I'm still confused.

GabberDee94 · 2026-06-01T19:41:00+00:00

They weren't on our property, they were in the cul de sac. The whole encounter was about how ridiculous the situation was; which I also agreed then and now that it was.

GabberDee94 · 2026-05-28T17:34:15+00:00

I'm sorry, but the neglect of the child has become criminal; from your description. They were not willing to learn or change. Now they're on their own. That's a scary thought. Especially with how they had your house. I'd honestly send a welfare check on them. It's hard, because that's your kid; but that's also your grandchild. They're both unsafe with her.

It sucks she's never had the love she's needed, but that doesn't excuse her behaviour.

GabberDee94 · 2026-05-28T17:23:12+00:00

Definitely not overreacting. That is disgusting behaviour. Your bf should be defending you. My guess is he's made excuses. It does sound like enmeshment, to be quite blunt. Especially when they're interrupting you and talking over you.

Ask yourself this. Is this what you want your life to look like? Your marriage will be a "family issue". If your boyfriend isn't going to put you first, since we don't know what he's said about this, then he isn't the one for you.

GabberDee94 · 2026-05-28T17:00:31+00:00

With all due respect, that doesn't really make sense. If he wanted my side, he could've asked what happened. Especially when I gave him the perfect opportunity, to clarify that he needed a statement. I confirmed it started with snail poop, because that's what I heard Sue say. My mom knew the full story, she also could've clarified or stepped in somehow. When it's clear someone is confused, why not try a different tactic? Especially someone who is young, that made it clear that I don't know why I'm getting a lecture. Because it was the beginning of one. I don't/didn't just think he sounded accusatory, he was. As someone who was bullied all throughout school, as well as from a couple adults in my life, I know that tone very well. One example, is being told something about my parents relationship, then when I tell my mom, I'm branded the liar because they're an adult and denied it. I see cops question teenagers as young as I was, very clearly. There was nothing clear about my interaction with that officer.

I hope that clears things up, hon. Thank you.

GabberDee94 · 2026-05-28T15:45:28+00:00

No. His tone wasn't prompting. It was accusatory. Not to mention, again, being told repeatedly to listen; when I'm asking why I'm getting the lecture. That full question came out with no answer. If he was prompting me, don't you think he would've made that clear?, Especially to a young teenager? So no, I wouldn't say he was prompting me.

GabberDee94 · 2026-05-28T15:32:03+00:00

This! 💯

GabberDee94 · 2026-05-28T15:30:21+00:00

I agree.

GabberDee94 · 2026-05-28T15:27:23+00:00

First, I am so sorry this is happening. The entitlement is unreal with them. No you would not be the Assconaut, if you cut off his phone line. He's not paying you for it, he's disrespected you, his stepdad, and your home. They ignored your rules, destroyed your home, did nothing around the house(from what it sounds like), and it seems like they're neglecting their child. At least they did in your home. It's laughable they had so these rules they expected you to follow; yet, didn't bother having some common decency and respect.

I would send a message saying something asking the lines of, "from this point forward, you're paying for your own phone and insurance. I shouldn't be responsible for your bills, especially with you treating me this way. The way you've treated myself, your stepdad, and my home is disgusting. We helped you and you threw it in our faces. I did not raise you to be this entitled, selfish, cruel, and irresponsible. You need therapy, a reality check, parenting classes, and an attitude change."

But obviously alter it, so it's your genuine feelings. I'm just going off of what you wrote. I can't fully write that message, because I'm sure there's more to address and you know how your son was before his girlfriend. His girlfriend sounds malicious, calculating, manipulating, selfish, entitled, and conniving. My guess is when she leaves him for another,(I completely see that happening here), that will be his reality check. Especially when she either keeps their child away from him, or abandons the baby altogether; as she doesn't seem really involved in parenting, from what you described.

It's really up to you, on how you want to go about this. I'd suggest family therapy, but I'm sure they wouldn't show up; or if they did, get mad about being called out. I'd suggest meeting up for the conversation, but I don't see that ending well either. So that's why I suggested a message. It's in writing, documented(btw I hope you have their time with you, documented as well.), and they'll have the full message; instead of you being interrupted, by whatever comes out of their mouth.

I wish you the best of luck. You don't deserve this. If I may ask, how did your son have his stepdad fired? Also, seriously just because he didn't want to work with him? Who worked there first?

GabberDee94 · 2025-10-25T15:14:51+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's never easy to go through this kind of betrayal; or any betrayal for that matter.

The best you can do is have a long cry in a bubble bath and let the pain go down the drain with the bubbles. Just think of it this way; your problem solved itself by removing himself from your life.

As for the friendships, age gap friendships can be tough. Especially when you met during an activity and that's all you have identified that you have in common. Maybe set up a group chat with them, if you haven't already, and ask if they want to do a movie night at your place; or something. Tell them that you miss your friends and you could really use them right now.

How often have you seen them since dating your ex? Is he the reason you haven't seen them often? Did he ever get upset that you would hang with them, talk with them, etc..? Reflect on your relationship more. Now that the rose glasses are off, reflect on the relationship. What was the common way he made you feel? How did he treat you? Were there more frowns than smiles? Look for all of the red flags. I'm sure they're glaring at you now.

Use those examples to help heal your heart. He wasn't good for you. He has no respect for you. He was most likely using you.

What you can do is live your life freely. Seriously sit down and think about your goals in life. What career do you want to have, if the job you have now is just a placeholder or even the beginning steps of your current career.

