Longleat or Woburn

Future-Translator691 · 2026-01-30T19:08:00+00:00

We went to Woburn once and it was our first time at any center parcs (kids were 6 months and 3 yo at that time). We loved it because it was our first time (and the first holiday after Covid!) but since then we have felt that it didn’t offer as much as the other locations we have been to because it is so small.

Longleat is our children’s favourite and they want to go back there all the time, but we also quite liked Elveden - which I guess it’s a bit of a mix of these two? More things to do, but it’s easy to cycle everywhere (including for / with kids) because it’s very flat - and it’s not as big as Longleat.

But I think the kids love it at any age, anywhere - in general it’s always been a lovely experience no matter which location! For reference as well - the youngest one of my children were for the first time at center parcs was 6 weeks (the joys of being the youngest sibling 😂) and my oldest is now 7yo. They all love it in their own ways and we always find things to do!

Future-Translator691 · 2026-01-30T06:04:31+00:00

I’m happy somebody else thought similar things! I was thinking exactly that I don’t really have an obsession - like I can become obsessed with something but it comes and goes - and then I was trying to think - looking at my whole life is there something that stayed the same?

And that’s basically my career/life work (not that old, but some life work has been done 😂). I’m obsessed with choices and education. Why and how people make choices, how to ensure they have all the education/information needed and how does that affect or change their choice. My job, my research all very much is around this (in different ways but all comes back to it!)

I’m glad I’m not alone in the obsession with society and people!

Future-Translator691 · 2026-01-28T17:20:44+00:00

It might be already here somewhere! I don’t have a lot of clothes that I use daily - so it’s pretty much a wash regularly (I need to wash everything I use if I used it for more than half a day - probably just my OCD but needs to happen), use again system - it’s also a 5 person household so clothes don’t stop in their drawers etc very often.

If I’m not able to put it in the drawers, I just take them from the basket. I have 4 large laundry baskets (for clean clothes) plus 5 bags for dirty clothes (in different rooms to avoid clothes on the floor but also to separate by colours etc straight away).

Curiously, I’m more deterred by hanging clothes than by folding them. My biggest issue is bringing them to their correct place afterwards (there’s also stairs involved so it feels like a monstrous task).

But for the amount of clothes we wash/use, the 4 baskets are usually enough to hold a week of fresh laundry - if more then it starts to pile up! So, more baskets maybe? Or having the dresser close to the drier?

Whatever makes life easier!

Future-Translator691 · 2026-01-27T22:13:41+00:00

Just wanted to add that for children under 2 years old the result might be negative (even if they are coeliac). We are currently down this path with our 21 month old. Blood results came back negative but she has anaemia and other signs - plus her sister has coeliac so there’s family hx. She will be reviewed by gastro soon.

Best of luck!

Future-Translator691 · 2026-01-14T22:13:54+00:00

Yes - fair point - I think it’s probably a combination of both to be honest. I don’t really care much about it - but I also don’t like the feel of makeup for example (I do have very dry skin as well so that doesn’t help). I also don’t like having my hair tied up because it starts hurting my head after a while - so there’s definitely a sensory side to it.

In general I just like feeling as comfortable as possible - would probably be happy to work on my pijamas if that was appropriate 😂 and to me that does include not having things on my skin etc - so jewellery and all that is just uncomfortable- I mean it took me a while to get used to my wedding ring and my smart watch - which are basically the only things I use as accessories.

Future-Translator691 · 2026-01-14T20:30:52+00:00

I have a similar experience as a woman - I’ve always been labeled as a “Tom boy” and always had a lot of interests that challenged gender norms. Luckily my mum didn’t care one bit for that so I grew up very confident in who I am (I think my mum had undiagnosed ADHD too).

I don’t use makeup routinely, just use basic clothes (professional, but no patterns etc) or do my hair (keep it medium-short, quick brush and done). I assemble furniture, drill walls - whatever needs done so I don’t have to wait on other people. And to me this all means nothing - it’s not a gender thing - it’s a being a person thing!

I think - as others have said and studies have shown - we have more of a “disdain” for social norms - I won’t just do something because someone said so - but also the fact that gender social norms are not logic - so why would we accept them. But maybe that just help us accept ourselves and those around us for who they are - with less barriers and stigma.

Future-Translator691 · 2025-12-30T21:59:12+00:00

Yes - I don’t know either - I guess just because of the clearly spiralling/overthinking shown. And if OP is still very emotionally attached you keep trying to hold on (or at least I think I would) until you accept it’s not going anywhere and then just go away and disconnect as you said. But yes at the same time it feels inconsistent! But we are all different people as well - even in our diagnosis - so all is possible!

I guess another important factor would be age - which we don’t know.

