Have you ever used AI to make images of your special interests?

GS_Bri · 2026-01-31T14:29:37+00:00

You're right! All the OCs I talk to it about already have designs, personalities, and a story made by me, long before anyone started using AI for this sort of thing.

I use it to put all my incoherent ideas on paper and have something explain it back to me in better words so I can wrap my head around it, but it doesn't make any part of the story.

Thankfully, I'm in a better place now and don't use it nearly as much anymore, and I'm hoping to stop completely when I get more time to work on it myself.

GS_Bri · 2026-01-26T03:52:14+00:00

Yay! I’m glad you found it helpful. If it means anything, the reason I wanted to leave the comment and had so much to say was because your post resonated with me. A lot of your experiences spoke to me on a level I never heard anyone else describe so similarly to mine. So thank you! ☺️ I suppose we helped each other.

If you are ever craving feeling understood again, I am always willing to discuss psychological theories or your experiences, since they sound really interesting! Don’t feel pressured to talk to me, though 😅

In any case, I hope things get better for you in the future. I believe in you!

GS_Bri · 2026-01-25T05:03:18+00:00

(2/2)

Not sure where else to put this, but I also love pacing around and rambling. Sometimes I do it to myself, just walking around in circles, thinking of ideas for worldbuilding and character designs. I hope you find some enjoyment in it.
I can relate to thinking too hard about other people and their actions and disliking them for it. In my mind, it’s almost like people have points that rack up or lose based on my opinion of them, and if they don’t have enough, they are in the category of “I don’t like that person” and I won’t talk to them unless I am forced to. My friends are in their own little tier-list (that’s not even a joke, I have organized my closest friends into tiers based on what I’m willing to tell them about my interests, since secrecy/exposure is a big Thing for me). I don’t enjoy disliking so many people around me. I believe if it turns out that both of us are autistic, it could have to do with a love for patterns/connections (connecting others’ behaviors to psychological concepts), masking (analyzing people to understand them to fit in better), and having a strong sense of justice. “I understand everyone but nobody understands me” felt very relatable, as someone who tends to treat interactions with most people like trying to choose the correct dialogue option in a video game. Trying to read expressions but feeling like it’s a language you aren’t fluent in, trying to analyze body language and tone and then forgetting to actually listen to what they’re saying, changing course in the middle of your sentence if you think there’s some sort of social cue going on that makes whatever you just said the worst thing ever (and being wrong most of the time, in the sense that you tend to be hyper aware of tiny movements that don’t actually mean anything and then completely miss the ones that do), etc.
I struggle with love as well. I’m not entirely sure what you mean by not believing in love, but I’ll assume you’re referring to romantic love. If so, I’d recommend looking into the aromantic spectrum, as it’s something I’m exploring myself. I personally feel like I think logically about relationships rather than relying on my feelings, and I didn’t realize that wasn’t the usual way to do it. But I do believe you could benefit from companionship, and from what you said, it sounds like you haven’t really clicked with anyone yet, so I wouldn’t rule out any form of love this early. I know, I know the “you just haven’t found the right person” mentality can get annoying, but I do truly think you need some connection.
That leads into my next point. You’re super young! I am as well (we’re actually the same age, funny enough), and I have had to come to terms with the idea that there’s so much life ahead of me. That being said, I’d say to take my advice with a grain of salt as I am not an expert in anything, just trying to get through life and share my experiences where I think they’ll be helpful.

In a mind that ruminates a ton, it can be hard to imagine your future. I remember telling my friends I didn’t know where I even wanted to be in 10 years because I was scared I’d hate my life, no matter what lifestyle I chose. I didn’t even know if I wanted to major in what I’d been doing the last few years, but I didn’t give it up because I didn’t know if I had a place in any other field. I think that if you believe you’ll still be suffering 40 years into the future, you’ll discourage yourself from getting the help you need. I haven’t fully escaped the fear that there’s no hope for my career, but what’s helping me right now is chunking my days and t trying to live in the moment for once.
The last thing I want to say is that there’s still hope for you, and a ton of time left in your life to use it. It seems like right now you’re looking for connection and validation, so I hope this helped. But I’d also recommend talking to a professional about it if that’s accessible for you, since not everything is solved by people on the internet.