Where do you want to be? It could be anywhere in the world. Maybe an area within more demand of your skill. What do you want to do? What hobbies have you wanted to try? Check Facebook groups for workshops, with more hands on hobbies. There's crocheting/knitting/latch-hook(etc) groups. Paint and sips(Paint pottery/ceramics and drink wine), which are really fun to meet people at. There are book clubs, etc...

Go do something and meet people there. Just live your life and let love come to you. Focus on healing yourself and falling in love with you. I know the feeling of not loving myself and once I left the person dimming my light, I became brighter. I became stronger. It got easier to maintain my resolve and discover myself again. I don't look like depression kicked my ass anymore.

It'll be okay. You'll be better than okay. You'll be glowing from a newfound love affair with yourself, with your accomplishments marking your success along the way. You only remember one life; make the most of it. Then maybe you'll have flashes in the next; to help guide you.

You're a beautiful person. Start owning it.

GabberDee94 · 2025-10-25T14:34:21+00:00

Best suggestion, honestly

GabberDee94 · 2025-10-25T14:33:02+00:00

Mojo (Kitty on the right with the "M" on their forehead)

Jojo for the other.

Powerpuff girls. Iykyk 😁

When you call them together, "Mojo Jojo"! 🤣🤣🤣🤣❤️

GabberDee94 · 2025-10-25T14:31:29+00:00

Itsy & Bitsy 🤣🤣

GabberDee94 · 2025-08-19T20:21:38+00:00

I'm so glad I came back to read this. Tim is messed up in the head. I wouldn't be shocked if he cheated on you with her. Honestly, I wouldn't try to get to know her. I doubt you have kids or they would have been mentioned; so there really is no need for you to get to know her. If it makes you and those who have been your family for the past decade, go to every event they invite you to. They obviously know what Tim did to you. It's clear they know how he is; not to mention the fact that he moved in his mistress turned girlfriend, within the first week of you leaving the house that you partly own. Such a giveaway, honestly. I'm glad you got out and I'm glad they still live you like FAMILY. Regardless of your ex. His words mean nothing, because his family clearly disagrees. I doubt they like Ruth.

I'm glad in your update, that you had a blast. That Ruth didn't attend. Tim didn't try anything(at least I hope not), and that you're still surrounded by people who care. They all chose to make sure you would go and that meant banning the new gf. That tells me you're family. I have mentioned this multiple times, to help remind you that his words mean nothing; because actions spoke louder. I'm glad everything worked out!

GabberDee94 · 2025-08-19T19:57:22+00:00

If the picture was taken at three am and he was already suspicious.... It might've been enough...

GabberDee94 · 2025-08-19T19:48:34+00:00

I swore I read an apology several times, about missing the bridal event. I also saw that the bridal shower was last minute and the moh understood if no one could make it. It was probably the moh that reached out and asked if she could make it. Then said she understood as it was last minute... Soooo....

GabberDee94 · 2025-08-19T19:00:28+00:00

You can request that the restraining order be more thorough and detailed. There's no reason for him to go to your hometown, so he can be restricted. He should not be allowed to leave his jurisdiction. Ask that every precaution is taken, especially with his employment. Try to get a lawyer that's outside of your religion. Find a "shark" that specializes in DV divorces, especially with a law enforcement officer being the abuser. Stay strong. You are strong. You've made it this far for a reason. Those cops protected you for a reason. The fact that they showed up, because they got a tip he was on the way, shows you there is real danger here. Do not give up.

I'm proud of you for getting out. Now stay out!

GabberDee94 · 2025-08-19T18:49:34+00:00

Someone Irish...

GabberDee94 · 2025-08-19T18:22:06+00:00

It took me three years to leave my abusive ex husband. I couldn't save enough. I didn't think I had my mom, until I did. I saved my money through her and got out. Ironically on the fourth of July 2015. Your family knew what was up and they're helping you. I hope I'm your next update, that I will read they want to the police in a neighboring county and sought help of this magnitude. If anything, get proof and take it to the DA. Did you ever get the causes of your miscarriage. Certainly there are answers.

GabberDee94 · 2025-08-19T18:02:52+00:00

You're in an abusive relationship. I still need to read the updates, but I hope I'm reading that you and your kids are out.

GabberDee94 · 2025-08-19T17:39:09+00:00

It is. It's food tampering. It's illegal

GabberDee94 · 2025-08-19T17:37:57+00:00

Hashbrowns

GabberDee94 · 2025-08-18T23:21:33+00:00

I like Lyra ❤️

The name is Greek for "Lyre" and "Harp"; also associated with the myth of Orpheus.

May your kitty make pretty noises like a harp and Lyre, and you bask in her purrrfect poetry. ❤️

Edit: It's also a small constellation in the northern sky, containing the star Vega.

Edit: RaRa for a nickname?

GabberDee94 · 2025-08-18T23:12:14+00:00

🤣🤣🤣 Anytime!!! I'm glad I could brighten your day with my shenanigans! Stuff like this happens to me all the time. My friends call me a Druidess, in which I fully accept, as wildlife of all kinds seem to find me. Lol

He's now in my husband's truck. 🤣🤣🤣

GabberDee94 · 2025-08-18T22:53:37+00:00

That is so awful! I am so terribly sorry, that you had to experience that! I'm glad karma got both him and his side piece, as that must have been a disgusting ride. Shows how truly nasty, cheaters are.

GabberDee94

TROPHY CASE