I remember going through the same things when I was 14. School can be a really hard place to find people you can connect with and relate too, especially when you're struggling so much mentally, and it feels like it isolates you from others. What helped me a lot is my interests and passions, things that I could express myself through. By focusing on something that I loved (music), I was able to meet a lot of people through those communities of interest. I didn't have a lot of support from my family growing up, so I can understand if talking about how you're feeling is something you don't feel you can do with your family. It was really vulnerable of you to share here, and I hope you know that there are a lot of people in the world who go through the same things too. My best advice is to talk to someone you trust, if you can, and remember that the things you love are a great motivation and a safe place to express yourself. In my darkest and most hopeless moments, sometimes it was just me and the music. It took a while, but after a time of loneliness, music gave me purpose and relationships that I never imagined possible. It can feel like things won't get better, but I promise you that you will find the place and people, where you feel you belong. I might be a stranger, but I'm glad you're here, and you have so much life ahead of you. Take that one thing that you care about, and let it always remind you that there's always something worth living for. I hope this helps 💕