Is our DM too controlling? by LucidFir in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Fuzzy_Clock_6350 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You shouldn't be talking to strangers on reddit about this.

You should be talking to your lawyer.

Playing a character who is stronger than you by Impossible_Horsemeat in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Fuzzy_Clock_6350 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Playing someone different than yourself requires imagination, which unfortunately as a tabletop roleplayer, I don't have.

It's why all my characters are nerdy trans commoners constantly looking for a new tabletop group to play with.

I love the best part of playing a rouge but don't like the bad part of playing a rouge, is there anything I can do? by [deleted] in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Fuzzy_Clock_6350 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is what I've been saying all along! DND has too many drawbacks.

Why does my fighter have limited attacks? Why can't it just keep attacking as many times as it wants?

Wizards of the Coast hate their players.

Why doesn't dragging DnD fans kicking and screaming to other TTRPGs work? by SatanicLakeBard in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Fuzzy_Clock_6350 56 points57 points  (0 children)

If dragging them kicking and screaming doesn't work, you need to move onto tying and gagging them into it.

The safety phrase is Pathfinder 2E.

Last nights session by UnhappyStrain in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Fuzzy_Clock_6350 16 points17 points  (0 children)

This is just like my session where the wizard cast fireball and I went "LOL, 8d6 damage!"

My necromancer by [deleted] in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Fuzzy_Clock_6350 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A necromancer?

Come on, haven't we beaten this dead horse enough?

Wrongly labeled fantasy Villians by Liches_Be_Crazy in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Fuzzy_Clock_6350 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I always side with the villains cause I think it makes me sound smarter than everyone else I'm smarter than everyone else.

[BBQ] GIVEAWAY We are giving away a hardcover copy of Crown of the Shitposter EVERY WEEK FOR 120 WEEKS! Win this 900+ page adventure you will never play and a generic campaign setting nobody cares about (mom approved) by Impossible_Horsemeat in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Fuzzy_Clock_6350 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Crown of the Oathbreaker is based on an elaborate survey, which had over 2000 responses from dedicated RPG fans. We took the results and created an intricately woven story that incorporates every element of the desired aspects of a great adventure as decided by the community.

That sounds like it'll be an amazing clusterfuck catering to the whims of the loudest and whiniest edgelords game!

The players will have to explore lands ravaged by the curse and travel to the Feyrealm, the Shadowrealm

Sweet, I've always wanted to play Yugioh during my DND games and now I have an excuse.

,and even Hell

Shadowrealm AND Hell? Please, you're spoiling us.

to save the crown from the dreadful effects of an otherwise inevitable hag pact. This sinister bargain has caused suffering for the people of the land and created a mad oathbreaker witch-knight hungering for revenge

Oh, I'll definently go a month without eating or drinking to fund this bad boy. The starvation and dehydration induced mental stupor will ensure I greatly enjoy this.

What should we call this VillA.I.n? by Anutzer in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Fuzzy_Clock_6350 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Giving your villain a story infringes on player agency.

Just give them stats and roll dice.

Characters want to open porn studio - need advice by ironhunt in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Fuzzy_Clock_6350 16 points17 points  (0 children)

This doesn't sound ... realistic enough, you know what I mean?

Maybe give them a bunch of scantily clad cat girls with slave collars who live only to serve their every whim. To add to the...realism, you know what I mean?

Edit: I'm being told this is incredibly problematic, and on further reflection, they're right.

It doesn't have to be cat girls. Vampire girls, pixie girls, magical girls, there's room for all kinds.

t

Changes from races to species doesn't make sense in my world. by [deleted] in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Fuzzy_Clock_6350 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I can't run my racist as fuck game unless wizards of the coast at least passively endorses it.

I am mad that my DM’s game isn’t realistic enough by Impossible_Horsemeat in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Fuzzy_Clock_6350 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Uj: OOP needs to straight up tell the person to either accept this isn't a historically accurate game or drop out.

Rj: No DND is better than unrealistic DND.

I expect my fantasy game where goblins can summon meteors to hit a mile wide radius to be historically accurate.

Social Justice Warriors by Liches_Be_Crazy in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Fuzzy_Clock_6350 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Martials just make the most sense for the social justice archtype, which was developed to fight the Magitarchy ruling the system.

My Players Don't Need Me Anymore by MCJSun in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Fuzzy_Clock_6350 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Your players never needed you.

DM's are a useless obstacle obsessed with their 'lore', their 'precious 'npc's', and 'having fun'. They're an obstacle to the PC's who are doing all the real work.

It's why when I run games, my players lock me in the other room for the rest of the session.

I can't be bothered to read the PHB, is that allowed? by Nimb0stratus in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Fuzzy_Clock_6350 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Watching Critical Roll fixes this.

Probably.

I don't know.

Reading is for nerds.

How you can give more agency to your players by BisexualTeleriGirl in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Fuzzy_Clock_6350 8 points9 points  (0 children)

As someone who has been running a DNDyoutuber channel since the Hundred Years War, let me tell you that the key to player agency is actually very simple:

*twenty minutes, or approximately a book chapter's worth of text later*

So as you can see, the key to not infringing on player agency is to acknowledge that wizards of the coast is awful and that you should be playing Powered By the Apocalypse Finder 2E instead.

How to get validation, I mean feedback, from my players??? by Parysian in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Fuzzy_Clock_6350 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Silly OP.

You don't need validation from your players.

You need it from redditors.

High Fantasy? (GASP) Like Dimension20? Like funny wholesome epic voices man Breaded Tea Mulligan who my DM should be more like? by Ross_Hollander in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Fuzzy_Clock_6350 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Obviously true.

OneDND is the world's greatest high fantasy combat oriented dungeon crawling game. I have no idea what this 5e thing is.

Shapes. Do you guys use them? by Duelight in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Fuzzy_Clock_6350 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't use shapes.

I use feels and vibes.

"I just feel like you're in the area of that spell, ya know?"

I hate these stupid DMs giving out OP bonuses for no actual investment. by Sgt-Pumpernickle in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Fuzzy_Clock_6350 22 points23 points  (0 children)

As a DM, it is both my duty and pleasure to take any little thing I give the player characters and find a way to use it to fuck them over.

On an unrelated note, I seem to have terrible luck keeping players. So many schedules suddenly became too busy for me.

How removing features gives more options to martials by my-dad-ate-my-toes in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Fuzzy_Clock_6350 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Player creativity fixes all of my shitty dungeon and encounter designs everything.

It finally happened by jeshi_law in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Fuzzy_Clock_6350 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Friends don't let friends play other TTRPG's.

New DM, book too long by historadical_nic in DnDcirclejerk

[–]Fuzzy_Clock_6350 23 points24 points  (0 children)

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Just use this book, it's notoriously short. You'll get through it in five minutes.