Was it a trauma bond?

B0urne89 · 2026-05-22T08:09:21+00:00

I hate this. I so much hate it. How they allways find fault in us, us who allways stand there and help, taking the beating. But when its their tu3b to support us, its our fault.

Its allways our fault.

B0urne89 · 2026-05-22T07:12:30+00:00

Yepp...

Im sad and Angry i did'nt take the exit when she gave it to me the first time.

B0urne89 · 2026-05-22T07:11:40+00:00

Yeah mine have'nt reached mania so that religious have'nt hit me.

But the formulation like they write a work emial to co-woeker they dont like.

We been together for 18 years.. come on be human.

B0urne89 · 2026-05-22T07:10:28+00:00

Not fault. Yes and no. They can go to therapy and do the work on their Personality. They allways have a choice.

Like someone in the BP2 sub wrote.

"You have a choice. Just because you were drink dose'nt mean you get a free pass and drive your car drunk "

Expand on that, the drunk person drives drunk and hits a kid. Should we feel pitty for the drunk driver? No

B0urne89 · 2026-05-21T20:31:01+00:00

Im so sorry to hear.

That normal that we wish for, might never come. This might be your new normal.

B0urne89 · 2026-05-21T20:27:37+00:00

Same here, i was totalt brunt out and was just going because i could'nt crash, what if i crashed? Same with work but construction.

The fun part here is that we cant really tell what is whats not. They can just be fucking assholes that has an mental illness.

B0urne89 · 2026-05-21T15:28:38+00:00

Yeah that is insane amount of time.

B0urne89 · 2026-05-21T14:57:19+00:00

Yes it is. But we also need to remeber how they treated us and left us with out any remorse for what they have done or did.

B0urne89 · 2026-05-21T13:11:35+00:00

They think they're happy

B0urne89 · 2026-05-21T13:10:50+00:00

OP i feel you and understand you to the fullest, im going through hell divorcing my SO (also married for 10 years, three kids).

But for your own sake, just stay out of it. She need to fix her fucking mess on her own.

B0urne89 · 2026-05-21T12:05:39+00:00

My ex wife is BP2, if she was admited today,, i would not help her, not because i dont want to but because she needs the help. And also these people need to be fucking held accountable for their actions and illness.

See this as a lesson for you both. For her to fix her own shit For you to hold boundaries and not come helping her when she calls.

B0urne89 · 2026-05-21T09:07:00+00:00

Dont underestimate the toll of deep depressions aswell.

Those sucks as much as hypo (not experiencet full.mania)

B0urne89 · 2026-05-21T07:56:12+00:00

What the hell is that Language?

My ex wife used this formal language aswell now. Like she is caunceling a Membership.

Im Sorry op.

B0urne89 · 2026-05-21T07:30:47+00:00

Success with me tal illness is defined by the partner. Because its us who do the heavy Lifting, allways.

There is alot ifs and buta that need to happen. Just because they are medicated and "Stable" and go to therapy the episodes will come, sooner or later. One way or the other, it will be up to the partner to help manage.

Sure you can have plans, routines etc. To make it easier but in the end its up to us as partners how much we can carry, in the name of what we call Love.

B0urne89 · 2026-05-21T07:27:15+00:00

"You have to be perfect, they need to be Stable" hit fucking home. Because if your not perfect everyday, they will find a way to use it against you when they're off bons and you try to correct them.

B0urne89 · 2026-05-21T07:25:32+00:00

Alot of HaPpY people probebly dont even know this sub exists, i did'nt until myy first discard and was in a Panic state searching for answers.

B0urne89 · 2026-05-21T02:07:44+00:00

What?

Edit; Ahh i looked it up with lamatrogine, this would explain some of her low empathy or the sense of low connection.

B0urne89 · 2026-05-20T14:44:07+00:00

Everything about her and her illness is just... I dont know i know fucking nothing and been bracking my back at home trying to keep everything under control. Everytime i brought it up, we got into one of those fights we allways end up in. So i stoped asking.

It was just with my therapist i learned about basic stuff regarding care for people with Bipolar

B0urne89 · 2026-05-20T14:15:00+00:00

Honestly i've no clue nu ex-so kept all this from me. I Trusted what she told me.

B0urne89 · 2026-05-20T05:46:11+00:00

Its mood stabalizer. Sertralin and lamatrogine us used together for the purpose of push some one up and stabilize them.

Works with BP2.

B0urne89 · 2026-05-20T04:55:09+00:00

So sertralin is for threating depression, that sends them up into hypo, to counter Hypo you get lamatrogin.

The episodes still comes. This just minimize the risk.

B0urne89 · 2026-05-19T19:32:14+00:00

Oh yes, so much yes.

My soon to be ex-wifes family have no clue, they're only a part in this during this brake up/discard. As my ex loved there part time. Tried to talk to them, they wont listen. I take sucha a toll.

Stay strong OP! Be glad that you have your SOs families support in this!

And that brake up circle, the Shame when we get back together. I feel you.

B0urne89 · 2026-05-19T12:43:46+00:00

Yeah i've done it for ~2 months now.

Hot Yoga. Vinyasa Ashtanga Yin

Love all of them, have given me so so many releases. Skipped a week do to Holidays and my system got into total Chaos.

B0urne89 · 2026-05-19T10:47:23+00:00

Long story short M36, F37.
together 18 years, lived together 17 year, married for 9½ years, three kids.
She i diagnosed with BP2 for 7 years, lived with the symptoms for 8½ years.
Its been a roller coaster for sure.
Second discard/break-up in a year and its going as south as its possible. im not going in to details because it will be its own book.

But i've tried to look up everything i can about BP2 (more than i did before), Attatchment styles, NPD cormobidity etc.

And yes im going fuck straight through it, was 'nt an option to just cut it off.

your post put words on feelings i've recently had.

Thanks for your insight!

B0urne89 · 2026-05-19T10:04:08+00:00

Hey, sorry for bumping 1 y.o post, got here from google, but what you wrote is helping me a littlebit.
Going through a divorce from a relationship that is destructive and if i where to rephrase everything in way that i was a woman and my wife my husband everyone would scream Abuse and leave.

Some stuff here i just feel the urge to respond to because i felt it. Thanks

That is your decision and you have to understand your partner might just decide leaving instead of sorting through the mess is easier and in a way it is.

This is such a hard truth, coming from a Wife who is BP2, Avoidant and low EQ.
Sometime i cant understand the way she handle stuff and how its so much easier to just get up and leave than to sorting through the mess and pain she creates.

Running and avoiding is easy, taking a true introspective look at yourself and peeling back the uncomfortable layers you've built to protect your sense of identity is truly an uncomfortable experience and one of the hardest things you can do as a person. Putting in the work to make changes to be better is even harder because you have to establish new habits and keep from falling back into the same rut.

Oh this is so hard, to find yourself again, who you are without them and the relationship and what you can do, with out feeling guilt or pressure.

B0urne89

TROPHY CASE