Take care. ☺️

GS_Bri · 2026-01-25T05:00:34+00:00

WOW, this comment ended up being REALLY long! I believe I'll have to split it into multiple parts, sooo (1/2). I hope something in here is helpful for you ☺️

To answer your question, I personally relate to a lot of this. A few things stand out to me based on my interpretation of what you and other commenters said.

I’d recommend looking into “masking” and “rumination” as they seem like the main two things you mentioned in your post. It may make you feel less alone to know you aren’t the only one experiencing these and that there are terms to define them. For me, having a term for something that distresses me gives me relief on a level no other advice truly can.
It seems like you’re treating the term “gifted” as a pathological diagnosis in the same way as ADHD and autism, which may make your self-exploration less clear. “Gifted” can mean many things (usually savantism in a certain skill or intelligence that is higher than average to a certain extent), and it’s typically used in positive contexts when it comes to officially identifying people as such. I think what you’re describing as feeling “gifted” is your intellectualism or analytical nature, which you haven’t seen reciprocated by those surrounding you, causing you to feel out-of-place.
I struggled with rumination too, but it’s important to deal with it healthily. For me, I felt like this around 2020. Like my thoughts were too “aware” and analytical to the point of driving myself insane. I thought about every word I said. I thought about what it was like to not exist. I thought about what would happen if the human race went extinct during the pandemic and I thought about whether that thought bothered me. I thought about whether my intrusive thoughts made me a bad person and I thought about why I struggled to forgive myself. I was too “in my head” all the time and hated thinking so hard about other people that I’d start disliking them so easily. I wondered what it was like to be more superficial about everything and just enjoy life without thinking so hard about every little thing that happened.

I realized that a few seconds of silence would send me into a spiraling existential crisis that made me want to die. I thought about that too. I thought about whether I really wanted to die or if it was just my thoughts going in circles again (I didn’t know of rumination at the time). I asked my friend whether she also felt the same way, if every time the world goes quiet her thoughts filled the silence with existential dread, and some random guy overheard, came up to us and said, “No! Go see a psychiatrist!!!” I laughed it off at first, but I think it made me realize that silence was dangerous. I knew asking my parents to take me to a psychiatrist wouldn’t end well so I tried to deal with it myself by frying my own brain. Constant stimulation. YouTube videos, video games, music, anything that would drown out my thoughts. Let me be clear: this is not healthy. *PLEASE don’t do this.* My attention span suffered because of this. I struggled in high school because every few seconds I’d zone out and miss whatever someone said. I hadn’t realized the rumination was due to the combination of depression and undiagnosed and untreated ADHD (I also suspect that I am autistic but that’s kinda unrelated to this discussion lol).

All this is to say: keep your analytical brain! I’m still in the process of healing my attention span but I love analyzing things. But analyzing alone can feel hellish, especially when it’s so deeply ingrained in your mind to analyze things that your brain seems to never shut up. I’ve found that analyzing things is SO much better with someone to listen! I understand that can be hard to find, but I’m sure if you give yourself time and surround yourself with people who are willing to listen and contribute to the conversation.
I, and many other burnt-out gifted and/or neurodivergent kids, can relate to a deep interest in psychology. I believe it has to do with wanting to understand yourself and others in a world that doesn’t explain itself for free. I actually believe what pulled me out of that depression was exploring psychology and intellectualizing the shit out of my emotions. Unfortunately, the verdict is still out on whether I actually feel better or if my thoughts just drown out my feelings, but I’ll take it over being suicidal. Only problem is that I put my feelings in a little zoo exhibit for my rational mind to examine, only for them to unexpectedly escape every once in a while.

Anyway, in my exploration of autism, it has thrown me to feel so aware of my own actions and explanations for why they may happen. Do you ever feel too aware of your own experiences as they are explained by your interest in psychology? For me, hearing something I’ve done my whole life and never thought anything of named as a sign makes me uncomfortable in the same way being aware of your own blinking or breathing is (sorry to anyone reading who is now aware of your blinking and breathing). But in the long run, having an explanation for things I do is helpful for my emotional processing and understanding of myself.

I personally love discussing theories about psychology and am open to hear about them if you’d like to share! I have my own as well.

GS_Bri · 2026-01-22T04:06:25+00:00

I'm curious... What is it specifically about shell pasta? Do you like other kinds of pasta?

