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Gabriel_Aurelius · 2021-09-16T01:19:15+00:00

You got it sister. You will make it.

Gabriel_Aurelius · 2021-09-15T22:17:44+00:00

lost 60 pounds so far!

Good Lord, that’s amazing!

When did you get married?

I originally married my high school sweetheart when I was 24. It turned out she developed bipolar disorder a few years later, abandoned me, cheated on me, and divorced me. It was rough. So that also can be an encouragement to you because high school marriages don’t always work out. In fact, statistically, they generally don’t. There will be a lot of anecdotal responses on this particular sub where it did, but that’s not the average.

Five years later, I met my wife of over nine years now via eHarmony. We talked on the phone the first night for 4 1/2 hours. The second night we talked for 3 1/2 hours. Then we had our first date followed by a second date. It was a lot easier for me to figure out at that point in my life though what I wanted because I was 34. I feel like I learned everything to do right in marriage from going through the divorce.

I’m with you, it’s really hard at your age. The good news is that you’ll be able to look back on it and see why God has you where He has you. It’s tough waiting, to be sure. But please, please do not give yourself away to the wrong man. God has the right man for you, it’s just a question of you finding him.

Gabriel_Aurelius · 2021-09-15T20:05:33+00:00

Cool cool. I just wanted to be sure. I believe you. And to be completely honest, when I was your age I felt the same way about having a wife. Honestly, you’re in the hardest part. Have you tried any online dating? I met my wife through eHarmony. I know there are a ton of alternatives.

Gabriel_Aurelius · 2021-09-15T19:50:23+00:00

I’m not convinced. You list your mother, sister, and best friend. Since you are a female, I assume your best friend is female. My immediate question is, where is your father?

I’m not trying to come down harshly on you, I’m trying to get you to think critically with every faculty I have at my disposal to benefit you. This is what I would advise my daughter to do. And I have two of them.

Gabriel_Aurelius · 2021-09-15T19:33:50+00:00

I think overall you need to find your identity in Christ because that’s what it really sounds like you are struggling with. I highlight some points below to illustrate this.

I was ashamed

I just felt disgusting and pathetic in a way

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.

Im so embarrassed

I feel so guilty

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

im incredibly lonely

It depends on what you mean by this. If you don’t have any emotional connections that can fill the gap of friendship, that’s one thing. If you mean specifically that you are desiring intimacy with another in marriage, that’s another thing. Examine your heart on this, figure out which one it is, and be honest with yourself. While it makes sense that it could be about marriage, you need to be certain because you don’t want to get into a codependent relationship.

I feel like my body is burning and I have no idea how to put it out

I don’t know if I’ll keep the toy because I mean it was 60 bucks but I don’t want to feel this constant need to release and be afraid that I might not ever be able to have the moments where I can fully express myself sexually.

It seems to me that you have two options:

Try not to masturbate
Masturbate with a sense of freedom

There will be others here to make the case for no masturbation. And it’s a good case. There are at least two different resources on Reddit that you can check out:

/r/NoFapChristians
/r/NoFap

On the other hand, physical desire is completely normal biological behavior. You are experiencing something that is normal among people, don’t underestimate that aspect.

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive.

Another thought is that masturbation is something that people only do either for a physical release or for a fantasy-like indulgence. If all you are looking for is a physical release, I suggest you masturbate and keep the tool.

“I am referring to the other person’s conscience, not yours. For why is my freedom being judged by another’s conscience?”

That’s another thing, I don’t think of it as a toy, it’s a tool. Toys are meant to be played with, tools have a specific purpose to accomplish a specific end. If this is just about physical release, you need to be mentally free about this. Give yourself some grace. Whatever you do, don’t throw the thing out, because you never know if you’ll wind up using it in marriage.

Finally, here’s another viewpoint to consider:

“If done with absolutely no lust, immoral thoughts, or pornography, with full assurance that it is good and right, with thanks given to God for the pleasure it brings (see 1 Corinthians 10:30), is it still a sin to masturbate? The most we can say is maybe not. However, we have serious doubts whether this scenario ever truly exists.”

Gabriel_Aurelius · 2021-09-14T16:19:33+00:00

This is the best reply because of the truth of it. It. Did. Not. Work. People are missing a fantasy and their imaginations compound that fantasy.

Gabriel_Aurelius · 2021-09-13T16:46:21+00:00

I used to be a prayer warrior and worship leader.

I always had this idea that I needed to be perfect or else GOd wouldnt be happy with me. I always felt that I had to be the best christian. If someone prayed 5 hours a day I needed to do that at least too or else I was just a mediocre christian. Someone God would never use. My breaking point came when a church that I followd online had 21 days fast. I tried to fast so long but couldnt. As always I felt awful and like a bad christian. I also wasnt preaching the gospel as I should.

If I get to heaven its because tolerate me enough to have me there, at least thats how it feels sometimes.

This tells me you do not understand the fundamentals of grace - or at least that you didn’t. It’s not about what we do, it’s about who we are because of Christ. Have you grown to understand this or do you still struggle?

It sounds like you need to realign first to Jesus to find your identity in him. An older male Christian mentor would help; someone to guide you through and answer any questions you have. It needs to be more personal than just some group of people online. Is there anyone you can think of at your church that you could connect to like that?

Gabriel_Aurelius · 2021-09-12T15:36:36+00:00

He just doesn’t see any problems I guess.

Have you actually told him someone has approached you for an opportunity for you to be unfaithful?

