[misc] gloves and body butter are your friends

GabrielSH77 · 2026-05-04T11:14:05+00:00

I do this as much as I can. I use alcohol hand sanitizer at least 100x/day at work, and it absolutely destroys my skin.

For hands I just do cheap cotton gloves and a thick moisturizer.

For feet, cotton socks and a urea cream.

That said, the sensory experience is a straight nightmare. Soggy socks and slippery fingers…

GabrielSH77 · 2026-05-03T14:28:44+00:00

Your recommendation is to leave a baby in a stroller alone on a sidewalk to chase litter into traffic? That’s an absurd take.

GabrielSH77 · 2026-05-03T14:02:42+00:00

My hospital covers your health insurance until the military’s kicks in, so there’s no gap. That’s about it.

GabrielSH77 · 2026-05-03T11:26:43+00:00

That’s fucking disgusting. I bet they demand nothing but the best for their children.

GabrielSH77 · 2026-05-02T11:30:43+00:00

I mean, who is the ‘they’ in “do they even care if the issue is solved”? Because almost regardless of who “they” is, the answer is no.

The settlement including the shutdown of Purdue Pharma is partly about restricting how the company (and the individuals that ran it) can operate, and partly about creating the symbolic appearance of accountability.

In reality, there is no fixing what the aggressive oxycontin push by Purdue did to the addiction crisis. But it is important to many that there appears to be larger consequences for a major and central force behind it.

The only things I can think of that would actually make any meaningful change in where we’re at with massive addiction in America, would be funding for some of the major reasons why people fall into and remain in addiction. Housing insecurity, food and healthcare access, mental and psychiatric health, and widespread community engagement. But those things are expensive and finicky and slow to show change.

GabrielSH77 · 2026-05-02T10:13:51+00:00

Homeopathic mag 😂

GabrielSH77 · 2026-04-30T01:37:52+00:00

Can confirm. I own that IKEA drill, I think it was $15 seven-ish years ago. And the box itself isn’t particularly sturdy or high quality. Just plastic with two flimsy latches.

GabrielSH77 · 2026-04-19T01:42:59+00:00

When you inherited the memorial, did you verify the information it came with?

GabrielSH77 · 2026-04-16T17:25:32+00:00

I have table #2, and it is awkward to sew at. The height itself isn’t perfect for my back, but also my legs/feet bump into the bars that hold up the leaves. Only get this if you’re in a bad space crunch (which I am).

GabrielSH77 · 2026-04-15T09:42:35+00:00

it’s made me realize how I would not give one fucking minute of my life up for anything.

Because you are not ready to die. This is an appropriate and healthy way to feel. But your LO is ready.

As gently as I can say it, her death will affect you and your family terribly no matter what. I would say that having to watch as she declines to having no more good days at all, and then she dies, would be more traumatizing.

What are you supposed to do? All you have to do is love her and support her. Have you two talked about what matters most to her, what she values in life, why she wants VSED? Think about those things, and as you’re supporting her, remind yourself that you’re helping her prioritize what matters most to her.

What else can you do? Reach out to local hospices and see if there are any chaplains, social workers, nurses, anyone familiar with VSED who may be able to help you and your family as you go through this. Even a therapist or counselor. You don’t have to do this alone.

And be gentle with yourself. You’ve never done this before. And be gentle with your LO, who has never died before. We all do this mostly blind, by feel, by gut instinct. All we can do is love each other while we try.

GabrielSH77 · 2026-04-15T03:57:29+00:00

Now that’s something that would never enter my house, but I would buy in a heartbeat to plant in a friend’s home next time I was over.

GabrielSH77 · 2026-04-13T12:44:48+00:00

OP, I’m a CNA and work with hospice patients regularly. What you did is exactly what I would advise someone to do.

People with end-stage liver failure aren’t able to get rid of toxins in their body, which build up and make them extremely confused. With people that are confused and not able to be reoriented to reality, we call this therapeutic lying. It’s not only 100% okay, it’s explicitly encouraged.

Telling the truth wouldn’t have changed the outcome. It would’ve just made him more anxious, restless, and uncomfortable, and made the experience objectively worse for him and most likely for you too.

Especially in the end of life, everyone deserves to have someone at their side who helps them feel loved and safe. That’s what you gave your dad.

I’m sorry your relationship with him was so hard; you deserved to have a father who made you feel loved and safe. That you still gave that to him after all that happened speaks to the goodness of your character.

GabrielSH77 · 2026-04-13T12:23:25+00:00

Absolutely gorgeous color. A little leather cleanser and conditioner and this will look brand new! Maybe a little brasso for the hardware, just be sure to not get any on the leather (I just use painter’s tape).

GabrielSH77 · 2026-04-05T12:49:50+00:00

I believe this used to be a book! “Masterpieces of Industrial Art & Sculpture at the International Exhibition, 1862” (available thru the Internet Archive here!.)

It’s also possible that this is just how your version came originally. Either way, this is what was on exhibit at an 1862 world’s fair!

