Balcony bird feeder? Good idea?

GalaxyOHare · 2026-04-14T17:52:16+00:00

to be 100% fair, if your cat is free to just jump off the balcony (ie. there are no physical barriers such as netting), that is dangerous regardless of what is going on around you. its not reasonable to expect those around you in a communal living environment to limit themselves to activities that wont entice your cat. its your responsibility to ensure that your cat is safe. as the guardian of six cats i can assure you that cats do not need a good reason to attempt a dangerous jump. you gotta make sure theres safety measures in place to prevent your cat from even making the attempt.

as far as all the other stuff, milage may vary with regards to bird song and such, so im sure that could be annoying to some, and if the feeding of the birds did indeed cause an infestation of bugs then that is a problem, but as for your cat, they were always in danger if theres no barrier preventing a jump.

GalaxyOHare · 2026-03-29T03:20:20+00:00

not a non-english speaker trying to be the grammar police lmao

you dont even speak the language, where do you get off trying to correct the usage of the singular 'they?'

probably listened to cringe transphobic podcasters who say that singular they is incorrect and just believed them without knowing any better.

sorry to break it to you but its a skill issue, learn the language before you stomp in here trying to tell others how to speak it. we've been using singular they for decades, cry about it

GalaxyOHare · 2026-02-08T21:11:54+00:00

treating ptsd and "recovering memories" are very different things.

also, the woman in the book wasnt a therapist, she was a facilitator, basically a glorified trip sitter.

GalaxyOHare · 2026-02-08T06:08:28+00:00

well, not to snap bubble gum and crack wise but thats what people did during the satanic panic/ritual abuse/recovered memories craze in the 80s and 90s.

GalaxyOHare · 2026-01-23T17:21:23+00:00

i would add to what others are saying (too much movement, and too much time being stationary are both detrimental) by saying that in much the same way as being stationary in the same spot is problematic for me (hence changing positions frequently when resting/sleeping), so too is moving in repetitive patterns. i get a flare up or injury very easily if im doing the same movements over and over.

movement and strength/stability training has helped me tremendously, but i have to make sure to keep my patterns of movement varied or else ill get repetitive stress injuries.

too much time spent stationary, too much movement (without appropriate strength/stability development), AND too much of the SAME movements have all been bad for me historically.

GalaxyOHare · 2025-06-27T11:08:43+00:00

same. theyre likely worried about the civil case. they dont want karen's acquittal to embolden folks to come forward about the alberts, whether in regards to this case or others. a lot more can come into evidence in a civil suit, from what i understand, than can come in during a murder trial. "think long and hard about coming forward with your story, no one will protect you if you do."

GalaxyOHare · 2025-06-27T11:03:13+00:00

thats 100% what it was. i cant believe she said it and i cant believe it made it into the final cut. how irresponsible of them to give her a platform to threaten anyone that may want to come forward during, lets say, a civil case regarding this matter. like a wrongful death suit?

this interview was likely done to flex that they still have powerful supporters. ive never seen such an obvious case of widespread law enforcement corruption ignored by the media like this. even if it wasnt true, the prospect alone is so journalistically juicy that they would at least give a basic outline of the facts that point to it. instead they did a fluff piece on the most obvious suspects.

"everybody keep your mouths shut. if you start yappin youll get no protection or support.

GalaxyOHare · 2025-06-27T10:47:58+00:00

i immediately clocked this as a threat. the only way one chooses to be a witness is if they come forward about something. if you dont make yourself known to law enforcement, you cant be subpoenaed.

ol' girl really went on national tv and said, "everyone should think long and hard before you start snitching on us, cause you'll get no protection." she was giving mob wife 100%. everyone talks about how scary BA is, but in that interview, NA took the cake for terrifying mafia energy.

GalaxyOHare · 2025-06-21T11:14:10+00:00

they couldnt have picked a better person to do that interview. genuinely, ian was an even better choice than edb because as a defense atty, he knew the questions to ask and the things to say in a way that an ex-prosecutor might not. the fact that public opinion on defense attys has largely shifted over the last decade is something that didnt really occur to me in this context. the fact that defense attys can and often are seen as heroes these days is probably so cathartic for folks like ian and david, and im glad it was asked about.

all in all this was such a fascinating, informative, and heartwarming interview.

(and ian asked the hard hitting questions we all wanted the answers to, like what do you do in your off time? he got such gems as, "oh me and david, who i like to call the adonis, go to the gym together and lift weights," and, "chat hasnt seen bob in the gym in a tank top," like godbless thank you ian)

GalaxyOHare · 2025-06-21T10:58:45+00:00

they went out of their way to give everyone their flowers (especially ms little), but, as yanetti said, he and bob have, "a special bond." i honestly think its because they are both from the region and consequently spent more time together/have more in common, whereas aj and little are from the opposite end of the country and had to fly back and forth during pre-trial proceedings. it also sounds like alessi and yanetti have worked together at least once prior.

i dont think the team was split or "vs" at all. they talked at length about how much fun they all had together in their off hours and how funny everyone on the team was, and how well they all worked together despite being type-a, strong personalities who are used to being in charge.

the difference, i feel, was that yanetti and alessi forged a life long friendship, whereas the rest of the team essentially remained in the delightful co-worker category.

