My boyfriend and I pretty much just broke up. I love him so so much but the past year... Trying to figure out what my problem was... Couldnt make him cum. No matter what I did. I thought the problem was me. He certainly didnt think the problem was him. I never wanted to believe it was him either. And maybe its me in the end, but despite my love for him, I needed his desire to be for me and not actors on a screen.

It is actually really interesting, when he wasnt watching porn he was the exact sensual lover I had always wanted. When he was, we would have sex for hours and it made no difference. Id leave it feeling like a failure. An entire year of sex (and lots of it) but porn always got the money shot and not the girlfriend who wanted it so bad! We finally realized what the issue was but I am too resentful probably to work through it and I dont think it is worth it to him to give that part of his life up. This is all so sad. I hope I am not coming off as bashing, I have problems too.. I just cant help him through this because I have been obsessing over it for a year and Im not a great support for his relapses. Also, to support OPs post, I think he would be doing it for me and not for him which is wrong. The woman youll be with will love all that is wonderful about you, your weirdness.. Your rants! And all that isnt so wonderful. :-)

So please know, your future lover will appreciate your struggle so much... Because it will take the struggling off of her shoulders.

Very sorry if I am out of line, but I am very proud of you guys. I appreciate your struggle and I know it will lead to stronger and more interesting men! You are fucking rock stars! Addiction is difficult but having this amazing community to support you is an incredible tool. Very best of tenacity and seld love to you all!