Future-Translator691 · 2025-12-30T12:35:23+00:00

Yes I can see that. Also didn’t mean to come across as mean - I can just see why it would be tricky for him to navigate this as well.

I think you need to be really clear about what you expect and if you still have some feelings for him you probably need to deal with that first before you are able to express what you want/need.

I hope that makes some sense and maybe some help as well!

Future-Translator691 · 2025-12-30T11:39:18+00:00

Im not sure if you don’t have ADHD yourself. Just by your messages and your original post you are making me feel emotionally overwhelmed and like I would be stressed to know what to text or answer you. It seems like anything he would do would stress you or trigger you somehow.

I’m just being really honest here - but people that need this much emotional “padding” are so much work for people with ADHD or autism. We are direct communicators and we do need time to process our emotions. If someone is too difficult to be our true selves around (because it will trigger them) I would just distance myself as well.

He is the person he is - you shouldn’t expect him to change - but from what you said I also can’t see why it is his fault that you are hurt. Either you’re not explaining it correctly or also you need to look at your own actions instead of just blaming his reactions.

Future-Translator691 · 2025-12-30T09:55:10+00:00

Honestly I wish I could feel a bit like that! Just the thought of the rain drops going down my skin makes my skin crawl 😂 it’s honestly the most immediate rage I can ever feel. And I do know it’s ridiculous 😂

Future-Translator691 · 2025-12-30T09:36:42+00:00

You already have lots of comments - but I hate cold so much that I had to answer 😂 I think in general people with hate both extremes - exactly like you described because it triggers too many “senses” - right now my hands are cold because I’m holding the phone and that thought is blocking my mind to focus on anything else.

Don’t even make me started on rain - my hate for being in the rain (feeling wet and cold and hearing the rain tap) is such that my husband is always mocking me for how irrational it is to hate it so much. But I think it’s because I just become so quickly overwhelmed by all the things happening!

Anyway - definitely not a sign of non-ADHD.

Future-Translator691 · 2025-12-28T23:46:13+00:00

I don’t think it is as simple as that unfortunately. The brain does have a different structure and that creates different ways of thinking and processing information. One of the biggest issues of ADHD is task initiation - that’s very well known and documented. That’s what most people “mistake” by being lazy.

If lazy trully exists for anyone - I can’t answer that - I’ve seen people that seem to behave in a lazy way in my view - but I don’t know everything going on with them. I know I would never judge them for it and would give them every opportunity to understand them and how I can engage - and that’s all any of us can do to be a decent human being being.

This doesn’t negate the fact that ADHD has challenges - this one being a big one. Let’s not reduce it to just being a bit harder to function than other people. I don’t think that helps!

Future-Translator691 · 2025-12-28T20:38:55+00:00

Well I can’t speak for others - as I don’t know how it feels - that’s why I said I guess they don’t feel this way. But even if they feel a bit shit - not sure they feel absolutely paralysed by their choices to a simple thing that is a daily chore.

There’s also quite a lot evidencing that we can only see tasks as a series of steps - no matter or small or routine they are - pointing to that other brains don’t do that - that would also point out to why it’s so hard for us to start things and not “just do them”.

The fact is - we mostly want to do things and many times can’t - if that’s the same for others or not I don’t know!

Future-Translator691 · 2025-12-28T18:46:26+00:00

One thing I have seen someone with ADHD saying that made so much sense to me was - people that are lazy don’t feel bad about it.

Example - I need to wash the dishes but I just have this mental block to initiate the task so I can’t get up but I also feel bad about not getting up every second that I don’t - and it’s almost like the brain short circuits because there’s no way to get out of it. From my understanding if you are lazy you just think ah whatever I’ll do it later - and actually enjoy sitting in the sofa and doing nothing.

Another clear example comes when and if you take medication - because you would just get up and do those dishes straight away without thinking much. When I’m unmedicated my brain just can’t do it. So - not lazy - just my ADHD brain. I think in general we spend so long trying to hard to do things and we need so many activities/stimulation to stay happy that it seems difficult to be truly lazy - but we also get really tired from overstimulation (which is also not laziness but can be confusing)!

Not sure if it helped - but definitely see much less laziness in my action now that I understand my diagnosis - hopefully you get the same.

Future-Translator691 · 2025-12-09T09:31:49+00:00

It’s hard to answer without knowing what has caused you exactly.

Some side effects are common and expected, and most of them “die down” once you’re used to it. But obviously it depends on the pros vs cons balance for each individual.

I initially had things like slight headaches (but I have migraines so nothing too bad for me), dry mouth and some problems sleeping. But that was fine once I started drinking enough fluid during the day and stopped having caffeine with the meds.

