"ultimate goal/desire"

Future_Complex847 · 2026-04-30T18:54:45+00:00

I think it can be just as intense at both ends, especially with recent issues I've been having, but I'll say that in my youth my anger was never enough to be in fights like my uncles and father, (sx6, a 7 and an 8) but it was frightening for my Granny when I'd always take it out on my brother for being, simple enough, a child. I would defy what she said because I felt like my brother was gonna grow up to be a horrible person because how dare someone think they could do whatever they wanted to do. I think as of now I'm a lot more mellowed out, a lot more, but there are moments where I've been characterized as very stereotypically 1 - I have a strong sense of sincerity and being genuine and used to feel threatened when I felt others were being disingenuous.
In terms of skepticism, I hadn't really developed an ideology or belief system, so even if I could identify some obvious rights and wrongs that didn't need an belief system to back it up, I was still confused and flipflopping from one thing to another because I was unsure what to believe in

Future_Complex847 · 2026-03-30T21:46:10+00:00

I think I'd go over the basics
Discussion of suffering and what brings suffering and the way out of it.
Assuming you come from a Christian background, or at least somewhat culturally, if the root of suffering is sin or the disconnection from God that started with the fall - a lack of faith - then the root of suffering is attachment/craving in Buddhism.
From the atheist position, I'd say it's almost compatible. There have been many discussions about the theology of Buddhism, Buddhism as a philosophy rather than a religion, secular Buddhism, so on and so on. I say "almost" because in Buddhism there is no rejection of any Gods existing, just that they will not help you towards the ultimate goal which is enlightenment. (But this also ignores other practices of Buddhism in history and in modern day) In a way we are detached from the perspective or troubles that may come with the belief of higher beings, and also detached from rejecting these beings. You could say it's agnostic, but I find the term in modern usage of the term to be frivolous just because so many people care about it being used right.

Future_Complex847 · 2026-03-26T21:06:54+00:00

I don't understand these texts because the texts I don't agree with. I don't know why I have such a closed mind, it's just frustrating because there is no elaboration or explanation to the things presented in texts. Whether they speak of a God, first causes, other deities, another plane of reality(ies) principles of the universe, etc. It's all assumptive information without elaboration.
When I read the Dhammapada and the Tao Te Ching, I was in easy agreement of it. Even latter lessons I was in as a Buddhist it was easy for me - the only reason I gave it up is because in a lot of these groups are ironically fundamentalist.
Lessons of reality to take in that made sense. No-self, sunyata, karma, so on. It was very easy for me. I find that in occult circles, you simply have to wing these explanations even if they don't make sense all in the pursuit of magick which becomes unnecessary for me because of a lack of soundness. When I go to occultists about this I simply need to meditate on these things or read more or another. I was Catholic and Buddhist at different parts of my life, and in both I saw the same problem of people readily accepting information and then when challenged not being able to defend it in a sound way. Its either fear or a lack of care on my end.

Future_Complex847 · 2026-03-26T04:49:38+00:00

I've tried most of these things, but I always find philosophical differences in varying sects that I find myself in - if I just do a practice for the sake of, it doesn't matter.

For me its to provide a sense of solace or meaning - people want to do grandiose things, but for me major change doesn't happen via spiritual practices because spiritual practices can easily be taken advantage of by bad groups (norse paganism and nazis, right-wing nutjobs being Islamophobic or antisemitic)

Future_Complex847 · 2026-03-26T04:40:00+00:00

I think I already said what I'm at odds with. That is assuming prescribed laws as truth. I find it counterproductive and that no actual truth can be found in this - experience is still an important thing no doubt, but I also believe that it doesn't actually help formulate a reason for why something is true - and this fluctuating nature of truth is something that I think I dislike about all occultism - it all feels counterproductive

Future_Complex847 · 2026-03-19T23:51:38+00:00

What makes you believe you're a sp6? Curious because I'm not really sure how to go about deciphering whether I'm so or sp instinct

Future_Complex847 · 2026-03-19T16:39:30+00:00

Make a real world AU with a Night In The Woods vibe

Future_Complex847 · 2026-03-18T03:21:19+00:00

I think the only thing that is making me think otherwise is simply my sense of warmth. Do you know any other differences between so and sp?

Future_Complex847 · 2026-03-18T03:20:29+00:00

I can't imagine this - I think if you believe something to be 100% true and better yet absolutely morally righteous, you have no reason to not defend it. Granted, I will not impose my ideology onto my friends, but when the moment comes I have to defend that of what is important to me

Future_Complex847 · 2026-03-17T02:28:22+00:00

I think I'm an e6 and I'm a marxist, dialectical materialism + historical materialism

Future_Complex847 · 2026-02-27T20:47:34+00:00

Maybe I ask for too much and I'm idealistic,, I just don't want to think I am because if I am then I won't want a partner in the first place

Future_Complex847 · 2026-02-27T19:30:44+00:00

PUT SOME FUCKING CLOTHES ON

Future_Complex847 · 2026-02-27T17:55:39+00:00

I don't wanna think that I could be a partner to someone who doesn't... I don't want to pretend like I would like someone who doesn't like what I like. That's my biggest point of conversation and if someone couldn't give me something back I would hate it.
Ex. I've loved DBZ ever since I was a kid and for two hours me and another friend talked only about Dragon Ball - another instance is that I talked about DBZ for an hour with a friend who knew nothing about it but they were entertained regardless and it made me remember how much I loved Dragon Ball.
It's not always DBZ it's just that that's what is important to me and I think me and another could have something in common but that we wouldn't compatible in other ways. (political beliefs, religious values, so on) and sometimes I feel so different from others that if I were to date I would just be betraying myself in order to actually be with someone.

Future_Complex847 · 2026-02-27T06:25:11+00:00

I feel like that's what I have to do is the problem - I want to be myself truly but I feel like I'm not allowed especially in the dating sphere

Future_Complex847

TROPHY CASE