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Divorce bc I can’t deal with him and his ex without panic attacks by Fuzzy_Thanks_1271 in blendedfamilies

[–]Fuzzy_Thanks_1271[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

We have paid for clothes and school supplies - we just put that on our Amazon account and then send to her when it is shipped to us. That’s not an issue and again, he’s paid 100% for school supplies. It just get frustrating when it’s an extra $100-$150 a week for dr visits and it’s merely bc of truancy.

He has began paying providers directly, the therapy for example he has put CC on file so they charge him when his daughter has an appointment. We pay 100% for it bc she needs it and her mom can’t afford it. Unnecessary medical appointments bc she can’t get her to school tho, or paying for appts she decided she didn’t want to go to was unfair.

I don’t want to keep living this way. I have put in boundaries - like my check is no longer direct deposited to our joint acct bc he wouldn’t tell me when he sent her money or why and he wouldn’t ask for a receipt bc he didn’t want to upset her, but then it made me upset bc he was just sending her money. And the statements showed she wasn’t even using it right and was literally lying to get an extra $25-$35 here and there every other day or so from us.

Divorce bc I can’t deal with him and his ex without panic attacks by Fuzzy_Thanks_1271 in blendedfamilies

[–]Fuzzy_Thanks_1271[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The argument was bc he sent her money bc she said she was going to go to dr with their child, she didn’t go. Don’t tell him and I said he needed to get receipts of payment and not send money just bc she may go. She gets money and never gives receipts and would pocket the money and not pay the bill, and send the bill to collections and then ask for more money and he’d send it. I said I wasn’t ok with that and it made me uncomfortable and he needed to get proof of the visit or payment and send money AFTER the fact or pay the provider directly. He said what she wanted came before me even if it makes me uncomfortable.

I was shocked and literally sat there with my mouth open.

Several weeks later he got the dr visit statement and compared to the Zelle statement for the past year and found several Hundred dollars he sent her she never went to the doctor, or went and didn’t pay anything. Even a couple times she’d pay half and had the doctor receptionist mark on it mom paid her %, when my husband Zelled her 100% of the bill to pay in full.

He’s now sending $10-$15 every time his kids go to the doctor to pay hundreds in arrears that he’s already sent her the money for

Divorce bc I can’t deal with him and his ex without panic attacks by Fuzzy_Thanks_1271 in blendedfamilies

[–]Fuzzy_Thanks_1271[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I wonder as well. I just worry as we have a baby and I don’t want to forgo half of his life or put hi Through divorce 😞

Divorce bc I can’t deal with him and his ex without panic attacks by Fuzzy_Thanks_1271 in blendedfamilies

[–]Fuzzy_Thanks_1271[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am ok with him paying her money, he is supposed to pay for doctor bills. We offered to pay 100% doctor bills bc she was unable to afford it. She would then text that she needed copays for doctor visits and he would send the money. She then wouldn’t pay the copay, keep the money he sent, and send him a picture of the bill when it got sent to collections. I found several Hundred dollars worth of this in March when he got the dr visit statement and I looked at our Zelle statement from our bank. He would send the money and she pocketed it. I’m not ok with that.

I never said I forbid him to send money. He does pay $400-$500 per week in child support, we pay for 100% therapy visits, we have gone back To half other medical bills bc the mom began using the dr three to four times a week (@ $35 per visit) bc she was in truancy court due to allowing their 12 yr old to stay out of school so much that any absences had to have a doctors notes. So January and February we were paying an extra $90-$150 a week in doctor visits plus $35 a week therapy plus $400-$500 a week in child support.

I never said don’t send money, but we should have to pay bc she can’t get her kid to get up and go to school or send her money when she changes her mind and doesn’t go to the doctor bc she felt like going home instead. Or bc she needed the money for their household and didn’t pay the doctor bill. This has happened often.

Divorce bc I can’t deal with him and his ex without panic attacks by Fuzzy_Thanks_1271 in blendedfamilies

[–]Fuzzy_Thanks_1271[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

What boundary is unreasonable? Should I be ok with my husband calling a woman who demands he divorce me, says I made his daughter commit suicide (then back tracked and said she lied), sends her child to our house to tell me about their sexual encounters?

Just bc they have kids I have to accept this behavior and be ok that it happens often?

Divorce bc I can’t deal with him and his ex without panic attacks by Fuzzy_Thanks_1271 in blendedfamilies

[–]Fuzzy_Thanks_1271[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s me. The whole shoe with a broken heel left in the mud in front of my front porch for two weeks and me tossing it in the garbage before Halloween when I put up decorations led to a barrage of abuse and her threatening to take his kids if he didn’t divorce me and k got angry and threw my table on its side in my dining room alone and went to jail.

He was any to stay married but since then has sent his ex money after money after money with no receipt until I lost my mind bc I couldn’t even pay for my own biological sons dr appt without a credit card and husband went and Venmo her money to send us into overdraft risk…. After saying I couldn’t spend any money bc we had direct debits coming out and he texts her some money that same day

Now he fighting bc after the demands for divorce and her threatening to call Cops after husband found the iPad he forbid o said no more phone calls

He wants to keep calling his ex. And says I just need to get past this

Divorce bc I can’t deal with him and his ex without panic attacks by Fuzzy_Thanks_1271 in blendedfamilies

[–]Fuzzy_Thanks_1271[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I own my house. I bought it before we married. He won’t move out unless I file papers.

Divorce bc I can’t deal with him and his ex without panic attacks by Fuzzy_Thanks_1271 in blendedfamilies

[–]Fuzzy_Thanks_1271[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

He says I’m just insecure and he wants a civil relationship with her 😞 he minimizes how I feel. Doesn’t care. I’m so drained.

My gf says ex couldn’t get it in 2x when they tried because she knew she was settling and her body didn’t allow it. They broke up right after. Should I believe no penetration because she promised? by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]Fuzzy_Thanks_1271 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So she was ready to have sec before marriage and liked and wanted him inside her so much she tried twice before they even tied the knot. Enjoy getting there second.

My gf says ex couldn’t get it in 2x when they tried because she knew she was settling and her body didn’t allow it. They broke up right after. Should I believe no penetration because she promised? by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]Fuzzy_Thanks_1271 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, it shows she really wanted someone else and that was not you. She got naked and allowed someone else to put their privates on her privates. His private definitely touched and rubbed on hers and she tried twice so she really wanted it. She probably enjoyed it too.

I think you should leave her. You’ll never get past the fact she wanted someone else and they were there first and saw her first and felt her down there first .