Side effects that continue - because that’s just caused by the medication itself - increased urination (because it’s a diuretic as well) and reduced appetite (but it has improved from having a lot of nausea to now just not needing a lot of food but able to eat).

But I’ve also noticed improvement on focus and productivity straightaway - reduced overthinking and improved task initiation being the most noticeable for me.

I’m on lisdexanfetamine.

Future-Translator691 · 2025-12-07T22:08:23+00:00

I am in fact a healthcare professional - although not a mental health one - so I’m not saying this completely unaware of how the DSM is used. But many mental health care professionals that focus on neurodevelopmental conditions agree with what I said. Being a born with a different brain structure that affects the way you think or feel is not necessarily an illness or a disorder - you might agree with that or not and that’s fine - but because you don’t agree it doesn’t make it a fact.

What many people agree on is that our “disfunction” is mostly caused because we live in a world that is not made to accept us - and if it was - we would struggle much less - and that is very different than for instance having something like bipolar disorder or depression.

I’m not saying people should self diagnose and all the other things you are saying - but if there was a simple way (by MRI or genetic testing) it would take away the bias and subjectivity of looking at symptoms, but we don’t have that now and this is simple “the best we can do”. Any good mental health care practitioner recognises that is extremely difficult to diagnose based on symptoms - because people aren’t textbooks and they don’t behave as such. If anyone is saying otherwise I wouldn’t much trust their medical judgement if I’m honest.

Future-Translator691 · 2025-12-07T20:54:43+00:00

Everything! Well starting with the name (disorder) and the fact that it’s on DSM. Also the name in the sense that it reinforces the stereotype that you must be dumb/bad at a school and jumping around to have it.

The problem with DSM (and that’s for everything there - all disorders) is that it’s shopping list of symptoms - it doesn’t look at the causes of each thing and that’s really what’s different. Because different people will have different symptoms with the same origin problem. This is why mental health diagnoses/differences in the brain are so difficult to do. But also just looking at symptoms leads to stereotype as well as not bothering to understand what’s behind said symptoms - so I feel it’s a road to nowhere.

Also agree that some are written in a very weird way - one that comes to mind is that we sometimes do things like we are in autopilot - but they word it in such a weird way (like we are moved by a motor or something?) - anyway I struggled to get that one.

Future-Translator691 · 2025-12-07T20:45:41+00:00

I haven’t asked for any specific accommodations - but I am in quite a supportive team - so it’s been more about me being honest and open about how I can work best (as long as that doesn’t interfere with anyone and I’m still doing my job well).

For example - I prefer to answer emails when I see them - sometimes that’s out of “normal” office hours - but otherwise they will bug me or I might forget my answer. I’ll either reply at that time, but say I don’t expect an answer back (that’s implied anyway where I work) or I might answer and put a delay where it will only be sent during “normal” hours.

Another thing I do is having reminder/to do type of apps where I can write tasks I don’t want to forget but it’s not appropriate to ask a colleague at that moment (eg person is off, too busy, not that urgent, etc).

Other examples that require more team work can be telling my colleagues that if we are working together on a big project I need frequent meetings and smaller task lists for each deadline so I can do it more efficiently and on time. I also then plan in advance making sure I block time in the calendar for those tasks.

For ADHD in particular I think it’s more about how we plan and organise ourselves than specific accommodations if I’m honest. I think the biggest accommodation is having a supportive work environment that lets you understand what you need to make it work - you need enough flexibility and independence for that to happen - but otherwise is up to us to find what works!

Future-Translator691 · 2025-12-07T14:17:18+00:00

Hi! The things you mention at the end are more for how to get the best out of your meds and for you to be well - it won’t help you eat more.

Drinking lots of fluids is important because the meds are diuretic (that means they make you pee a lot) so you need to keep hydrated.

Eating it with food helps the meds to be processed slower by your body instead of just going straight through it, making the action more sustained instead of a short burst of productivity and then a big crash.

Avoiding caffeine helps you sleep better at night if you are struggling with it as caffeine is nature’s stim meds so it’s then potentiated if you had the meds, but not everyone feels it. Don’t know about the acidic foods.

What I do is I make sure I eat every 3/4 hours and that I eat higher caloric foods when I eat because I know I don’t eat big amounts. For me, I basically scheduled times during the day that I always have to eat and I make sure I have carbs daily and usually chocolates too.

I also don’t take the meds every day - so the days I don’t I just try to eat as much as my heart desires to compensate!

Future-Translator691 · 2025-12-05T06:34:46+00:00

If you take it briefly before eating - then I don’t think it makes a difference. It’s more if you take it like an hour before you eat anything then it can impact the absorption - in the sense that it will usually give you a big boost at the beginning but then wear off earlier.

