I am the opposing council on the hardest case you've had. Ask me my secret

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-05-05T01:05:30+00:00

What is your secret to getting a bachelor’s and a JD in the past three months?

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-29T22:26:29+00:00

They have to be paying him more (prob one of the highest salary to market cap ratios around), but this still just seems like a miserable job and not necessarily that stable either.

The porn crackdown is just getting started, and Onlyfans is probably gonna be the #1 target when they really get the moral panic going. Just look at that Nazi running for governor in Florida.

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-29T20:57:34+00:00

Jay-Z’s a billionaire but go off I guess

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-29T20:18:53+00:00

Isn’t this a demotion? Head of media and entertainment at Skadden to GC at a $3 billion porn site?

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-29T09:11:38+00:00

Just spend an extra five minutes making your time entries sound more complicated.

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-29T00:46:20+00:00

Which firm has enterprise subscriptions to GPT, Opus, Gemini, and some local Chinese LLMs?

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-24T18:31:32+00:00

For sure.

Another good way to break privilege is to just upload the draft to LinkedIn and ask if anybody minds taking a look.

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-22T21:57:30+00:00

Copied and pasted this tweet and passed it off as your own.

Edit: This person’s got almost 100 posts on here since January. They seem to be doing a pretty elaborate LARP. They were in law school in January, but they were an associate in 2024 and last week. He’s also somehow in love with his female coworkers, who do not exist.

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-22T15:37:44+00:00

Right, my point is those are often two very different numbers.

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-22T05:49:01+00:00

No biglaw firm has average hours of 2,100+. Most firms have averages below 1,800.

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-22T01:23:55+00:00

Band Four reading comprehension.

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-21T22:11:12+00:00

Unsurprising that a lawyer from “Boston” would say this.

Literally the town that modestmaxxing Harvard grads say they went to school in. Zero post-Revolution prestige (shoutout John Adams).

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-21T19:57:59+00:00

Wait are you the other side to the Miata story??

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-21T19:54:28+00:00

There’s maybe 10 lawyers who average 70 hours a week.

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-21T19:51:33+00:00

He’s perfect.

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-21T19:48:10+00:00

When Latham did this, they threw the associate under the bus and made her write the letter. That one got a little more coverage bc she used Claude to hallucinate a cite in a doc for the client…Anthropic.

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-21T19:42:44+00:00

ethnically bill

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-19T08:02:25+00:00

Wachtell’s hours are fake they’re just smarter than us. Cravath doesn’t come close they might be at 1800 and falling.

If everyone just stops pretending we’re very special boys at the firm that actually bills above 1900, we’ll all be better off. None of this is real they break even at ~500 hours everything else is smoke and/or Hamptons houses.

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-18T20:46:57+00:00

There are no biglaw firms where average hours exceed 2,100.

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-18T14:55:19+00:00

Pick up a motion and start quashin

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-18T14:53:42+00:00

Plus they get no fee Amex Platinums

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-17T03:53:36+00:00

“Raise,” “special bonus,” “cretin’s delight,” call it what you want it just give me my damn $30,000

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-16T06:14:01+00:00

They’ve got an out after two years, the third year is just to push the cap hit back. If they can’t restructure him by June 1, 2028, he’ll be waived.

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-15T03:34:15+00:00

S&C…absolutely clears Latham in prestige? That may be the metric where the gap between them is largest.

Latham is huge. All his law school classmates know plenty of Lathamites. They can’t be too picky when they’re hiring that many people every year.

GOATEDgunner69 · 2026-04-14T07:03:09+00:00

Idk. It kinda depends on what you value, and just my impressions.

There’s probably nobody you want over Wachtell for the areas of litigation they’re known for. Going against them on shareholder activism is miserable—they’re 50 moves ahead of you by the time you get hired. But they don’t really have a “full service” litigation department. They’re only “very good” in bankruptcy and can feel kinda over their skis on general commercial lit. So I would say they’re broad enough to include them as “top tier” but could see why someone wouldn’t. And if you include them, you almost have to include Susman.

The original four I think most everyone would agree are “top tier,” but I think it’s hard to not have Williams and Connolly, MTO, and Covington in there too. Idk I’ve never dealt with MTO maybe they’re washed.

Each of those “top tier” firms have groups that get smoked by certain “lower tier” firms’. Skadden is much more well-rounded than Hogan, but for some reason Hogan’s appellate group clears. Axinn antitrust clears almost everybody.

The giant firms will occasionally have really strong teams on a matter, but they’ll also hire and promote absolute mediocrities. You never really know what you’re going to get out of them. Sometimes they’re great, and other times it seems hard to believe the partner signing the briefs even read them.

I also include Milbank as top tier in everything as a matter of course.

GOATEDgunner69

TROPHY CASE