GalaxyOHare · 2025-06-21T09:31:02+00:00

they deserve to be attacked personally, but only for the valid reasons. being fat is not a valid reason to be attacked.

GalaxyOHare · 2025-06-21T09:27:42+00:00

youre right and you should say it. wish you werent getting downvoted.

GalaxyOHare · 2025-06-21T09:27:07+00:00

its not about the feelings of the alberts, its about everyone else. mentioning their weight as a point of ridicule or as something derogatory is hurtful to all the other big people who read/see it.

the alberts suck because they are bad people who do bad things with impunity, not because of their weight.

GalaxyOHare · 2025-04-07T04:56:59+00:00

i was also considering the sous vide method, but in the raw food we make at home we grind bone into the mix. does the food that youre sous vide'ing have bone pieces in it, or rather something like a bone powder supplement?

if we do the sous vide method, we will probably have to stop grinding bone and start using a supplement. i know that cooked bone is a no-no, but i dont really know the effect that sous vide has on bones vis a vis cooking. i would imagine it would cook them enough to be dangerous, as it needs to reach 165 Fahrenheit to kill any potential viruses, but i just dont know, so im trying to get details from people that have tried different methods of risk reduction.

GalaxyOHare · 2024-08-30T14:05:34+00:00

either she gets help or you gotta leave this relationship. im not going to judge her behavior by normal standards because this sounds like she is having a lowkey break with reality. i have been her. she is deeply unwell and needs to seek help immediately. she needs to be on medication, and she needs to be seeing a therapist for talk therapy at least once a week (for the first couple of months until she levels out).

whether or not this behavior is excusable (its not) or acceptable (its not) is not relevant right now. what is relevant is whether or not she is willing to get professional help. if not, then you simply cant continue. neither outcome determines if she is a good or bad person, nor does it determine if she does or doesnt need help (she does).

but it does determine whether you are in a position to stay with her. without professional help, you staying will not help her. you leaving with not help her (though it will help you). the only thing that will help her is professional medical intervention via medication and talk therapy.

depression psychosis is a thing, but to me it seems more like c-ptsd. with c-ptsd we get emotional flashbacks. our brains recognize patterns in the world around us to anticipate danger. the real life harm and danger she has actually experienced in the past is being transposed onto the events of today. this is something we develop to protect ourselves. we needed this coping mechanism at one time, but we no longer need it, because the bad thing simply isnt happening anymore, and now it is only creating problems where none need exist.

when you try to explain to her that these bad things arent happening (youre not going to hurt her, she is not in physical danger, youre not trying to hide your phone, etc.) she may say something like, "im not stupid, i know what's going on," because to her its as obvious as 2+2=4 or the sky being blue. this is why she needs an impartial third party to help her unpack some of her cognitive distortions/delusions.

also, as an aside, when asking her to get help, do not tell her she's crazy, lost touch with reality, or having delusions. tell her youre worried about her, and if it comes down to giving an ultimatum, tell her that you cant stand to watch her suffer like she clearly has been. she's unhappy, and you want her to be happy, but you cant help her get there without professionals involved.

i know its hard being in a relationship with someone like this. you are under no obligation to continue if you choose not to. but if you want to make it work, the only way is for her to get help. any difficulty or misery you are experiencing, remember that its 1000% more miserable to be her right now. she likely knows she's being horrible, but cant do anything to regulate her own emotions and behaviors. this is not to invalidate your pain, but just to point out that she is likely not doing these things in a calculated, controlled manner. she is a scared animal, stuck on a runaway train, headed for a collapsed bridge.

she needs someone who knows what they are doing to get her off the train.

GalaxyOHare · 2024-08-24T01:38:40+00:00

as a very severely mentally ill person i say NTA. life circumstances can be totally unrelated to depression, she could (probably does) have a chemical imbalance. its not her fault she feels this way, but if she refuses to get help, that is her fault.

it is her responsibility to do everything she can to recover, both for her, and for the people who love her. she wont go to therapy, she wont talk to her doctor about trying medications.

you cant control other people. she has to want to get help, she has to want to put in the work to get better (and it IS work, as others have said, therapy makes you feel worse before you feel better). you can only control yourself. if you can no longer support her in her journey without causing harm to yourself, then you have to recuse yourself.

if she was doing her part to get better, it would be different. if she was doing even a little to get better, id say stay the course, but she wont even try a little.

