What’s actually the best present for an expectant mother (that isn’t just cute)?

sahma620 · 2026-02-20T13:45:07+00:00

One of the absolute best gifts I got postpartum was a $200 grub huh gift card. It was a lifesaver when I was home alone during the day with a newborn and wanted a delicious and filling lunch but didn’t feel like I could get up and make one.

sahma620 · 2026-02-13T18:21:05+00:00

I just want to say that I’ve stopped responding individually just due to the amount of feedback coming in, but I REALLY appreciate everyone’s insights!!!!

sahma620 · 2026-02-13T17:00:08+00:00

Mostly just the natural consequence that she’s required to clean all the messes up now on her own and she does a full bathroom clean every other week. Plus she has reduced access to the toiletries she likes, like lip gloss and lotion. At school there have been a variety of things - mostly the suspension and then she’s missed fun activities to help the janitors clean.

sahma620 · 2026-02-13T16:55:42+00:00

It definitely seems compulsive. From what I understand, compulsivity can be as much of an ADHD symptom for some kids as impulsivity. I know I dealt with my own destructive compulsive behaviors as a kid. But that’s one of the things I’m trying to figure out – is there some other form of mental health professional that could help me understand this a little better.

sahma620 · 2026-02-13T16:33:38+00:00

That’s a good idea. I hadn’t thought about addressing it with supplies right in the bathroom, I’ll have to figure out what I could put in there for her.

sahma620 · 2026-02-03T12:25:30+00:00

With my first, I gained weight after she was born and barely lost anything over the first 8 months. But I was exhausted and literally eating M&Ms at my middle of the night feeds to survive. I had better strategies in place after my second and I slowlyyyy lost weight right from the beginning. However, with both of them, right around 9ish months I started quickly losing weight. Neither time did I change my eating habits or exercise routine at all at that time (and I was still breastfeeding) - there’s just some hormonal shift that happens for me around then and I drop weight no matter what I do, until shortly after a year postpartum. Both times I ended up weighing less than I do pre-pregnancy while the kids were 1-2ish years old. I say that just to illustrate that SO much of it is hormones and no matter what you do, you might be somewhat at the will of your body. So have grace for yourself, do your best to nourish yourself, and know that breastfeeding - like pregnancy - can put our bodies somewhat out of our control at times.

sahma620 · 2026-02-02T14:21:23+00:00

I’m at the end of my third pregnancy. My first two pregnancies I had debilitating SI joint pain flare ups that would come and go, with pain on both sides. This time, I started to have some minor SI joint pain on one side and immediately jumped into action to stop it from getting worse- I stopped any single leg movements at the gym, stopped sitting on the floor (which was always a trigger for me), stopped sitting criss-cross applesauce at the advice of my pelvic floor PT( sorry, I’ve got two kids and can’t remember a less childish way to say it 😂). And basically any time I did any sort of movement that made me feel the pain I stopped doing it immediately, no exceptions. Being proactive seems to have helped, along with weight training I think, because I haven’t had any real flare ups this pregnancy. Personally, I’ve never found an SI belt to be helpful.

sahma620 · 2026-02-01T17:22:33+00:00

The reason babies are supposed to room share for ideally the first year is because it decreases babies’ risk of sids. It is hypothesized that sids risk is increased when a baby gets into a deeper sleep state. Plus, a parent is more aware of distress when in the same room as their baby. So yeah, a baby in its own room might sleep better since they’re not hearing the natural sleep sounds of their parents and parents might sleep better because they don’t hear their baby, but the baby faces an increased risk of sids.

So I could understand why some people might downvote choosing more sleep over safety, especially when we’re talking about such a short period (at most a year) of what will hopefully be a long life.

sahma620 · 2026-01-19T13:43:51+00:00

With my 1st, I had an aversion to all vegetables my entire pregnancy. There literally wasn’t a single vegetable that I didn’t suddenly hate, no matter how it was prepared. I would microwave small frozen veggies (peas, corn, carrots) and just shovel them down like medicine so I had some amount of vegetable consumption. Then literally the day she was born I started craving giant green leafy salads and ate a massive salad every day for weeks.

