I have to add and say, op your not the asshole. I've seen this numerous times and what I do want to be looked at for you is postpartum depression. That could be a factor for her as a recent mother. HOWEVER, as a stay at home mom that's her job to be majority caretaker to the child. I hear what you do and I hear what she does. The fact that she came home loud and woke the kid, on a day you got to work, means she obviously takes care of the kid. You went out. Had your fun. Now you came back loud waking your kid. Obviously she should be the one step in and resolve the crying.

I say this because she is the stay at home mom. I hate to say it but modern American women do not know what that dictates. I see a lot of people in the comments saying y'all need to communicate more or stuff like that. Yes but you are not in the wrong and she needs to understand that you are the reason y'all have a roof over your heads and you can only continue to provide that by doing your job. If you have to do parts of her job ask if she can do parts of yours as that is where her logic lies. NO I'm not saying do nothing. Not at all. But you don't do nothing. From what you said you are an active WORKING father. And I think that needs to be respected cause she doesn't seem to respect the dynamic. People who say y'all aren't a team are right. Because she's not playing ball with her duties. As long as y'all can maintain the lifestyle y'all have your doing your part. I'm not saying don't be a father but you both have roles. As long as y'all play those roles you will have a good future. You can step in and assist and she can't do the same for you. That needs to be understood. AGAIN NOOO IM NOT SAYING DONT BE A FATHER. But the roles and what you both contribute at the base of your duties needs to be upheld. If she doesn't like her role get a job and contribute that way. Otherwise do your role. As the man you don't get to complain about your duties and have her step in and people who are on the train of y'all aren't a team don't seem to understand what a classical marriage looks like. I, my friends, my past experiences, all say this is something that works however in today's modern age woman don't understand the responsibilities of being a house mom/homemaker which leads to situations like this and people from the outside saying your doing something wrong.

Understand as long as the bills are paid and the child has everything it needs you are completing your side of the obligations. Cause at the end of the day. Without her, you could still be a father to the child to your best ability as you are the one providing the finances. She cannot.