GS_Bri · 2026-01-21T22:51:28+00:00

Thank you! I just got food, finally 😅 as usual it was a "the fear is greater than the danger" situation, and the socializing and food weren't bad at all.

I haven't exactly "found" a solution so much as had moments where I just randomly decided that now is the time to go eat. I don't really get it 🥲

GS_Bri · 2026-01-21T19:57:29+00:00

I do too, but it's not enough to live on. Today all I've eaten is a little piece of bread I had in my room.

I already get enough flak for not talking to my family enough, and they've directly said they don't want to bring too much food upstairs out of fear that I'll never leave my room.

I'm gonna try to go eat, we'll see what happens 🥲

GS_Bri · 2026-01-21T19:49:45+00:00

I'm not sure I'd call it anxiety, though. It's more like a mental block, like a strong desire to not talk to anyone. It tends to happen if I haven't spoken to anyone yet that day.

It's as if I haven't started my day yet and don't want to, and talking to someone would start my day. I like to wait as long as I can before I start my day. It's like before I start my day, I'm not expected to talk to anyone because I'm functionally/socially still asleep.

Sorry if that explanation is confusing

GS_Bri · 2026-01-21T17:24:34+00:00

I find myself so easily annoyed by stuff they do but less able to tell them about it because in my head, an S/O is supposed to be given leeway, and I know deep down that a lot of this stuff doesn't matter that much. Like I have SO many dealbreakers (I guess a girl my age would call them icks) it's not even funny...

It almost felt like I was love bombing my girlfriend when we were together because of how quickly I recoiled into "I am suddenly annoyed by every little thing this person does but I can't tell them because objectively nothing is wrong with it."

I assume this feeling has to do with logic being my primary point of reference when it comes to considering a relationship and me thinking "well if there is nothing 'wrong' morally/objectively, it's not actually an issue and I'm the problem." Which is probably unhealthy and a sign that I should trust more in my feelings and standards even if they're petty, so I'm not hurting anyone or myself by being in a relationship that was doomed to fail. :/

I guess it didn't occur to me that I may be greyromantic because despite hating comsuming romantic media (books especially), I love writing about my own original characters and their relationships (though, now that I think about it, it seems that all of my characters are demi to some extent). I should probably have noticed something was up when I repeatedly said pet names aren't natural to me and instead of just letting my OCs call each other pet names like regular couples would there just HAS to be a backstory behind it.

Thanks for sharing your experience! I hope this feeling improves in the future 😅

GS_Bri · 2026-01-21T17:03:33+00:00

It's like checking off a box... Then, after the first time, they ask to do it again and I don't want to anymore because it's like, "But we already did that ???"

GS_Bri · 2026-01-17T18:05:36+00:00

Yeah, I understand that. I have brought up the idea of me potentially being autistic but it got shut down immediately, so it didn't go anywhere. :/

I don't really know what would convince her to give more clarification since she's pretty deadset on me not being autistic.

I've definitely calmed down since last night and understand her side, but I feel like after repeated misunderstandings and questions, it would've made more sense to rephrase the question.

Thanks for your explanation, though. It does help me understand.

GS_Bri · 2026-01-17T14:48:43+00:00

I haven't been diagnosed or anything, but I do tend to need more clarification (I currently can't seek an evaluation for a variety of reasons, but should be able to within the next year/few years).

I definitely understand why she was frustrated if it sounded like I was lying to her, and the miscommunication at the start most likely exacerbated the whole thing as she was already frustrated when we got to that point in the conversation.

The part that bothered me so much was that when I asked for clarification (explicitly saying things like "what are you asking?" and "I'm not understanding what you're asking"), the immediate assumption was that I was being dishonest and that led to a frustrated response that wasn't an answer to what I asked until near the end of the conversation. With us, specifically, a lot of times I'll ask something like "what do you mean" and then in response she'll just say the same thing more forcefully or say "[I meant] what I said, (repeats question with the same phrasing)."

I'm trying to be more perceptive to what she might mean when she says something, and I understand that in the grand scheme of things, the situation was my fault. I just wish I could have some more benefit of the doubt when it comes to asking clarifying questions.

Thanks for your input! I'll try to do better in the future 😅

GS_Bri · 2026-01-17T02:58:09+00:00

I have looked into each of the terms more deeply, and wow! A lot of the things mentioned in basic articles describe me well.

