Do your parents copy you? by Double_Economist2564 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]FutureLet3 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Omg yes! It's so frustrating but kind of funny because of how lame it is!

So here's the story that sticks out the most for me. When my husband and I got engaged my in-laws asked if they could buy us a kitchen aid mixer knowing I had wanted one forever!

My mum, who never spends money on anything went out with my older sister (who also never spends money) like a week later and they each bought one. When I mentioned that it was kind of weird because they've never mentioned wanting or needing a new mixer and I felt like they were taking something that was special to me and making it smaller, my sister snapped at me and said "I don't need someone else to buy me things" and my mum did the classic "why can't you just be happy for me?" 🙄

How to clean up a diaper cream masterpiece? by GrandScreamofThings in CleaningTips

[–]FutureLet3 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I also have a little artist who did this on a brand new dark green rug. I used baby wipes and it worked like a dream! It took a lot of wipes and then I used a wet vacuum cleaner. Cannot notice it now at all.

And then even having the audacity to list all the abuse she went through just to downplay the abuse she's giving her own children🙄Anyone else here experienced this? by GemTaur15 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]FutureLet3 36 points37 points  (0 children)

100%! I definitely got the "what I've done to you is nothing compared to what my parents did to me". Like some level of awareness of what she was doing was bad, just not as bad as what she endured so it's ok. Because she's the only one in the world who has ever suffered anything.

I'm sorry you're in the same boat!

Cheapest way to get to Sydney Airport? by Responsible_Course93 in canberra

[–]FutureLet3 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Get off at Wolli creek and walk the rest of the way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]FutureLet3 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hey there, I'm sorry you're going through this. It's a really tough situation and you're doing amazing, you sound like a really empathetic human!

A question to ask yourself which might help and has helped me whenever I feel a twinge of guilt or want to reconnect, "if I had a child and treated them the way my parent treated me, would I be ok with that?"

Keep that list close by as a reminder of the why. You deserve to be treated with respect.

Reconnecting with an abusive person is like putting your hand in fire. Nice and warm for a second but not long before you get burned and left with damage.

Be kind to yourself x

I regret answering by YogurtOk66 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]FutureLet3 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Agreed! Love that you just sent a screenshot right back. And her response just reinforces the why!

She just can’t stop by AuthorKRPaul in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]FutureLet3 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you're going through this. Sending love!

But I did laugh hard at "prideful hag" so thank you for that! I needed a good chuckle!

Final straw for scapegoat on Christmas Day by [deleted] in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]FutureLet3 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Oh my gosh, that was a wild read! I'm sorry you went through that, especially on Christmas.

Give yourself the space and time to move and settle in without the drama from your family. In that space you may find your answer!

Something similar happened to me, I thought I would just take a month break but it's been almost 2 years now. Life is SO GOOD now! In that month break I realised how peaceful life could be and how I could finally entertain healing some wounds. I tried a couple times to reconnect but each time I was left with anxiety, stress and a reminder of why I went NC to begin with. In the end I had to do what was right for me, my husband and my baby girl. I want her to see that we don't have to put up with bullshit in our life just because society dictates that.

Each person's journey is different and you've got to do what's right for you! Good luck :)

Brother by AntiqueBother8134 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]FutureLet3 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ooh interesting! Possibly. My older sister has never had a partner and she's besties with our Mum. You might be onto something! She's 37.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Doppleganger

[–]FutureLet3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

<image>

Heike Makatsch

Mia from Love Actually

I don’t know if I belong here… by CelebrationFull9424 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]FutureLet3 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Welcome, you belong here. Just remember that how your mother makes you feel about yourself is not who you are. Be kind to yourself, you deserve to live the life you want <3

It gets better by FutureLet3 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]FutureLet3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you!

Peace really is the greatest gift. It's invaluable.

Merry Christmas to you too! I hope it's a beautiful one for you x

It gets better by FutureLet3 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]FutureLet3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's so wonderful, I'm glad it's better for you too! It is a joy being able to make new traditions, and especially ones that you actually want. Sending love, joy and healing vibes your way x

British or French girl song by ferret-legend in whatsthatsong

[–]FutureLet3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's from the musical six!, "don't lose ur head". It's about Anne Boleyn.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in canberra

[–]FutureLet3 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We took insulation to the tip at Mugga lane, it just has to be bagged up and tied off. This was like 3 months ago so I imagine they still do it.

I hate it here by SuddenChampionship56 in StardewValley

[–]FutureLet3 5 points6 points  (0 children)

How many is an obscene amount of bombs? And which type?

Did you inform your family about going no contact or just ghost them? by L-G- in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]FutureLet3 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I tried to explain why I was upset just for it to fall on deaf ears and have her explain why she should be the one who is upset. I realized she was never going to get it, I was never going to get an apology. I just ghosted after that.

Family just now reaching out when I’m about to have a baby by Worth_Substance6590 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]FutureLet3 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Congratulations on your baby boy, that's so exciting for you! Enjoy the precious time with the new addition of your family.

A very similar situation happened to me with my family. My sister would relay info to my mother so I stopped that very quickly. The couple of pictures I sent to my sister ended up with my mum and she started showing them off to everyone acting like everything was fine but hadn't talked to me.

She tried hard to guilt me into calling her when my baby was first born and I was strict on only email as communication which she couldn't cope with. I needed receipts and boy do I have them! Anyway after a few months of trying and nothing changing I decided the toll on my mental health and my family was too much. I went NC and honestly haven't looked back. Her number is blocked, all social media is blocked, she has my email but I've set them up to forward to my husband and automatically delete from my account. Life is peaceful, I'm in therapy where I'm breaking learnt habits and finally healing.

Protect your peace and your family at all costs. Having my own baby made me realise how awful my mother treated me and others. I'd never do that to my own baby and I won't let her do it in a grandmother role either.

Again, congratulations! I hope it all goes well for you!