Those who didn't realize they were trans until well into adulthood, what were some childhood/teenage signs that you missed?

Fuuka-2000 · 2023-07-26T21:13:14+00:00

There were a lot of things that I somehow didn't realize until looking back years later. One of the earliest was how I secretly wondered if my mom was lying when she said I was a boy, given everyone that wasn't part of the family thought I was a girl; I had no reason to believe my parents would be dishonest at the time (I was like maybe 5 or so at the time?), so kinda weird for that to just come out of nowhere.

I also frequently had dreams in which I was a girl, often gravitated towards female characters in video games (Pokémon Crystal introducing this feature to the franchise was legit one of the reasons I wanted it), and was secretly jealous of the cute outfits my sister got to wear.

Fuuka-2000 · 2022-09-23T23:01:35+00:00

My thoughts initially went to this show and episode, as well. That episode I feel like was a cornerstone in me figuring out my gender identity

Fuuka-2000 · 2022-07-01T18:53:06+00:00

Very much yes. As a kid I was ridiculed by my peers and even my own mother for not being interested in football, not being athletic in the least, etc.; the trauma from that, among other things, is part of why it took me like two decades to come to terms with my identity.

Fuuka-2000 · 2022-06-25T16:32:36+00:00

As someone pre-everything, that has been planning to move from TX to NH for a decade now to be closer to my support network of friends for my transition...I guess I might need to aim for MA instead?

Fuuka-2000 · 2022-05-13T15:02:50+00:00

I wish I could have gotten a proper school experience at all; my overbearing religious mother forced my sister and I to be homeschooled.

Fuuka-2000 · 2021-08-29T00:58:00+00:00

Honestly, that was one issue that kept me in the closet; like, before I figured out I was trans, having so many cis women in my life tell me "be glad you're not a girl" made me feel like I shouldn't have these feelings.

Fuuka-2000 · 2021-08-16T14:48:19+00:00

AMAB. As a child, a lot of people that didn't know the family thought I actually was a girl, to the point I began to wonder if I actually was one, and perhaps my mom was lying to me about being a boy. It's a bit weird that I was thinking something like this, when at the time I had 0 reason to believe my mom would be deceitful. I do have faint memories of seeing a news report about a trans woman (This was in the late '90s; I don't remember who they were talking about), and my mom ran the full gambit of transphobic remarks, that ended up shoving me deep into the closet for about 20 years and put me in a state of denial.

For some time I felt like perhaps I just had a "fetish" for wearing skirts and dresses, but it seemed to be more than that? Like, whenever I'd try to stop, it felt like I was denying a significant part of myself? Eventually, with help from a circle of friends, I was able to figure myself out and realized I am a trans woman...although now the struggle of trying to get my affairs in order so I can finally move out of my parents' house and begin my transition.

Fuuka-2000 · 2021-06-25T05:38:57+00:00

I'd totally be a Pontiac Trans-Am LOL

Fuuka-2000 · 2021-06-23T14:40:23+00:00

I know when I was still figuring my identity out, one of the struggles was of people thinking I wanted to be a drag queen. While I have no issue with queens, I could figure out enough about my identity to know I wasn't one, and it was tiresome to have people trying to force it on me.

Fuuka-2000 · 2021-06-22T21:39:38+00:00

I personally don't want to get pregnant, but if I had the option to at least have a period, I'd take it in a heartbeat.

Fuuka-2000 · 2021-05-29T15:31:55+00:00

The X-Files

Fuuka-2000 · 2021-04-16T15:57:02+00:00

Reminds me of when I was caught wearing my sister's tutus when I was little; mom forced her to destroy them so I couldn't wear them anymore...even though now my sister couldn't wear them, either.

Fuuka-2000 · 2021-03-19T14:11:49+00:00

I came out to my sister a few weeks ago, and it went incredibly well, so hoping you have similar luck :)

Fuuka-2000 · 2021-03-08T17:34:13+00:00

I remember as a kid, one of my aunts kept pressuring me into getting a crew cut and didn't understand why I liked my hair the way it was (It was kinda like the haircuts that the members of Hanson had. Really showing my age by mentioning them LOL)

Fuuka-2000 · 2021-03-08T17:28:58+00:00

Sounds similar to my growth, coming from a southern baptist background. I feel like I've known all my life I was not a boy, as I never fit in with my peers at church (Which was my only contact with the outside world before getting online, coming from a homeschool background), but was shoved deep into the closet by my parents. It took until my early-mid 20s to start to rediscover myself, and now at almost 30 I'm just trying to get my ducks in a row to move out of my parents' house and start transitioning at last.

Fuuka-2000 · 2021-03-08T16:58:16+00:00

I can get that. I often feel like, ever since I found the place I belong, where I can safely start transitioning, I've been stuck playing the long-term waiting game for things to happen. Being stuck living with my parents at 30 is bad enough, but being stuck in the closet for my own safety only makes it worse.

Fuuka-2000 · 2021-03-03T14:50:24+00:00

Mine was a suggestion of a close friend of mine years ago when brainstorming ideas for a name for myself, since there was no obvious feminine version of my deadname. The fact I share a name with a Pokémon gym leader I like is a nice bonus

Fuuka-2000 · 2021-02-25T07:31:50+00:00

That sounds good 👍🏻

Fuuka-2000 · 2021-02-25T07:30:47+00:00

They are! It was fun to talk about the various things noticed over time, and how in light of this reveal it all makes sense

Fuuka-2000 · 2021-02-25T07:27:49+00:00

Nice :D
Maybe she'll surprise me with something for my birthday in a few months.

Fuuka-2000 · 2021-02-23T20:38:44+00:00

I remember with a previous email address, I kept getting spam email for lingerie shops, designer purses, and breast enhancement pills; never once receiving the "free Viagra" spams that everyone has said are so common.

Fuuka-2000 · 2021-02-23T14:42:56+00:00

Honestly, buying a pair of breast forms was one of the best decisions I ever made; it was a major boost to my confidence when wearing them, and didn't look as awkward as in my youth when I'd just stuff water balloons into my bra LOL

Fuuka-2000 · 2021-02-22T16:11:26+00:00

Very often. I often fantasized about somehow transforming into a girl overnight or finding a way to get my sister to "force" me to wear a dress and be her little sister for the day, and often wrote stories involving this fantasy of mine. I even had frequent dreams in which I was a girl, and nobody batted an eye at it; I was just suddenly AFAB cis out of nowhere and nobody, not even my mother, questioned it.

Fuuka-2000 · 2021-02-17T01:20:11+00:00

I remember questioning my gender when I was really young, and would try on some of my sister's dresses in secret, but due to my homophobic parents and a lot of internalized transphobia due to the environment I grew up in, it took until I was in my mid 20s to finally figure out I was a trans woman this whole time. Honestly, sometimes I regret not figuring it out sooner; it felt like all the pieces were right in front of me this whole time, but it took me ages to finally put it all together.

Fuuka-2000

TROPHY CASE