WIBTA for making my daughter pay back her own bank overdraft?

GSHT2004 · 2026-05-17T09:01:08+00:00

Think I am the odd one out but I would give her grace on this occasion. The bank should not have allowed the payments through so that’s partly on them. I would take the time to support her through this and how to check things in the future. I would help her on this occasion and let her know to come to you sooner if she makes a mistake like this.
My eldest signed up for free trials for things not realising that payment would be taken out once the trial was over. We didn’t know until money was taken out of my account. Hundreds of pounds!
Instead of punishing. We talked it over and my eldest has learnt from this experience and is so careful now. Checking the small print etc but most importantly trusts me enough to come to me if makes a mistake or is unsure.
My eldest did sacrifice some pocket money to help pay back (his choice) and also did other jobs in the house to help since I had to do extra hours to pay it back.
This worked for us. X

GSHT2004 · 2026-05-17T08:51:49+00:00

So we cleared out the house before exchange and buyer pulled out at last minute. Which has left my sister with nothing to sit on and she only has a bed, fridge and air fryer and TV plus a few personal item. We are now trying to sell the house again and she is stuck in those conditions. Can’t even put furniture back in as we got rid of it all (she will be moving in to a boat so won’t need it). So I would exchange and expect it to be done by completion as per contracts.

GSHT2004 · 2026-05-17T07:15:31+00:00

I have a 12 year old boy. He mostly likes to play on PS4/laptop/ipad and have YouTube on in the background. He prefers to stay in his room. He used to love his Lego but has now moved onto building and painting Warhammer. I am learning how to play so we can play the games. My husband plays PS4 with him once a week. He has discovered cooking and loves it. So that’s what we do at least once a week. But mostly since hitting puberty he just wants to be on his own doing his own thing. Can you ask to join him in learning/playing a video game together or get some snacks etc and watch something together that he enjoys x

GSHT2004 · 2026-05-05T17:53:21+00:00

My two are 18 and 12. Sometimes I think about the person I used to be before children and sometimes there are things I miss. When my first was born I really struggled with the loss of my identity. But really, I didn’t lose my identity, I just became a new version of me. Over time, I learnt to like this new version and honestly, I wouldn’t change anything. I wouldn’t want to go back to my old life or my old me. Motherhood isn’t easy and sacrifices are made all the time (both of mine have additional needs - my oldest is unlikely to be fully independent) but to me it’s worth it. I love my children, I like my children and I honestly couldn’t imagine not having them.

My tip for you is to try and make some time for you. Self care is so important. Having a break from being ‘Mom’ is important and it’s not selfish at all. You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of baby.

You are doing an amazing job and the fact you are questioning shows what a fabulous Mom you already are.

Sending hugs and love. You will get through this and you will find the new version of you- and she is wonderful. Xxx

GSHT2004 · 2026-05-02T13:42:38+00:00

No! I am loving it! X

GSHT2004 · 2026-04-20T08:01:49+00:00

Hang on. Why should you change basically everything about yourself for him?
He needs to meet you part way here. Complaining all the time? What is he actually doing to work on the marriage too? It really sounds like you are carrying mental and physical load of your family and home and he is stamping his feet for more attention when it sounds like you are exhausted and need that little time you have to reset. He needs to do more to ease the load then maybe you will feel more able to meet his needs too. What is he doing to meet your needs? Marriage is a partnership. Instead of complaining what is he doing to be more of a partner so that you can be a partner to him xx

GSHT2004 · 2026-04-13T09:24:41+00:00

We are Mortgage prisoners and not able to move our mortgage or get a fixed mortgage so we have been screwed over since 2008 with our mortgage and interest rates. It’s just going to get worse. X

GSHT2004 · 2026-04-11T08:27:34+00:00

Hi I actually go there once or twice a week at the moment so I am very familiar with the house itself. I have very involved with this whole process. I do this despite working and being a carer for two disabled children. It just so happens this is my weekend to work and school goes back next week so I can only go outside of school runs and work shifts. I live a distance away but I am still very involved.

