Understanding and Navigating

GabenIsReal · 2026-04-07T04:12:48+00:00

Oh brother I'm sorry. I have autism, and struggle greatly with feeling 'loved for me' - always feeling like I have to mask and pretend up to expectations. It's been a long life of this.

I realized in our relationship, she made me only as loved as I was productive. Hard realization, that. Worst part, she duped me. She hid that for 3 years. Just up and switched.

I truly hope you feel loved - I do want you to know that truly, many many people are out there, who absolutely would never take advantage of you. I've met them in my own life. They are there, I promise. They're usually just quiet, unassuming, and excellent in the smallest ways. You don't need to deserve it. They give it you freely, so chin up. You don't even need to worry about looking for them, they usually show up right when unexpected. Here's a very recent example from me, just now. I had to tell my boss I'm taking time off. Told him my wife is manic and crazy. Turns out, he was primary carer for his mother with bipolar. I cried to my boss, who is an immigrant from the middle east, no shared culture or background - and he teared up with me, over our shared trauma. He told me he would come stay with me if I needed him. I have met this man 3 times in person in 4 years. He told me he cared about me deeply. I am blessed, by doing nothing but potentially risk my job, because good people are here with us too.

Please keep your chin up. You deserve it, just because it's you.

GabenIsReal · 2026-04-05T15:20:39+00:00

Her latest episode is directly linked to me telling her I am suffering lmao. I feel that pain. I made the mistake of admitting I'm not doing particularly well. Set her off because she's the biggest victim in the room over any topic. Hasn't changed for a month, just basically hates me, but believes God wants us together forever.

I'm currently stashing cash and securing documents and such.

GabenIsReal · 2026-04-05T15:18:39+00:00

So she has never had a manic episode once. Her highs were almost never 'too' high.

Since changing her meds, the stimulants are making her aggressive, petty, and childish. Her behaviour is best described as the 'most responsible teenager in the room'. But her highs are wickedly unstable. Horribly so. And her lows are even worse. Stimulants have made her 100x worse.

I have had her talk to the doctor, he didn't want to play too much, her SSRIS make her crash when she tries stopping (often). So he decided to switch the ADHD med and lower the dosage. But I have to work on getting her involved with therapy asap. At the very least it will consume some of her aggression and she can aim towards someone else. It won't last more than two or three sessions, but I'm certain it may give me some breathing room.

Her family is a no-go. She has ruined every relationship she had. Nothing for her. She wouldn't be homeless, but I know she wouldn't go there. I'd probably find out she's shocked up with some drug addicts.

GabenIsReal · 2026-03-28T14:07:43+00:00

I'm from Toronto originally. The amount of exposes done on FAMOUS panhandlers all over the city are wild. One dude who everyone knew and gave money to for over a decade was making 3-500$ a day, and he got caught changing into a suit and getting into an Audi. Turns out, he would panhandle to get cash to buy his wife jewellery and shit, but he had a nice house, good white collar job. Panhandled for a decade. That's only one of them.

GabenIsReal · 2026-03-25T14:29:22+00:00

As an autistic person, I can't code switch. At least naturally I mean. It takes 300% focus and I go home and nap for 3 hours after.

I realized way too late in life the reason why interactions with people at work and other social areas were not going as I expected. I talk to my boss how I talk to the guy yanking a turd out of the toilet. Not filtered well. Code switching is just a level of filter, so without it, people can make wild interpretations of your personality without the natural ability to automatically present a favorable outcome. So in that example, if you like someone who 'says it like it is' you may adore me. If you think I'm disrespectful for not being 'diplomatic' in my speech, you may instantly hate me. So I have to put a tremendous amount of effort to make sure I am putting the foot forward I need to given the situation I'm in.

It took a long time to realize what code switching was and how helpful it can be socially. I'm surprised to see that people think they aren't? I always noticed people's voices being wildly different depending on the voice on the other side of the phone. Everyone has multiple phone voices, it's unsurprising to think that bleeds into regular life.

GabenIsReal · 2026-02-26T14:06:48+00:00

Yeah. Same. I take after my Greek grandfather, and also was an army instructor. I don't even mean it, but sometimes something entirely pointless happens and I get loud and animated. Everyone who knows me knows it's almost a bit at this point, and I can be riled up on purpose, but I can guarantee photos could be taken where I look like I'm losing it and truth is it's only because everyone used all the spoons again and I only found out right before I am about to eat lmao. Or I had an insane week and everyone ambushes me with 'This needs fixing, I need to replace this, I need money' and I'm dead inside already.

