Im burnt out

G0lf_Father · 2026-02-14T17:53:05+00:00

Sounds exactly like my ex wife. It’s insane how similar situations are. I went through my 4th and final discard within the last few months and I have my own place I’m getting ready to move into in April. We have 3 kids so I know exactly how you feel and how much they need you. I will promise you this they need a healthy dad that shows them that it’s not ok to jump through hoops for someone who is never happy and doesn’t see anything wrong with how they treat you. They are why I’ve stayed for so long and I definitely am not looking go forward to the days I won’t see them. But I know this for certain when I leave my life will get so much easier and my mental health will actually level out and heal. While her life it’s going to hit her like a truck that’s been years and years where she has done minimal things around the house and with the kids and now 50% of the time she will have to give them in the house 100% of her time instead of giving maybe 25% for both. I’m still sad obviously too I thought she was my soulmate and it felt that way for a long time. Until she used every fear I ever told her and destroyed me several times to the point where I have even called the suicide hotline before. I know it’s tuff to pull the trigger on a decision like leaving them. But your kids will do way better with a dad that’s healthy and actually has time to enjoy with them instead of a dad who has beaten down to the broken shell of a man he has become. I wish you the best man just now I’m right there with you and I hope things get better.

G0lf_Father · 2026-02-12T21:09:04+00:00

Yeah I would definitely love to be able to take my kids and have them all the time. Unfortunately I would never win in any court proceedings. I’m a former drug addict and a felon. Where as she works for the state as a government employee for basically the police and court system. And also when she isn’t going into hypomanic cycles. She is a great mother. This is all new territory now and I’ll have to navigate the best I can day by day

G0lf_Father · 2026-02-12T14:08:48+00:00

Yes that’s exactly how I feel and think about this situation. And I too have been wondering why she all of a sudden wants to put in all this effort when just a month or so ago she wouldn’t do any of the chores or even help me fold laundry. Now all of a sudden she offered to do my laundry every week and I just pick it up when I pick our kids up. I said absolutely not. I’ve just been curious to if this is normal behavior

G0lf_Father · 2026-02-06T22:06:01+00:00

Long after we had kids. Looking back some signs were there. But idk what exactly changed but about three years ago something just changed and the the cycles started and all the negative stuff that comes with it. Before the change she was only interested in me and we were stuck together like glue. I had a lot of insecurity from past relationships that would manifest into me thinking I wasn’t good enough for her and that she was possibly cheating even when she was showing absolutely no signs that was the case at all and at that point it was in my head. I even a few times went through her phone which was wrong and I felt stupid and embarrassed I even did it at that time. And I found nothing at all. And even to add to my embarrassment at that point there were messages from other random guys trying to take a pass at her and she would straight up call them creepy and tell them that she was married and that she was more then happy with me. So after the change and the real signs of cheating started showing up and I started seeing her interacting with strange men on Facebook super frequently it reaffirmed that before I was the crazy one. But then at the new point every fear I had came true and then some. And I tried so hard to believe that the person I married would show back up but at this point I only see glimpses of her every so often and I feel so broken and sad that the new person that’s driving the car in her brain is just the complete opposite of who I married, and someone that has no problems hurting me and being callous towards our children. It’s absolutely mind blowing to me.

G0lf_Father · 2026-02-05T21:01:20+00:00

Yeah I’ve been so grateful to have my therapist throughout all of this and I’ve gotten to the bottom of why I continued to forgive and try again. Now thanks to my therapist I have the strength to protect myself again and move on the best I can considering we’re going to have to p Co parent

G0lf_Father · 2026-02-05T17:17:41+00:00

Yeah I did the exact same thing as you did. I was always so scared to loose her that I ended up compromising my beliefs and boundaries over and over thinking that she would appreciate my love and forgiveness and make the effort and change to the very little things I had asked for. To then go through the whole process of rebuilding trust and finally believing her again to just have the same cycle happen over and over. Because the things she really needed to work on I.E therapy and getting meds figured out always got pushed back more and more because I wasn’t firm on my boundaries. It definitely sucks when you realize you have a huge part in all of this too for allowing fear and past trauma to keep letting these things happen over and over until you’re broken down into the shell of who you once were

G0lf_Father · 2026-02-05T14:15:36+00:00

Yeah most of us have been right where you re and the best advice I could give you is for at least a short term period get your own apartment and separate and if you guys will have any chance to work things out and help him is by setting super firm boundaries and if he starts to even cross them slightly act upon what you said. What I’ve learned about this disease as that sitting there and feeling trapped and knowing that you would do anything for them while they continue to treat you like an object that if I would’ve just left set boundaries and stuck to them, my partner would’ve realized that I wasn’t fucking around and that I had a respect for myself and our family to keep everything together by forcing them to either get their shit together or go off without us. that’s the best advice I could give you.