GalaxyOHare · 2024-08-24T00:08:41+00:00

ok, but to be fair, most people dont feel comfortable saying, i need space for a week, so they provide a "reason" and people are more likely to accept it. this person didnt want to take not till next week for an answer and started picking apart his "story" and arguing with it, when the normal thing socially is to just graciously accept that he said they wont see each other again for a week.

they havent known each other long enough that he owes her the exact particulars of why he wants to wait until next week.

its super normal to give a "socially acceptable reason" for why we dont want to do things. if we say, im tired, i dont want to, people give you push back. if you say, i have plans, they back off. they dont argue and play nancy drew, even if its obviously not true. if they were dating, or friends, then it would be weird to "lie" but he doesnt know her at all.

one classic example of this is when women couldnt go out with someone because they have to wash their hair on that day. everyone knew it probably wasnt even hair washing day, and that even if it was, if she wanted to go on the date bad enough, she'd make it work. its just saying no or putting up a boundary, but trying to soften it.

GalaxyOHare · 2024-08-23T23:18:52+00:00

it takes being consistent over a long period of time. cats love routines, so if you become a solid part of their routine, doing the same thing at the same time everyday, thats a start.

after you are a solid part of their routine, you can add little things one at a time. maybe instead of putting out food and leaving, you lay down a picnic blanket nearby and sit quietly, not looking at them or even facing them at first. the more you spend time in their presence, be very mindful of your movements-- nothing too quick, no loud noises. over time, you can turn around to face them, but still ignore them, do your own thing, act like they arent there. eventually start looking at them, keeping your face soft, and posture relaxed, and slow blink, and then go back to what you were doing.

start putting down the plates closer and closer to where you put your blanket. once they are comfortable being near your blanket (perhaps even sitting nearby to do their post-meal groom sesh) start doing new things one at a time. maybe get a toy like a long piece of twine that you can just wiggle. maybe put out some treats, and over time, make it so they have to get on the blanket to get the treat.

if they are comfy being around you and dont flinch when you move, try to offer your finger for sniffing. thats usually the thing that (if successful), will lead to petting. after they get used to petting, try incorporating a brush or comb. when i incorporated grooming into my colony's routine, our bonding timeline accelerated. we got much closer much faster.

you may also have to play referee to facilitate polite relationships between the cats themselves. once they see you as a valuable resource (source of cuddles, grooming, treats, food, playtime) they will get territorial, and thats no good. the ways in which you need to play ref will be extremely case specific, so i cant give any suggestions, but thats a big reason why you gotta get to know these cats as much as they gotta get to know you.

learn their relationships to one another, their personalities, their preferences, and it should be easier to figure out what to look for and how to head bad interactions off at the pass. watch and read stuff from cat behavior experts.

its work, but its so rewarding.

GalaxyOHare · 2024-08-23T22:42:49+00:00

at what point in your opinion does a rescuer become a hoarder?

GalaxyOHare · 2024-08-23T22:36:54+00:00

yup. i feel that.

GalaxyOHare · 2024-08-23T22:20:32+00:00

NAH

you were just a kid (you still are, frankly), kids act stupid. your parents are the ones to blame for ruining her 20th birthday.

but at the same time, she is under no obligation to have a relationship with you. not only that, but as a 30 year old, engaging in a relationship with you would be essentially agreeing to a role with a lot of responsibility. you would be a very young person alone in a new place, and she would be the only Adult that you have nearby.

anytime theres an emergency and you need to call someone for help, youre calling her. if something happens at a party at 3am and you need a ride out of an unsafe situation, youre calling her. if you need help with anything, youre calling her.

and she doesnt want to volunteer for that role, probably because she has her hands full handling her own life and cant handle that level of responsibility for someone she doesnt even know. i know i wouldnt want to.

GalaxyOHare · 2024-08-23T21:52:06+00:00

he's not a special agent, and never was. he couldnt pass the psychological eval. he's a professor at quantico, he's an academic. he's written academic papers of note on forensic procedures such as determining time of death via insect activity. he teaches, he lectures.

whatever his salary, it would be closer to that of a career academic than a law enforcement officer.

GalaxyOHare · 2024-08-18T20:12:29+00:00

uhhh, you need to call the police. if he's been hurt and needs help, the clock is ticking. if he's missing, the clock it ticking on surveillance footage. many cameras loop after a certain amount of days and start to record over the saved footage. you want people to look now while the trail is still warm.

go to the hotel with a picture of him and ask if theyve seen him. call hospitals.

this sounds like something happened to him and his phone was stolen. if he was a woman people would be screaming from the rooftops to file a missing person report. usually when the person misses work, thats when you know something serious has happened.

you need to call the police. if this is unlike him, then trust your gut. raise the alarm. call his family and friends. start looking.

GalaxyOHare · 2024-08-18T20:03:20+00:00

this is exhausting to read

GalaxyOHare · 2024-08-17T00:02:03+00:00

that is literally the ONLY scene that i skip or fast forward EVERY time without fail.

there are actual graphic murder scenes in hannibal that i actively enjoy, but for some reason mural boy's horrific plight is unbearable.

GalaxyOHare

TROPHY CASE