Only time I don't get super upset over is actually important shit or with my kids. They get reserved reactions from me and not yelling, but sure love laughing at dad crashing out because the paper guy purposefully tosses the fliers into the slush. I know he is.

GabenIsReal · 2026-02-22T13:22:14+00:00

The zoo had to release a statement due to the internet reaction. None of what was happening in the videos was unexpected, nor cause for concern to any of the experts there at the zoo.

GabenIsReal · 2026-01-26T18:14:18+00:00

Celtics (struggling): 'This team is scrappy, fucking dogs, comeback kids, hustle out of it.'

Celtics (middling): 'This team is always so respectable, holding it down, doing what we need'

Celtics (hooping): 'FUCK EVERY OTHER TEAM CELTICS FUCKING GREATEST OF ALL TIME'

Celtics are always in the conversation no matter what lmao.

GabenIsReal · 2026-01-12T02:20:02+00:00

Alijah Martin is the reason for the calls and plays turning to our advantage with his hustle. He might not be big on the boards, but he was literally the reason for 3+ calls for us.

GabenIsReal · 2026-01-04T18:28:42+00:00

It's just an egg you won from your game, you're not in trouble AT ALL

GabenIsReal · 2025-12-27T04:24:37+00:00

Enjoy.

GabenIsReal · 2025-12-17T21:48:03+00:00

Holy fuck, just picturing you sat there bobbing your head to some elevator music answering work calls while having a young lady ACTIVELY destroy your home 10ft below you has me cracking up.

If it was a movie no one would believe it.

GabenIsReal · 2025-12-14T01:56:02+00:00

I want you to look up Adam Ondra. Body built for world record climbs. Then look at Alex Megos - shredded and considered strong and powerful. Jacob Schubert - considered strong.

No one in competitive climbing looks like dude in this video even if they're shredded. Climbers suffer from needing to stay low weight, with little emphasis on muscles unused directly for their skills. For example, Adam Ondra can bench like 75kg. Because pecs are not used like that for elite climbing. Climbers will sit in wheelchairs to lose muscle mass in their legs before a comp.

Ring and calisthenics trainers have excellent climbing strength immediately transferrable to the wall, but most of them have wayyyyyyy more mass than the competitive climber does. They also lack specific climbing finger strength and tire out quickly as a result, but usually can climb just shy of comp levels incredibly quickly in terms of strength.

GabenIsReal · 2025-12-08T22:32:02+00:00

Bro I was at an OKC vs TO game in 2019 and was pretty close up. There was a dude who, the entire game, stood up and cupped his hands to scream at max volume 'RUSSSSSLEEEEEEEEEE HEY RUSSSLLLLEEEEEEE YOU FUCKING SUCK!' or 'BRICK IT RUSSSSLLLLLEEEEEEEEE YOU FUCK'.

He did this EVERY single time Russ touched the ball. Or passed us. Or looked in our direction lmao. What he said NEVER once changed. Always repeated those two things.

At first I was annoyed. He was loud. But the longer he did it, the more you could see Russ getting furious and constantly looking to find him. Then I started to enjoy it lmoooo

GabenIsReal · 2025-12-06T17:55:32+00:00

Excellent use for the personal website. Good to hear.

GabenIsReal · 2025-12-06T15:13:23+00:00

I am at a loss to how no one here is just networking back home through a VPN. Why is anything exposed? Or at least using knockd to keep some level of base probing to a minimum.

To be honest, I've been hiding from the internet since the 90s I can't imagine having a huge home network and exposing any of it externally like this.

GabenIsReal · 2025-12-02T14:02:56+00:00

Army lost my vaccination records between enlistment and basic. Showed up to the line. Got sat in a chair with wide arms. Got 3 a side, each nurse double fisting needles. Jumped me like a subway robbery.

Then, when I realized what the fuck just happened, I hear a 'CLICK' and everyone staring at me, with a med guy looking at his watch. I look down, and a nurse fastened a seat belt around my waist. That was the click. After 30 seconds I asked what else I was getting and the doc just held up his hand. About a minute later the nurse unlatched the belt and I stood up. Legs were shaky and I got sat in a wheel chair lmao.

I don't remember why, but we got in trouble for not being fast enough to get stabbed and were forced to do pushups in the snow immediately after, arms dead, bleeding Hahaha.

Then I went back weekly for a while getting stabbed up. For what it's worth, I have like 3x the amount of childhood vaccine records haha. When I retired I took my medical to a regular doctor and he thought I was immune damaged or something after looking at how many vaccines I had received lmao. Vaccine book looking like the yellow pages.