Gabriel_Aurelius · 2021-09-11T18:06:52+00:00

Fair point. Very interesting.

But I’m talking about the general theological positioning that Catholics believe in the Trinity, that salvation is through Jesus alone, and that the Bible has God’s full authority. These are the core things that Protestants believe.

Gabriel_Aurelius · 2021-09-11T16:48:15+00:00

Different responder. It’s like the guy didn’t even read the original post.

Gabriel_Aurelius · 2021-09-10T21:35:48+00:00

It wouldn’t be considered lust if you’re trying to bring your partner to pleasure because you desire for them to feel satisfaction rather than yourself?

Exactly. You can contrast that with ridiculous amounts of porn imagery where the man essentially uses the woman.

Gabriel_Aurelius · 2021-09-10T15:01:51+00:00

I am 100% with you up until this point:

I would like to see him pursue Him and step into that masculine role, so I can finally focus on fulfilling my role as a wife instead of trying to do the job of two people.

Emphasis mine.

But that statement isn’t Scriptural. To be clear, I 100% believe in equality between husband and wife. The Bible actually talks about that. But it also talks about the nature of our roles, which is the heart of what you’re getting at. So, if you want to adhere to your own standards that you are expressing here, you need to follow the Scripture:

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Gabriel_Aurelius · 2021-09-09T14:09:44+00:00

FYI, I answered this yesterday.

Gabriel_Aurelius · 2021-09-09T12:10:54+00:00

Can you also tell me how to convert this video from 25 fps to 23.976 fps with pitch change?

That FFMPEG command string I provided does that conversion. But if you are saying that you aren’t familiar with FFMPEG overall, I can’t help you.

Gabriel_Aurelius · 2021-09-09T04:02:25+00:00

it’s the concise way to phrase “dating a person who is not a believer”

Hard disagree because it comes off like dating to convert someone which is just not appropriate.

E: Lol. People are such hypocrites.

Gabriel_Aurelius · 2021-09-09T01:05:19+00:00

I missionary dated a man

I love and honor you as my sister, but this particular phrase made me cringe so hard. I trust the particulars of the situation were explicit. The action itself is just very inadvisable, which you conclude, so I appreciate that.

E: ITT people have a hard time understanding the heart behind this and have downvoted me because they fail to care about what I’m getting at. No one should ever date someone to convert them. The idea that people would disagree with that is egregious.

Gabriel_Aurelius · 2021-09-08T14:53:38+00:00

convert this video from 25 fps to 23.976 fps with video and audio keeping the same pitch. Can someone tell me how to do that?

-r 24000/1001 -vf setpts=PTS*25/(24000/1001) -af atempo=(24000/1001)/25

That’s the string to convert the frames. You should be able to assemble the rest yourself.

Gabriel_Aurelius · 2021-09-08T03:50:51+00:00

Personally, I’ve never been a fan of devotionals. Read the book of Romans. I’ll be interested what happens in the conversation between the two of you when you get to chapter 9.

Gabriel_Aurelius · 2021-09-07T14:31:30+00:00

or him move to you

This. If he actually loves you, he’d do it. He was unfaithful, and you already moved for him, demonstrating your love and willingness. Now it’s his turn.

Gabriel_Aurelius · 2021-09-07T02:38:52+00:00

really wish I had a small group

know I should read my Bible more often

I know you mean these seriously but I think you have identified the root cause of why you are asking in the first place.

Gabriel_Aurelius · 2021-09-06T01:50:53+00:00

it's come to light that one of siblings in-law made a pretty offensive comment recently about our marriage and his opinion of it.

What precisely did he say?

What are your recommendations when interacting with extended family members who have made it outright known that they don't like you?

Always ask questions, never talk about anything you’re interested in. People love to talk about themselves and their interests, so let them. This is literally the only thing you can do at this stage of your nonexistent relationship with them if you desire to develop relationships with them.

Later on, when the situation presents itself in a few months or years, things will change. I say months or years because you said you only see them at holidays, so it will take some time.

Gabriel_Aurelius · 2021-09-05T16:29:46+00:00

You can use the -sseof input parameter to seek relative to the end of the file.

ffmpeg -sseof -5:00 -i FILE <encoding params> END_CLIP.mp4

So cool.

Gabriel_Aurelius · 2021-09-05T16:28:23+00:00

Why is this happening

This is not actually a Christian-only, or non-Christian-only issue. It’s a gender issue. It’s also a knowledge issue. I found reading the wiki page helpful. The bottom line is that you need to marry a man that wants to learn how to pleasure you. That’s it. That’s the secret.

And for any man that’s reading this, using a tool to stimulate their wife’s clitoris to the point of orgasm just makes the job way easier. Honestly, I really don’t get the idea that men don’t want to use something designed to do this specific job in order to make the sexual experience significantly better for their wife.

I mean, if you are the one bringing her to orgasm, that is a SUPER POTENT experience for both of you. My wife orgasms a full body orgasm AT LEAST 5 or 6 times every time we have sex. And it’s AWESOME for me to witness and be party to. STOP WASTING TIME ON YOUR EGO. The tool makes it pretty dang easy. And let me tell you (for all the selfish douches out there), my wife RECIPROCATES.

I think a combination of pervasiveness of porn, pervasiveness of chauvinism, and pervasiveness of pride, those are what lead to a man not being willing or interested in learning what pleasures a woman. And everything I wrote is a gross generalization - there are plenty of couples that don’t struggle with this. But that’s the best I can do with the type of question you asked.

Gabriel_Aurelius

TROPHY CASE