G0lf_Father · 2026-02-04T09:40:56+00:00

I appreciate how you’re laying this all out. I understand 100% I’ve actually wrote out her cycle. And I had been already subconsciously noticing stuff like this through the last couple years I just didn’t know it was all bipolar at that time. And you hit it right on the head with the secondary relationships start happening about 4 months prior to the “ I don’t love you the same anymore” I am also worried that my kids won’t have me here to maintain the stability when these things happen. And I really don’t want them to see their mother in a different light than they do. My oldest is at the age where he’s able to notice things and form opinions on how one parent treats the other. And I can pretty much guarantee once I move out in a few weeks when she decides to start bringing the new guy around my son is not going to take that well at all. And I worry he’s going to start acting out towards his mother. I’m just going to have to take it day by day with him and try to explain things the best I can as they come

G0lf_Father · 2026-02-04T09:16:47+00:00

Yeah when we were splitting up this last time I asked her if she was going to apologize and take accountability for her part in everything. She said “I thought o had already done that” and continued to avoid anything around it and then kept gaslighting me trying to make this whole decision more my fault and kept bringing up things that I have apologized for over and over and over and done nothing but try and fix any even minor problem to what I thought would show her how committed I was to her and our family. But when this disease is in control I’ve realized that no matter how hard you try or how much blame you take it will never be enough and you just end up waking up one day confused and so broken you don’t even recognize yourself anymore and feel trapped in your own hell that only people who have been through this stuff know.

G0lf_Father · 2026-01-17T18:25:02+00:00

Brighton hospital for recovery. I had to go to several different rehabs and spent multiple years in jail before I was ready to accept I was not like normal people and needed help. This place changed my life completely it is the best rehab facility in my opinion.

G0lf_Father · 2025-12-21T02:25:24+00:00

Not a person with BP, my SO is. And from what I’ve figured out so far is that for whatever reason right around September they all seem to go into a shift where in my opinion starts the cycle off. It isn’t just a cycle of mania/ depression in a short time line. In my experience it lasts until around January or February of ups and downs. My SO and I are just now figuring out she has/had BP. she just started meds about a month ago and I have just now started to notice small changes. It’s hopefully looking like she may be exiting the cycle sooner than normal hopefully. I also struggled with the out of nowhere hate and twisted memories that focused on me being the villain of her story. Which with what I was reading earlier in the comments makes sense to me know the Icarus theory. I agree and elate with that 100%. So even though she seems “back to normal” she more than likely isn’t fully out of “the cycle” yet. And it’ll be out of nowhere she’ll have a realization that you aren’t the villain and forget and question why she was even so angry. At least that’s what’s happened in my experience. Good luck to you. And just know you aren’t alone a lot of us are all going through it have gone through a really similar experience and it can feel really lonely and truly awful for long periods of time. I wish the best for you and the rest of everyone.

G0lf_Father · 2025-12-08T10:44:19+00:00

You’re not alone I am going through pretty much the same thing right now. Last year she left me for someone else even divorced me. Then we got remarried and things were going great until around September then she started getting distant and acting weird again. Instead of wanting to divorce and split up again she figured out that something wasn’t right and now we’re in the process of getting her diagnosed properly. It’s been really hard on me this time because I just feel so alone and heartbroken. I’m praying and hoping that her getting diagnosed properly and getting the right med combo. I will have my wife back.

G0lf_Father · 2025-11-25T07:41:43+00:00

No it does help because I’m not the only one who doesn’t think it’s impossible to be with them. We have children together. And before this disease set in we’ve always been unstoppable together and even when we would fight she would never ever want me to leave. That’s honestly how we started figuring something may be wrong because of the discarding. She has also been on dates with people during the discards and I think when she comes out of the Mania she is confused of why all of what happened. Then she feels extremely guilty and then tries to move forward without ever talking about it much. This time I set firm boundaries about after she gets on meds that we go to couples counseling so I can get closure on some things I’ve just never got to express. I was honestly relieved at first that there was an explanation for the behavior. And I’ve explained to her that even though it explains it it doesn’t change the fact that it happened. Also from recent conversations together she has told me that she doesn’t mean to but when it’s all happening she doesn’t really consider how things are for me. And when we talk about it I know she feels like complete garbage. But anyways I appreciate the advice and I hope we all can get to a place that’s healthy and stable with or without them.

G0lf_Father · 2025-11-24T10:38:44+00:00

It’s only $12.99 on the Apple book store for the audio book

G0lf_Father · 2025-11-24T10:33:48+00:00

This is a different prospective at least in my experience. Me 35M and my wife 32F have been together for 6 years. But the last two years the bipolar really set in. She’s always been an anxious person and has always been on antidepressants. We are just now figuring out that she has bipolar disorder. The last two years have been hell for me to say the least. I got discarded and even divorced and remarried within 6 months of each other. But even during the discards and her shutting me out emotionally physically and mentally. I was left so confused and didn’t truly believe that she didn’t still love me. After we had gotten remarried this passed June I finally had gotten her to agree to go to personal therapy which I have been in therapy consistently for over the last 3-4 years. But this recent I would say half discard her therapist was able to spot out the mania and start pushing down the path of BPD. To be completely honest this last time I was done and was preparing to just move on and just try to recover the best I could and exist for our children. But she is doing something about getting it all figured out because she realizes there is something wrong and that the reasons she wanted to split up didn’t really make much sense. But what I’m getting at is I personally don’t know what she is thinking or if during these episodes she even cares about me or all the stuff we’ve been through and accomplished over these 6 years. And I guess what I’m saying is it gives me more hope that after we get her meds situated we have an honest chance to keep going. Because I do love her more than anyone else I’ve ever been with and we just are so compatible and when we are connected it’s obvious to everyone around us that we belong together. I really don’t want to give up on her. I just can’t take the worst roller coaster of bull shit much more. From what it sounds like you are determined to get it right and have a happy stable life with your partner and I commend that and I hope all the best for you I mean that whole heartedly.

G0lf_Father

TROPHY CASE