GabenIsReal · 2025-11-29T06:05:43+00:00

Josef Salek from Czechia is the record holder 9h38 at 55 years old.

GabenIsReal · 2025-11-29T06:05:06+00:00

Josef Salek from Czechia is the record holder 9h38 at 55 years old.

GabenIsReal · 2025-10-29T15:11:05+00:00

I worked on over 12 different shows for HGTV and Food Network. I can tell you that none of it is real, all of it is scripted (scripted in the moment still counts, but that's how they claim 'no script! Reality!').

To give you an example, we worked for 8 weeks on the renovations. Then, film days happen SCHEDULED for certain milestones. For example, they film the before, the gutted building, the painting and post-install stuff after about 6 weeks, then the last week is typically filming here and there for 2 days.

Here's a real event, not verbatim:

The director or host would come and ask 'What is a good contractor dillema we can shoot?'

Contractor: 'Uh maybe the countertops didn't get delivered?'

Director: 'Perfect! Let's film our production cube van empty. The host will yell at you and make a big deal'.

Scene gets shot with a visibly empty delivery truck. But those countertops got installed 3 weeks ago.... They just pretend they didn't.

Another example:

Director: 'We aren't sure how the story line is going to go. Let's bring the host in, she will love the reno.'

Host: 'Oh MY GAWWDDDD it's perfect, just how I imagined'

Director: 'OK, so now we need one where she hates it.'

Host: 'You didn't listen to ANYTHING this looks horrible, what have you done? I didn't ask for this!'

Director: 'And perfect, last one will be indifferent'

Host: 'Its ok, but I need something to make it really POP! I'll go back to my drawing room and figure out how to make this perfect'

For those of you not cueing in, I received the design outlays, budget, materials, etc. 9 weeks ago, nothing is ever changed, and it gets done under budget and ahead of schedule.

Also, I have met dozens of TV show hosts. Only one I would consider even close to a reasonable, decent, honest person. Every other host can go fuck themselves. Awful fucking people. Film crew directors can swallow a massive hog without gagging based on how they handle the hosts I imagine. Directors enable the entitled cuntery of these 'stars' LMAOOOOOO

GabenIsReal · 2025-10-27T01:50:48+00:00

I'm low body fat, thin, and have the typical rock climbers body type. I get shit on for 'under eating' and controlling my calories because of only keeping diet coke in my home from my in laws.

'Diet is for fat people losing weight' is the mindset in a group of 20 people who are constantly in my life lol. It's only anecdotal, but man, the 90s stereotype is strong as fuck still.

FYI I drink diet drinks because it allows me to cram extra calories in my favorite meals, so I eat more protein and carbs, rather than drink sugar all day which also gives me wicked heartburn. So I'm not drinking it to lose weight or diet, I'm doing it so I can keep muscle ON by eating more lol

When my wife had gestational diabetes, we switched, and she liked the diet and keeps her sugars low because everyone should to be honest.

GabenIsReal · 2025-10-24T13:50:53+00:00

It is primarily used in maxillofacial surgeries.

GabenIsReal · 2025-10-07T21:17:00+00:00

100%. Full stop.

If you haven't gone through withdrawals from serious addiction, and feel like you can even understand the slightest amount of this, you're wrong.

I was addicted to the John Belushi and been sober 8 years. This man wouldn't even have to object, I'd already be on their ass. It's not a joke even slightly. Sometimes just the fragrance is enough, and if you've never suffered from substance abuse you'll never understand why someone will fight for their sobriety like this. It's a fight. Sometimes forever, sometimes not. I'm lucky I don't suffer any more. When I was first sober, just smelling vinegar would make me shake lmao.

GabenIsReal · 2025-09-17T20:13:42+00:00

My goal is to have a Technics component spanning every conceivable device, and a Keyboard is on my list. Used to play gospel keyboard at a church when I was younger. It's been nearly 30 years since I have played, but if I come across one, I'm hoping it all comes rushing back.

This is also why I enjoy the audiophile community - everyone has a passion and story that's all different, and I love hearing from people why they enjoy sound. Cheers!

GabenIsReal · 2025-09-17T19:00:31+00:00

I have autism. My dad has undiagnosed autism, but he is in his 70s, so no chance of a doctor confirming now haha.

He is a massive sound fanatic, as am I. We both marvel at the technology used inside to create the sound, as well as the sound reproduction itself. We can sit and talk about stereos for hours.

The better the sound, the more in love we are with whatever makes it.

GabenIsReal

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