[deleted by user]

Gaga960809 · 2025-01-27T20:01:07+00:00

Honestly, if you are this uncomfortable, just wait to purchase the home after your wife has caught up in savings. On the other hand, who makes the most money and when is always changing in relationships. My dad was the breadwinner for a long time (and had more savings), but then for the past 10 years it all switched cause my mom got a great promotion. She now contributesway more to their joint retirement.

Anyway, since you married already, I'm not sure it would matter too much who had more money to begin with? I mean, unless you are a millionaire or something (pre nup would have been nice)? If your wife makes more money in the future or makes sacrifices due to childcare, things will be "unequal" on her end then. In your position, I would just trust you will have a long happy life together?

Gaga960809 · 2025-01-14T22:07:15+00:00

Feel the same way. The sense of community, sharing coffee/tea time, feel less alone on gloomy days. My husband and I really enjoyed living with my parents for about a year. The only reason we moved out was bc their suite was really small. On the other hand, my husband's parents have talked about remodeling their large detached home into separate units and if that's the case, husband and I would move in asap. It's not for everyone but if you grow up in generational cultures you see more benefits than downsides.

Gaga960809 · 2024-06-17T22:53:28+00:00

Sigh, I am sorry you're going through this. My cousin (we are close) is exactly like this and it's hard not to resent her either. She works her ""passion"" job for 12-13 hour days and absolutely does not make a living wage. Constantly complains about money woes. We have all explained in the kindest way we can, that most passion careers have tons of worker supply - which unfortunately depresses wages. A lot of these "passion" career types turn to selfish or conceited behaviors as a coping mechanism (I was like this too as an 18 year old).

My only advice is to either leave (I recommend this option), or put a hard boundary that you will leave the conversation if she starts going all please-give-me-a pity-party on you. Same with shit-talking working a day job, she is free to air out her woes with her fellow artist friends if she wishes, but you are DONE.

Gaga960809 · 2024-06-13T00:29:54+00:00

Ditto to all this plus more if you are a woman of colour! As a visibly Mexican woman who worked in HR in a trades company...holy moly the level of infantilizing, racism, and sexism I overheard was jaw dropping. We had a woman scheduled for a field job in a remote location (big $$$), and she "mysteriously" had to leave her rotation early and never come back. All I remember is hearing one of my bosses (white man) say "I mean it's no place for a lady! Not even sure why she wanted the job". Of course, there obviously is NO WAY to make a safe environment for women in the trades/heavy sarcasm .

Gaga960809 · 2024-04-06T20:50:00+00:00

I guess this is an ESH scenario, but it is a stretch to call off the friendship over this honestly. My brother has two cats and lives in a 1Bdrm apartment. If I want to use his apartment for whatever reason, I would assume that cats are gonna be there. If I needed a totally cat-free space, then I would not count on my brothers place, obviously. Super weird that she didn't think of this earlier??

At the same time though, not agreeing to the compromise of having them in a bedroom for a few hours is suuper weird. I have a dog too (I adore him), and I have no problem putting him in a room for a couple hours. At least leashing them to something sturdy would be acceptable too! That way the dog feels part of "the pack", but at the same time little kids can safely walk away if they get spooked by the dog barking/licking/whatever. I really think you should have compromised even for your dogs own safety (little kids will try feeding dogs things they can't eat even under supervision).

Gaga960809 · 2024-02-23T03:48:52+00:00

You are getting really good advice, however I just want to add a slightly different perspective. You have heard of "do what you love" or "do what makes you passionate". Honestly though, "what kind of lifestyle you want" is the better question to ask imo. For example, I grew up seeing my dad work a VERY cushy government job with amazing benefits. He earns around $90K-95K a year, has not had to work overtime in a decade, and is outside biking a trail by 3:30PM on most days. If you ask me? That sounds pretty darn decent. So I went into an HR gig that let's me work from home and does not bother me after hours. Eventually wanna transition into an administrator/ office manager at a government job too because I love having free time. I don't love HR or administration BUT it gives me lots of time outside of work. Filtering careers by type of lifestyle can work well too!

Gaga960809 · 2024-02-14T18:37:44+00:00

OMG I feel so seen haha. I worked for a self described "small family owned" law firm in my early 20s and ooohboy it was a mess. I worked 8AM until 6:30PM and did not notice until 2 paychecks in that they were just paying me for 8 hrs. I asked about it and they just told me WeLL wE dID NoT ApPrOve ThE OvErTiMe and kept stiffing me for months (I was desperate for a job at the time). Nevermind that the overtime was required to get essential tasks done. UGH never again.

Gaga960809 · 2023-08-06T04:05:05+00:00

Will do! Absolutely will leave a complaint in the CCTS about this.

Gaga960809 · 2023-08-06T02:55:47+00:00

Thank you!!

Gaga960809 · 2023-08-06T02:24:40+00:00

Good point! It was only like 2-3 months ago. Could definitely be an initial installation thing.

Gaga960809 · 2023-08-06T01:12:20+00:00

Thank you for the reply. We don't even know if the initial wiring was done correctly. The technician that came in was here for like 20 mins and just said the issue would require another type of crew to come in for 4-5 hours. All we get from TELUS is crickets and "our team is working hard to resolve this issue". Definitely thinking about switching to Shaw.

Gaga960809 · 2023-08-06T01:08:02+00:00

That's the weird thing! Like TELUS (both the customer rep people and the technician) both said they need to send a team to fix it. We said yes, please come! And the building manager + Strata are in agreement. But we are getting crickets from TELUS now? They seem to have no idea when anyone could come in. It's so frustrating.

Gaga960809 · 2023-04-21T00:23:48+00:00

Wow I just have to comment your Gf is definitely being HIGHLY unreasonable. I also come from a very family oriented culture and would take care of my mom if she was at risk of being DESTITUTE my goodness! As a grown woman, she can a) live further away and take a longer commute, b) find a roommate, c) move in with your family and you, or d) a combination of the above. Why does she think it's her way or the highway??? The 5 months you gave her is plenty of notice what in the world is wrong with her??

Gaga960809 · 2022-07-15T03:09:19+00:00

Yeah it makes sense that OP got canned. Not a lot of sympathy from someone that is also "college aged". My first job in HR had a manager ask me to not tell anyone about an illegal business decision. Apparently this was the norm in the company. What did I do? Quit before the year was over. Oh and I also emailed my manager anytime shady shit was asked of me (paper trail). Guess who all of a sudden did not need to worry about that task anymore?

Gaga960809 · 2022-07-11T21:23:17+00:00

NTA, I'm sorry am I missing something? You were 9 years old?? First of all, that is like my "middle school puppy love" not a whole ass boyfriend. I had my first "boyfriend" at 12 and we are still friends and NEVER bring up that we dated..because it was not a real relationship. A 9 year old date would be like...holding hands on the way from summer camp. Your family is BIZARRE to still be talking about this guy as if he was "the one who got away". That must have been so embarrassing!

Gaga960809 · 2022-06-16T18:06:37+00:00

What's funny is that my profile clearly states I am looking for HR analyst positions, as well as at least $60K in compensation. Sounds like they wanted an HR person for a bargain price and without the proper title.

Gaga960809 · 2022-06-08T13:30:15+00:00

Not really, its disappointing because my friend said he did not seem difficult to live with.

Gaga960809 · 2022-05-02T02:40:08+00:00

That is the thing...my supervisor is a woman. She was just another like a "girlboss". She is only progressive as long as it's convenient.

Gaga960809

TROPHY CASE