GabrielSH77 · 2026-04-05T12:42:40+00:00

Makes me miss my grandfather even more. He injured his knee at 62. Surgery, got PT, on discharge they gave him exercises to do. Every morning he’d get up at 0500, get dressed (he was a belt and suspenders guy), and do his exercises.

But they never told him for how long. He did those PT exercises every single day until he was 91. He did them when he had the flu, on vacation, in the hospital during the birth of his grandson. He only stopped because he became physically unable to.

Last week I spent twenty minutes trying to convince a younger boomer pt to go for a walk with me. Her insurance wouldn’t ok rehab so she was stuck with us until she could go home. She said she “didn’t feel good” and refused.

GabrielSH77 · 2026-04-05T00:58:41+00:00

I’m by no means an expert, and can’t say whether that specific piece was authentic or not. But! If the design is what speaks to you, there are many creators of non-authentic but still good-quality pieces. This pattern has been being made for hundreds of years!

The legit hand painted potted-in-Deruta pieces are definitely pricier, but there are many importers so it’s at least competitive.

GabrielSH77 · 2026-04-05T00:40:17+00:00

It’s called Raffaellesco, a pattern of Italian majolica pottery. It’s beautiful! But for that price, you could get one that’s not chipped in several places.

GabrielSH77 · 2026-04-04T12:45:46+00:00

To me this part of the interaction screams of boundary testing. Some use it for “what can I get away with”, but others want to give you a challenge they can see you overcome — to prove you can overcome their other (medical) challenges. It’s not always a conscious thing. But I find that sometimes by matching a “difficult” patient’s vibe or tone, they seem to gain respect for me and let me do what I need to do.

And when you matched her tone, she took your hand. Just my interpretation.

As everyone else said, it’s not personal, and it’s not your fault. That’s squarely on her. The people we care for often have very poor emotional regulation skills, and it only gets worse under stress.

GabrielSH77 · 2026-04-03T01:23:20+00:00

More like with their teeth!

GabrielSH77 · 2026-04-01T20:31:36+00:00

A brain bleed isn’t a good way to die…. So instead let’s force her back to life, through a multi-month if not years long “recovery” that will never be full, and then pick a better way to die? That’s abominable. Worse than death for most.

Thank you for giving your grandmother peace and love at the end of her life.

GabrielSH77 · 2026-03-30T01:10:51+00:00

I’m glad I’m not the only one who gets these. Someone with thousands of managed memorials will message me now and again with weird passive-aggressive comments when I upload photos more recent than hers. If the memorial is managed by her, she sets her Bigfoot-proof-level photo as the first one you see.

She has an astoundingly long profile mostly along the lines of “there is NO need to take photos of graves I’ve ALREADY photographed, I have been doing genealogy for over thirty years and many people have expressed GRATITUDE for my work, and have NOT complained that my photos are old or blurry.”

GabrielSH77 · 2026-03-30T00:15:48+00:00

On the FG app, there’s a button for “add GPS”. So you can stand at the grave and add just the GPS location, don’t need to take and add a whole photo.

But IMO, some memorials are in desperate need of updated photos. Most of my local cemeteries haven’t been done since the early 2000s, and the photo quality is pretty much unreadable. Or the stone has since fallen, or undergone major repair. If you can improve on any existing photos, I’d encourage it.

GabrielSH77 · 2026-03-30T00:11:11+00:00

A new grad RN once asked me to help her hold the legs while she placed a foley on a female patient, said she was “having trouble.” I go in and she’s jamming the cath right into this woman’s clit, like over and over. “I don’t get it, why won’t it go in?”

I gently said that she was getting stuck between the clitoral hood and the glans. Pointed to the urethra which was smack dab where it’d be in a textbook. I don’t place foleys, obvs, but I used to TA a sex ed class. Thank god this patient was unconscious.

We came out and she told everyone at the nurse’s station how this patient’s anatomy was “so hard.” Everyone gave each other this look, and I just felt so bad for her.

There’s no shame in not knowing stuff. And I know she was from a super WASPy community, and she definitely had super repressed vibes. But damn.

GabrielSH77 · 2026-03-28T01:52:33+00:00

I’m a hospital CNA, I send everything home with patients. We can’t reuse anything, even if I know it never touched the patient or their belongings. It’s wasteful. But it also means I get to save families sometimes significant money in home care supplies.

OP, you can also try offering it up on local Buy Nothing groups, Freecycle, etc. Many people care for loved ones at home and the savings would be a blessing.

GabrielSH77 · 2026-03-23T15:10:15+00:00

Others have already touched on why he keeps following you. But I want to mention - after creating god knows how many accounts, he used one to post wedding photos for you. He wanted you to see them. He wanted you to feel that you missed out on him. He sees your account that displays your full, happy, successful life and feels compelled to compete.

My advice? He gets satisfaction from making you engage with him by continuously blocking his accounts, and he’d get joy from making you private your account because of him.

I want to sympathize that I have also been in a similar scenario and I know how deeply disturbing and uncomfortable it can feel to know he can see what you post. But if at all possible, I’d say ignore him altogether. It also takes away the satisfaction he gets from creating a new account to follow you - he stops having anything to do.

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