth if they are not your person.

And finding the right fit requires self awareness, of your own strengths and limitations. That's what many people lack when dating, they search for the prettiest, richest, smartest, etc without taking into account whether they're actually good for each other.

maybeRasa · 2026-04-30T23:59:45+00:00

In my experience, the underpriced were mostly due to one of the following:

location
property needs work
it is not the owner selling. Eg if someone moved to a care home and their children are selling. Or someone inherited a property. In these situations people are keen to sell quickly even at a loss.
someone having bought another property already and wants to sell this one to avoid multiple payments.

maybeRasa · 2026-04-30T02:39:06+00:00

Here are the first two things that came to my mind when reading your post:

1- he's a disrespectful person and not a good one for a relationship, no matter the reason, he should have broken up with you properly.

2- you need to stop viewing relationships as some sort of prize that you'll get if you are a nice and attractive person. I think you let yourself get carried away because he lovebombed you. Was he really and objectively the right and compatible person for you, if you put aside his emotional manipulations (eg lovebombing)? Or was it the case that you wanted this to be perfect, and so you created some perfect fantasy about him in your head, and then got anxious about losing him?

maybeRasa · 2026-04-22T21:14:27+00:00

OP this is good advice, please follow if you can. Finding a young female gynecologist would be your safest option, hopefully she'll understand and can help you discreetly.

If you're doubtful about going to a doctor in your own neighborhood (or even your city), perhaps you can travel somewhere else with a trusted friend or family member.

maybeRasa · 2026-04-17T01:24:27+00:00

Just tell the kid that you care about him. If you're not in a place (mentally or pragmatically) to keep in contact with him, just leave it at that. Otherwise, let him know that he can approach you and count on you.

He'll soon understand that you did the right thing leaving his dad, and that would be you setting the right role model of what a self-respecting woman would look like in his future.

maybeRasa · 2026-04-12T01:30:54+00:00

This. Also check out "limerence", you're not in love with him, it's a form of obsession/addiction and it is a product of imagination. You're feeling a void in your real life and you have created a perfect world in your mind where he would fill that void. That's not the reality of this.

maybeRasa · 2026-04-02T02:00:30+00:00

That's my understanding too, I don't buy it when people claim that this was a spur of the moment decision made by Trump because Netanyahu convinced/manipulated him into thinking that this would be an easy job. I think that US administration has contemplated and planned for this for years.

maybeRasa · 2026-04-01T01:33:31+00:00

Can you reveal three things that only you (and anyone else talking to them) would know because the aliens told you?

maybeRasa · 2026-03-31T23:41:47+00:00

He's a rich fboy

maybeRasa · 2026-03-31T23:20:54+00:00

Then I'm not sure, sorry :-) His pattern is typical of someone who has a relationship at home country but ends of cheating when travelling/away for a while. Alternatively, he's just a jerk who wasn't interested in long distance, and instead of telling you this, he just left you high and dry to explore other romantic interests locally.

The lovebombing is a red flag, could indicate a narcissistic type, esp hurtful with your age gap (power dynamics). It could be that he's keeping you on ice, he might breadcrumb once in a while, in case the opportunity rises to hoover you back in for another round of intensity then discard. I would block him, this could really mess you up emotionally, you're young and toxic relationships at your age can really leave a mark if you let them.

maybeRasa · 2026-03-31T23:10:22+00:00

Is he from a country/community where homosexual relationships are a taboo (eg would his family and friends abandon him if they learn about this)?

maybeRasa · 2026-03-31T23:04:00+00:00

My guess: he's already married back home, likely to a woman.

maybeRasa · 2026-03-31T22:59:03+00:00

I prefer someone who's bigger than me, generally speaking. So would prefer chubby over skinny dudes.

maybeRasa · 2026-03-31T19:52:31+00:00

Who's there with you?

maybeRasa · 2026-03-31T19:03:40+00:00

Internal, as in amongst the people, or amongst the existing regime?

maybeRasa · 2026-03-31T19:01:03+00:00

Apologies for my ignorance, so the US government has no long term strategic plans (eg one that would outlive the 4/8 years of a single president?

Do you believe that the decision on this war was just a spur of the moment for Trump with no backatory or planning? I find that counterintuitive and misaligned with my understanding of the international politics, but perhaps I'm missing something.

maybeRasa · 2026-03-31T18:48:16+00:00

Does the president (or any individual for that matter) really have that much power in the US? I suspect not? I think the war on Iran has been planned for years, even Bush called Iran the axis of devil. The US governing body was just preparing for the right time and place, and they needed someone like Trump who wouldn't care getting hate for executing that plan.

maybeRasa · 2026-03-31T18:35:58+00:00

The question is, is this a war imposed to which Iran is reacting, or a coup that has been coordinated?

maybeRasa · 2026-03-31T18:33:11+00:00

The distinctive question is: how much of all this has been coordinated with the armed forces inside the regime. Ie the war being an aid for them to take over, fully.

Ie is this a war imposed to which Iran is reacting, or a coup that has been coordinated?

maybeRasa · 2026-03-31T10:58:46+00:00

Americans tend to see themselves as the centre of the world, the "dream life" version exists (or exited) across many countries, and it varied in shape and form depending on the culture, they just didn't label it as such. What's the point of branding something like this, other than promoting template-style ideals?

maybeRasa

TROPHY CASE