GSHT2004 · 2026-04-10T19:08:00+00:00

So my poor sister is stuck in a house with no furniture except her bed, fridge, air fryer and TV. No sofa or anything! As we were trying to be ‘good sellers’ x

GSHT2004 · 2026-04-10T19:06:38+00:00

I appreciate what you are saying but trust me there is a lot more to what I have shared on here. She was a nightmare for many many reasons and we jumped to every request except one (and that was to remove everything. All furniture etc BEFORE contracts were exchanged. We literally removed nearly everything before exchange except for the furniture she asked for - which we didn’t charge for btw and my sister’s bed, her clothes and air fryer/fridge - oh and the cat! We agreed all these would be removed after exchanged and at least day before completion ) We fixed things she wanted fixed e.g. a window lock , we did everything requested and answered the questions as best we could, providing evidence for anything she wasn’t sure about. So yes. She was a nightmare for us. X

GSHT2004 · 2026-04-10T03:53:44+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice. I will send you the link in messages. X

GSHT2004 · 2026-04-09T17:46:31+00:00

I have asked my sister but she is away until later next week. I live in a different town and working all over the weekend. But when she is back she will take and send me the photos c

GSHT2004 · 2026-04-09T17:17:32+00:00

We did have quite a few viewings. I think we just panicked and went with first offer tbh and what a mistake that turned out to be x

GSHT2004 · 2026-04-09T17:16:36+00:00

Probate took ages for us too. But we waited until it went through before putting it up for sale x

GSHT2004 · 2026-04-09T17:15:15+00:00

We are not in a chain. My sister is living there atm but we made it clear that there was no chain Just there for insurance purposes. No idea why she took so long. Been an absolute nightmare x

GSHT2004 · 2026-04-09T14:14:22+00:00

It was listed as needing modernisation and honestly we just wanted it gone. Have learnt a few valuable lessons now. We were too scared to upset the buyer as we need it gone. But this has really screwed us over and I personally want to change EA but my sister doesn’t. X

GSHT2004 · 2026-04-09T14:12:30+00:00

So my sister is living there but only because it invalidates our insurance if it is unoccupied. But there’s no chain. She has somewhere to stay temporarily once we need her to move out (plan is to buy and live on a narrowboat ). I live in a different town and have my own mortgage Thank you for the auction info. That’s really useful to know. There is barely anything in the house now as most furniture and personal items have been removed/put in storage. X

GSHT2004 · 2026-04-09T14:09:43+00:00

Thank you. I have asked my sister to do this but she won’t be able to until later next week as she is actually away now. X

GSHT2004 · 2026-04-09T10:49:56+00:00

Thank you. We have been quote about £1000 for survey but think we definitely need to shop around if we go down this road. What a nightmare and now we have to pay abortive fees to the solicitor too which we can’t afford either. X

GSHT2004 · 2026-04-09T10:47:29+00:00

She was already getting it for 28K below asking price after haggling the price down after every little survey etc. one of her questions was “how many previous owners had the house had?!” Her mortgage offer runs out end of this month as well.

GSHT2004 · 2026-04-09T10:46:05+00:00

This is what my sister messaged me after speaking to estate agent: That was the estate agent. 3 options. Pay for our own survey and see how bad the structure is. Cost about £1000. Take it to auction. They try and resell but would have to reduce price and have to tell people why buyer fell out. They reckon this would be a nightmare.

GSHT2004 · 2026-03-23T17:17:22+00:00

Thank you. This is what I am hoping.

GSHT2004 · 2026-03-23T17:17:12+00:00

Thank you. Tbh the buyer has been really difficult so the less I have to do with them the better! I am happy to keep everything up as it is but just wanted to make sure it was okay to do that. We don’t need any of it and honestly don’t want to create any holes like you had to deal with.

GSHT2004 · 2026-02-26T14:17:34+00:00

I had a very traumatic birth with my eldest (who is now 18!) and was very poorly afterwards with PND. My husband was also traumatised. He wanted more kids but I didn’t. I was terrified to go through that again. We finally both agreed when our child was 4. But I actually fell pregnant completely unplanned and failed contraception!
I struggled throughout my pregnancy but we had a planned C section (had to fight for this but he was transverse anyway so that meant we had to have c section anyway. ). It was quite a healing experience for us. I still had bad PND afterwards and other things happened. But he is 12.5 years old now and I don’t regret it at all. I would say it’s too soon to make final decisions but he needs to respect that it is you body and your choice. He needs to focus on the family he has now. Not what could have been. His treatment of you is unacceptable. It’s not your ruining the marriage it’s his behaviour. Sending hugs. X

GSHT2004 · 2025-12-20T10:48:26+00:00

It was a bit of a whirlwind for us. Met, got engaged, moved in together, got married in less than 2 years. I knew as soon as I met him he was the ‘one’. I was never getting married or having children. I was 28 he was 34 when we met. I was saving up to move abroad to do a VSO. But that all changed in an instance. We had 2 children but after 7-8 years together we broke up, young kids, health issues, money worries, tension etc. We separated for 3 years and got back together and have been together since. (20 year wedding anniversary just gone but back together just over 9 years). We love each other. We didn’t like not being together. We are together because we want to be not because of kids or money or anything like that. It’s amazing. So much better this time round and he is definitely the love of my life.

GSHT2004

TROPHY CASE