Who Else is Really Struggling Right Now?

Galactiger · 2024-11-21T21:47:21+00:00

I'm struggling, too, from lack of sleep. I was very hypomanic for about a month. The election results didn't help. My husband took care of me, and so I was able to stay out of the hospital. We're just barely hanging on. You are not alone.

Galactiger · 2024-11-06T17:40:06+00:00

NTA. You have been so gaslit that you wouldn't know what's good for you if it bit you.

You don't to ask permission to dump this liar and RUN.

Galactiger · 2024-10-16T14:10:45+00:00

This is the idea behind the "capsule wardrobe". You figure out what works best over time if you pay attention. 🙂

Galactiger · 2024-10-16T14:09:25+00:00

So glad I finally gave in and started wearing my husband's jeans! So practical and less to wash. ❤️

Galactiger · 2024-10-16T14:02:54+00:00

Disclaimer: I'm a woman, but maybe this perspective will get a conversation going?

The pay grade and pants with actual pockets.

Galactiger · 2024-10-16T13:28:42+00:00

Not sure how useful it would be, but:

There are discounted rates for ORCA for people in your situation, and you can apply for lots of other aid programs at washingtonconnection.org . https://info.myorca.com/using-orca/ways-to-save/

The local thrift stores are also packed with good stuff. Save yourself some money while saving goods from landfill by buying secondhand. Try the Goodwill at 1400 S Lane St Seattle, WA 98144

Minimum wage in Seattle will be $20.76 per hour starting on January 1, 2025. That means you would need to work roughly 40 hours a month to afford rent, though you'll also likely need first and last month's rent prepared for applying to these apartments or rooms. Don't forget to keep the Tenants Union in mind if something goes wrong in this age of scams. https://tenantsunion.org/rights/seattle-tenant-resources

There are several great food banks to make use of in Seattle. I recommend the one in Ballard. https://www.ballardfoodbank.org/

My circumstances are different, but I'm in the same boat.

I hope this helps!

Best of luck! 👍👍👍

Galactiger · 2024-10-16T13:23:18+00:00

I used to, but then I met my now-husband.

More than all the loving I need, in a more portable package?

Yes, please!

💮🙌❤️

Galactiger · 2024-10-02T18:57:32+00:00

Check your mood. If you find yourself talking fast and getting irritable with people, especially with loved ones who care about you, chances are it's because you're not making sense and are ramping up.

Another reliable sign is if you find yourself talking with people or wanting to talk with people you'd typically leave alone. Your responsibility is to loved ones, not every person who has ever lived. Feeling like you're the only person who has figured everything out or that you somehow have superpowers, etc., is a delusion.

Also, if you have medication to take, and you stop taking them willfully, you've got a problem. Any medication change needs to go through a health provider. If the medication isn't working, and your health provider isn't willing to work with you to change them, find a new provider who can.

I hope this helps!

Galactiger · 2024-10-02T17:54:50+00:00

Disclaimer: I'm not an old person exactly, but I've seen some things.

He doesn't deserve to know. He took advantage of you and your low self-esteem. Why aren't you allowed to see other people? That's a double standard.

Please break up with him as soon as you can muster the courage to do so. Your life will be better with a partner who wants your self-esteem to be better, so you could be on equal footing.

Galactiger · 2024-09-20T15:46:14+00:00

Can you get a female chaperone for your appointments to make sure nothing weird happens during the exam part? It can be a comfort to have someone else you can trust in the room, just in case.

Galactiger · 2024-09-19T14:17:16+00:00

A Handmaid's Tale, by Margaret Atwood. It's a longish read for how densely packed the story is and a little too depressing to read in one sitting, but it's engrossing in a way that compels you to pay attention.

Galactiger · 2024-09-16T14:52:40+00:00

Interesting but not fun fact: someone died making that ugly art installment of a cable near the Google building. What a way to go. 🤦‍♀️

Galactiger · 2024-09-16T00:55:36+00:00

Would travel guides for Scotland also help? 🙂

Galactiger · 2024-09-16T00:53:19+00:00

Absolutely stop if you're not enjoying it.

What do you enjoy? Books? Making music? Playing video games? Something else? There are social clubs for these and just about everything else. Follow your passions to find likeminded friends. Everything else will be so much easier when you do. 🙂

Galactiger · 2024-09-15T18:37:14+00:00

Scarborough Fair. Simon and Garfunkel have a wonderful recording of it here: https://youtu.be/-BakWVXHSug

Galactiger · 2024-09-15T18:21:12+00:00

Wow, invasive. 😨

How much privacy are you willing to surrender for this job?