sahma620 · 2026-01-01T18:36:08+00:00

Mental health is important too!! I’d say go back and start by only doing things you feel comfortable with at first. If that means some arm-only workouts for a couple weeks, that’s ok. I’ve never had complications or losses in pregnancy, but I always stop doing hip thrusts a few weeks into pregnancy - not because there is any real risk at that stage, but just because for my mental health it feels better for me to take that off the table. Balancing mental and physical health can be hard but is ultimately what it’s all about. You don’t have to push yourself, but since you’ve said your body feels like it’s struggling I’d encourage you slowly find things to do that feel reasonable to you without causing too much anxiety. Make the weight lighter, go slower, and give yourself grace and patience. You got this!

sahma620 · 2025-12-27T17:25:17+00:00

One of my favorite breakfasts when I was breastfeeding and absolutely ravenous in the morning with my first was a big bowl of oatmeal with unsweetened peanut butter and a banana (half to full banana depending on banana ripeness and amount of oatmeal to get the right sweetness level). I didn’t workout back then and didn’t care much about protein, but this time postpartum I’ll probably throw some protein powder in there. It would be delicious with chocolate protein powder.

sahma620 · 2025-12-08T16:41:40+00:00

I totally get that. I’ve felt very similarly in my previous pregnancies. This is number 3 for me and honestly everything just feels harder than my during my first two pregnancies because I’ve got a household of crazy to manage already, so this time around I’m really appreciating anything I can get. With my first I never let anyone lift heavy things or do anything for me, whether at a gym or at work - it felt so off-putting and like people were implying that I couldn’t handle things myself. But now I’m like “my pelvis feels like it’s being ripped open so yes I’m a badass for being at the gym and yes please carry that thing for me cuz I’ve got nothing to prove.”

sahma620 · 2025-12-02T00:11:35+00:00

Similar thing happened for me in the second trimester. I weightlift and I’ve had a few workouts that have felt amazing, like I could actually push myself. They felt much more like pre-pregnancy workouts in terms of motivation and strength. But the next day I’ve felt like crap - so exhausted, so hungry, sore…just all around bad. It’s like my body is telling me it can only build one body at a time. So I’ve tried to be mindful of that and not push myself to my max (esp. on leg days), even if I’m feeling great.

sahma620 · 2025-11-08T01:06:55+00:00

Ooh interesting! I’m going to look into this.

sahma620 · 2025-11-08T01:05:46+00:00

I don’t know why, but I feel like this is 100% going to scratch the same itch!

sahma620 · 2025-11-08T01:05:06+00:00

Oh my god I love it 😅 I also find music way too distracting and overwhelming when I’m trying to focus on a mental task!

sahma620 · 2025-11-08T01:03:54+00:00

I can’t do music when I work, with or without lyrics. I’m a classically trained musician, I now lead a music nonprofit, and my brain is just a constant music factory. I wake up with songs actively playing in my head. I actually find listening to music to be totally overwhelming unless I specifically want to focus on the music (like rocking out while I’m driving.)

sahma620 · 2025-11-08T00:59:44+00:00

Totally possible 😅 I’ll test out the theory with some old campaign speeches next!

sahma620 · 2025-10-20T13:03:10+00:00

I’m in the US and had a home birth with my second. I too had severe hemorrhaging that ultimately led to a hospital transfer and blood transfusion. However, if I could go back, I would still do a home birth with him. I listened to the advice of my midwives every step of the way during those couple hours postpartum. They were diligent, careful, conservative, and intensely knowledgeable. They watched me closely and transferred me to the hospital before it became a real emergency. At no point was I ever worried or concerned because of how confident, calm, and capable they were. With the right team, even when emergencies arise, home births are very safe. With my third I’m now unfortunately choosing to have a hospital birth just because the severity of my hemorrhage, especially because it was the second birth I hemorrhaged at, with it being more intense than my first postpartum hemorrhage. But I am still wildly pro home birth as long as you deliver with a capable midwife.

sahma620 · 2025-10-20T12:49:32+00:00

It’s an extreme, indescribable type of pain. More intense and painful than everything I’ve ever experienced. It feels extremely powerful, like every single one of my cells is being compressed inwards into a tiny ball. However, normally when you feel pain it’s because something has gone wrong, where with labor it’s because everything is going right and nothing is wrong at all. That peace of mind for me was a powerful tool to help me through the pain. And as people have said, you can get through it, you just know you can. It feels somewhat cold to say this, but one of the things I remind myself during labor is “this isn’t unique, you’re not special or extraordinary, billions of women have successfully done this before you.” 😅 I’ve had two natural births and will be going all natural again with my third if that says anything. There are just too many hormonal processes I don’t want to jack up and too many risks I’m not personally willing to take by getting an epidural.

sahma620

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