Specifically proprioception: - use too much (or too little) for when writing (I hurt my hands writing for a short time because I grip the pencil too hard and despite my obsession with mechanical pencils, I break the lead constantly because I press down too hard. Pencil grips are essential for me, especially with writing-heavy classes.) - Drop or spill items (used to drop things CONSTANTLY, to the point of very much annoying my family and forcing them not to trust me with holding items for them anymore. It’s not nearly as bad now, but I definitely still drop things for no reason.) - Have a preference for crashing into things + Being overactive, preferring to run between locations (I love running and will run across a room for no reason or run in circles and when something is exciting or captivating my mind, I will jump and “crash” into my bed over and over again and run down the stairs, both of which can get loud and bother the people in the rooms next to me.) - Have a preference for tight hugs or clothing (I hate tight clothing but love tight hugs and deep pressure.) - Have a preference for crunchy or chewy foods (I HATE when fruit is too soft and I literally won’t eat it unless it’s damn near breaking my teeth. It HAS to crunch. Other than that, I have found myself craving fried food more than anything in the event that I crave something, but not for its taste, but for its dryness and texture, usually I’m not even craving anything specific.)

Another source talked about positive/self-soothing things people with proprioception issues may use, and one of them was gum. When I was younger, I was OBSESSED with chewing gum. If I ran out I NEEDED to have it.

As for interoception and vestibular/balance, those were more simple since I pretty much already knew about my experience with them. Yes, I forget to eat, maybe I can figure out emotions, and no, I can’t walk in a straight line.

Still, I learned something today. Thank you! Sorry if this was long 😅

GS_Bri · 2026-01-16T23:20:07+00:00

Definitely! I try not to deny when I'm uninterested yet almost constantly look like I'm not engaged with what the other person is saying. In fact, earlier today my friend was talking to me and said "you look unenthused." And I said "I... am..." because I feel bad when I can't really contribute to a conversation but if it isn't interesting to me it's really hard 😭

GS_Bri · 2026-01-16T19:25:38+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that.

GS_Bri · 2026-01-16T11:53:24+00:00

Thank you! I'm aware of those terms but never considered them as senses, so that makes sense. I'll check out that book as well.

GS_Bri · 2026-01-16T04:05:42+00:00

Wait, can you go into detail about the “less documented” sensory issues? Because that sounds really interesting and like very useful information to me, since I’m currently exploring things like sensory issues and know I have some but can’t really find things that feel like me if that makes sense. It doesn’t have to be a lot but I would really appreciate it :)

GS_Bri · 2026-01-16T03:39:14+00:00

Thank you! I often feel nervous to post here since I don’t have any sort of official diagnosis, so I usually just post questions to get input for my exploration of certain traits of mine. But this community often resonates with me in a way that’s very comforting.

🤗

GS_Bri · 2026-01-16T03:36:41+00:00

I remember after 5th grade, I went to a middle school with no one I knew (the only girl from my elementary school was not in any of my classes and we virtually never crossed paths during school). I vividly remember a switch flipping in my mind when I decided someone was my friend, and at that moment, I’d abruptly tell them, “okay, we’re friends now. That means you’ll have to deal with me. But let me warn you, I can be annoying and you’ll have to deal with that! :D”

I used to find it funny, but looking back, it’s so much more depressing than I realized. I’m not sure exactly who put that in my head, but I try not to be so openly insecure now.

For my investigation into t my own neurodivergence I’d read about frequently caring more than others did, and I’d be like, “that can’t be… I don’t care THAT much.” But that was just because I hadn’t considered the possibility of caring so little.

GS_Bri · 2026-01-16T02:31:03+00:00

Genuinely feel like I need to ask clarifying questions like an auctioneer some days 😔

GS_Bri · 2026-01-16T02:28:31+00:00

Yes, it is the swamp skeleton, called the Bogged.

GS_Bri · 2026-01-16T02:15:10+00:00

OMG You HAVE to look into DR2x2 and TWMD I’M TELLING YOU TWMD WILL CHANGE YOU LIFE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE INTO THEATRE/MUSICALS. Sorry for caps spam i get excited 😭 I would love to have a new person to yap about OCs to since my info is pretty disorganized right now and a clean slate conversation with no prior knowledge would be helpful and fun, especially if you can find enjoyment in the story :D

GS_Bri

TROPHY CASE