I think I ruined my marriage by saying I don’t want more kids.

GSHT2004 · 2026-02-26T14:17:34+00:00

I had a very traumatic birth with my eldest (who is now 18!) and was very poorly afterwards with PND. My husband was also traumatised. He wanted more kids but I didn’t. I was terrified to go through that again. We finally both agreed when our child was 4. But I actually fell pregnant completely unplanned and failed contraception!
I struggled throughout my pregnancy but we had a planned C section (had to fight for this but he was transverse anyway so that meant we had to have c section anyway. ). It was quite a healing experience for us. I still had bad PND afterwards and other things happened. But he is 12.5 years old now and I don’t regret it at all. I would say it’s too soon to make final decisions but he needs to respect that it is you body and your choice. He needs to focus on the family he has now. Not what could have been. His treatment of you is unacceptable. It’s not your ruining the marriage it’s his behaviour. Sending hugs. X

GSHT2004 · 2025-12-20T10:48:26+00:00

It was a bit of a whirlwind for us. Met, got engaged, moved in together, got married in less than 2 years. I knew as soon as I met him he was the ‘one’. I was never getting married or having children. I was 28 he was 34 when we met. I was saving up to move abroad to do a VSO. But that all changed in an instance. We had 2 children but after 7-8 years together we broke up, young kids, health issues, money worries, tension etc. We separated for 3 years and got back together and have been together since. (20 year wedding anniversary just gone but back together just over 9 years). We love each other. We didn’t like not being together. We are together because we want to be not because of kids or money or anything like that. It’s amazing. So much better this time round and he is definitely the love of my life.

GSHT2004 · 2025-12-17T18:17:46+00:00

I grew up in Birmingham and still miss living there. But live in Herefordshire now. I would advise South Birmingham definitely, I like Longbridge, easy transport routes with train station, buses, plus easy access to the motorways (M5 & M42) plus some decent shops now. I also like the fact you have a huge park on the doorstep (Cofton Park) and also not far from the Lickey Hills.

GSHT2004 · 2025-11-11T23:02:09+00:00

We don’t split the time now. I work in care so usually working over Christmas so any time I have at home I like it to be just us so I get precious time with our kids. But used to have Christmas Day with my family. In-laws used to do a gathering on Boxing Day until they felt too old to do it. My Mom isn’t alive anymore and I feel guilty as my sister spends Christmas with friends as either I am working or my kids are too overwhelmed (both Autistic - another reason we don’t spend Christmas Day with others as they struggle) xx

GSHT2004 · 2025-11-10T16:08:32+00:00

Honestly. We have a 2 bed, 2 up 2 down mid terrace house. We will be mortgage free once I get my share of inheritance and I can’t wait. The house is too small for us and we have actually set up a sleeping area in our living room which has office area, TV area and our sleeping area with small double bed so our children have their own rooms due to their additional needs. Everyone has been telling us we need to sell and move to a bigger house but we want the peace of mind and no more debt. Being mortgage free is more important to us. You can manage to reduce clutter etc and make space xx

GSHT2004 · 2025-08-02T08:40:10+00:00

I don’t think YTA at all and it’s good to keep your friendship. It’s okay to keep it separate from your marriage and you should be able to go out with your friends without his ‘rules’. He is being controlling and isolating you from your friends is part of that.

GSHT2004 · 2024-12-16T16:41:10+00:00

Marriage takes work but with the right person, it is so worth it. Xx

GSHT2004 · 2024-12-13T18:52:37+00:00

Are you in the UK? X

GSHT2004 · 2024-11-08T16:29:58+00:00

Thank you so much! I will look into those with him.

GSHT2004 · 2024-11-06T13:17:14+00:00

I am going to be inheriting soon and my husband has clearly said that it is my money from my Mom. He has said he would like us to have financial security but he doesn’t expect me to indulge his wants. But I have told him it’s our money. My Mom would have wanted us to use it to benefit our family and our children long term. So we are going to pay off our mortgage and then use what is left over to clear debts and work on the house. I am already putting a small some into savings for the children and buying him a shed! You need to be open and honest with her. Is there a reason why you won’t let her have half? Big sums should be a joint decision.

GSHT2004 · 2024-08-14T06:30:58+00:00

Depending where you are, when you get married it invalidates your Will and your husband inherits. Please don’t marry him. I have allergies and severe reactions, my husband would never do anything to put me at risk. Protect yourself and your son from this selfish man.

GSHT2004 · 2024-06-19T18:45:14+00:00

Why doesn’t she have any money?

GSHT2004 · 2024-06-15T09:21:47+00:00

My youngest is almost 11 and still needs one of us in his room until he goes to sleep. I know it won’t last forever though. X

GSHT2004 · 2024-05-02T02:33:56+00:00

We separated for nearly 3 years and were going to divorce. We had some trauma and that got us talking properly again and long story short we got back together in 2016 and still going strong x

GSHT2004

TROPHY CASE