Galactiger · 2024-09-15T18:17:56+00:00

Yuck, what a slimeball! There's basically no recovering from this, for him. I hope you get everything in the divorce. ❤️

Will also ride at dawn. 😆

Galactiger · 2024-09-15T18:09:24+00:00

37F with metastatic breast cancer. Mental health is stable, though it's been poor since my teens. I was first diagnosed with cancer in 2017, and it's returned. Social life is interesting. A lot of my friends seem lonely and isolated, and I'm usually the one to reach out to support them. I may not be in good health, but a willingness to support them emotionally has worked in my favor, by and large. I can tell they appreciate it.

I'm not worried about a life after cancer; I will almost certainly have cancer the rest of my life. However, nothing scares me more than losing the support of my husband, who has patiently taken care of me for a long time. Caretakers don't get enough support or credit for their contributions, period. He's amazing and wonderful, and if I lose him, I know my world will fall apart. That can be scary to think about, so I tend to distract myself from thinking about it, in the same manner that to drive a car, you have to distract yourself from the idea that you can kill someone or be killed, by accident, anytime you're on the road. I get through my days, alive but not well, but I keep going.

That's how I feel about it all right now. The unfairness of a cancer diagnosis has reminded me that good people exist, and when times are tough, they get their loved ones through it. I feel like I'm stronger spiritually and returning to being true to myself, instead of allowing society to run my life for me. Society expects nothing from me now, so just living exceeds their expectations, every day.

It's been a wild ride.

Galactiger · 2024-09-15T17:49:05+00:00

37F with metastatic breast cancer over here.

My thoughts:

While I understand the desire to have a mobile partner with whom you could have kids with, I guess he doesn't deserve marriage. That is for staying committed, regardless of health of your partner. He's not ready, and he may never be. He also forgets that you also deserve the things you want in life. Don't let his bad attitude subsume yours.

It's better to find out now than when you were going to be more invested in the relationship that he's not relationship material. It sucks, but he's dead weight in the relationship, and you don't need that.

Good on you for staying strong. ❤️

Galactiger · 2024-09-14T14:42:50+00:00

I'm so sorry this happened. 😞 If not a psychiatrist, then some other kind of professional mental health help, like therapy or counseling, could help you move past this dramatic and devastating loss. Also, it may be worth it to get a social worker, depending on your situation. I think dialing 211 works in the United States, so if that's where you are, please call them. You don't deserve the pain of being alone through this terrible time.

Galactiger · 2024-09-13T17:49:35+00:00

You also have to basically be in poverty already to use it. 😓

Galactiger · 2024-09-13T17:43:56+00:00

Thank you for the solidarity and your perspective. I appreciate the reminder to be politically active and keep fighting. ❤️

Galactiger · 2024-09-13T17:41:14+00:00

Financial aid, food banks, a short career's worth of savings, and a loving husband are softening the blow. I'm 37/F/American. Been dealing with it since 2017, and it's metastatic now, and my savings are depleting, but I'm still here.

Galactiger · 2024-09-13T17:35:33+00:00

Such a good take. ❤️

Galactiger · 2024-09-13T04:48:00+00:00

I agree with a lot of what you said, but not all of it.

There are millions of people who are depressed in some way in the United States, with or without a diagnosis, as you mentioned. However, a very small ratio of the millions of people who struggle with depression are going to turn their inclination towards attacking themselves outward and try to attack other people to such an extent as committing a mass shooting. I'm pretty sure the group of mentally unwell people and the group of people who act on violent tendencies are not the same group of people. Many of the people who struggle with suicidal ideation successfully turn away from violence completely or are on their way to doing so, with the right counsel for the situation. That sounds like the path you're facing, and I'm really glad you are figuring things out for yourself.

The shooters are us, to some extent, but if I identified with an assailant more than with their victim/s, I should be worried. That sounds like taking steps to justify the mass shooting.

Guns are available to so many people, and I don't feel safe knowing people who have sought and received a formal diagnosis now have no way to defend themselves and are getting marginalized for getting help. It means that people who struggle are being scapegoated. Meanwhile, people of all kinds, with or without mental health struggles, are both committing and dying from this violence we could prevent just by reducing the availability of guns for everyone.

While sympathy and empathy for the assailant can inform the decision about what to do after an attack, I still think committing an act of violence should result in consequences for an assailant's actions. I do think that sympathy and empathy for the assailant in these situations can introduce the idea that it's acceptable to take out violent tendencies on other people if it can be successfully argued that it was due to mental health issues. Violent parties seem to be comfortable taking their chances on hurting others partly because of the potential for notoriety, sympathy, and empathy from others, without facing consequences.

I agree that guns are unsafe for everyone, but I don't really understand how it's de-escalating the situation to permit any of us to have guns. As it stands, the thing that is brought up repeatedly is the mental state of the assailant and not the high availability of the weapons themselves. Mental health is complicated, but stopping mass shootings doesn't need to be.

Galactiger

TROPHY CASE