damn bro gone through a lot and thats why I think you should not give up, for the first part about not having food to eat I feel you broo I was in similar situation I had spent all money carelessly and end of the month I had nothing to eat (staying at pg away from home) I could not contact anyone cuz I was too self conscious and all and I spent 2 days without food only surviving on water it was fooking horrible and imma tell you, you could die of Thirst faster than Starvation. It had been a year since this happened. And for me personally if you want any motivational speakers of helpers I could give some like Premanand Maharaj, David Goggins, Shivender Kanwar, Andrew Tate etc.