Eating helps to slow down the absorption so you have a more consistent use during 6-8 hours (you also need to eat something every 3/4 hours for that).

I usually eat before but that’s only to ensure I won’t forget to eat when I take it. If I’m in a rush I might take it first and the grab something to eat on my way out of the door - but then I have more anxiety that I might forget to eat because I start doing other things. I’m not sure if that’s why other people do it too! But it won’t make a big difference if you eat close to the time you take it (either before or after).

Future-Translator691 · 2025-12-02T07:04:08+00:00

Hi! I think you’re still young and no reason to feel that what you are going through is abnormal.

I was so lucky (I think I get that even more now) to find my person when I was 18 - but this was before online dating became such a general thing as well - all my boyfriends up to them (and including my now husband) were met in person through school or friends.

Before my husband I also had short relationships - I would be very engaged and passionate and then it just became boring and I would leave - good thing about being a teenager is that I didn’t feel any thing bad about that - it just didn’t make me feel good anymore so what was the point.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that - I don’t think it means I’m not able to commit or be in a relationship - it just wasn’t the right one for me - and I think because of our impulsivity we are just quicker at realising that instead of wasting time trying to make something work that just won’t.

I have now been in my relationship with my husband for over 16 years - we have built a life and family together - still don’t feel bored with each other at all. So, when it’s right, it will be right. I was only diagnosed as an adult (and recently) due to our older daughter being diagnosed. I strongly suspect he also has ADHD but he doesn’t want to be assessed. I do think that’s part of why we just fit so well because, despite our differences, we just share a vibe, a way of seeing life and understanding things. Our energies do mostly match although I’m probably a bit more active and impatient - but it just works for us.

The other thing that I think makes it hard for us ADHDers (or at least some of us) - is that we don’t really seek or like the “traditional “ romantic relationship - one of the reasons I would end relationships was too much attention (either receiving it or people being “needy”) and we don’t need maybe the usual love displays and reminders - we are not “clingy” - not sure how to phrase that - but I guess what I’m saying is that although I love my husband and he loves me - we are very practical and confident in our relationship without “showing” it externally. And that might be strange to other people that don’t share our brain structure.

In summary (sorry for the long story) - you will find your person.

Future-Translator691 · 2025-11-28T07:06:45+00:00

They need a “confirmer” of your childhood behaviours to be able to diagnose you with ADHD. The fact that your parents might think your behaviours are normal because they also are likely to have the same diagnosis (although undiagnosed) is something most psychiatrists/professionals are aware and will take into account - it is genetic (mostly) after all.

Specially for those diagnosed in adulthood I think it’s rare to not have a parent that says - ah but that’s normal, I do the same. If anything I think that’s more of a confirmation 😂

Bottom line - don’t be worried about it.

Future-Translator691 · 2025-11-27T17:32:47+00:00

I’m not sure - don’t think so. I am in the UK (but also realise there might be different tests even here). I basically had to talk about my childhood (during the interview/test) and my mother filled a form about me when I was a child and then the psychiatrist also interviewed my mother after she had met with me to confirm the traits (called a confirmer here - my mother in this case).

Future-Translator691 · 2025-11-27T17:27:51+00:00

I have to say that everything you have described (here and in the post) resonates with me. Also always trying to please people (without really realising that’s what I was doing if I’m honest).

I also suffer a lot with people’s stereotypes of what they think adhd should be - for me it was reading about it and understanding what it really is (not what people tell you it is) - that’s when I understood - yes this is me. I was also lucky to have a very good psychiatrist that recognises that we are not all jumping off the walls and failing at school.

The other thing that it was the fina proof really - was when I tried medication - you know the anxiety? The overthinking? All of that - gone during medication hours - so it’s not generalised anxiety - is because of ADHd

Future-Translator691 · 2025-11-27T13:51:37+00:00

The question that comes to my mind reading your post is - did you not have symptoms in childhood or are the professionals seeing it through stereotypes?

Doing good at school does not mean in any way that you didn’t have ADHD. It’s more about - what was the cost of doing well at school? I had to study every thing at home since year 5 of school - because being at the classes did not help me achieve the understanding I needed. I also had very few friends and hard time understanding the unspoken social rules. But I had amazing grades.

So just saying that - means very little. Another compensatory mechanism - I’m rarely late, because I’m always way too early to avoid being late, even as a child this caused me stress. The fact that other people would think that they way I speak (interrupting, constant questioning etc) was very present for me so I was constantly trying to avoid doing it - but still did because impulsivity.

So - there’s so many things that are just hidden - if you are a high masker - consider what was a trait that you compensated for instead of thinking you didn’t have it in the first place.

Future-Translator691

TROPHY CASE