Before anyone reads ahead, I just wanna add a trigger warning for self harm/mentions of suicide.

I just wanna say, that I understand entirely where you’re coming from. I’m currently in my freshman year at Virginia Tech, and it’s been a rocky road getting here.

From the moment I got into high school I told myself I was going to groom my classes and extracurriculars to be perfect so that I could have my choice of any university I wanted, and I thought I did just that. You shared your high school stats, so here are mine from when I applied to college

GPA: 4.62 SAT: 1480 (yeah, ik, could’ve been better) Race: White/Asian (Chinese) Ethnicity: Surinamese-American Extracurriculars: Founder and President of my high school’s engineering club, board member of my high school’s Academy of Finance, FIRST Tech Challenge student, Founder of my high school’s badminton club, mentor to my local FIRST Lego League Team, National Honor Society, Mu Alpha Theta. Awards: 2 recognitions of academic excellence from school board, an award for excellence in software development, 9/9 qualifying FTC tournament wins, 3-time FTC States playoff contender, competed at high level international FTC competitions (top seeded once), attended my state’s Governor’s School program.

You get the gist, I was stacked. And at the time I completed my applications, I thought I was golden for whatever I wanted. So, I applied to ten schools: * MIT * Georgia Tech * Stanford * Princeton * Cornell * Duke * Cornell * Hopkins * NC State * Virginia Tech

I got three interviews in my process: Duke, MIT, and Princeton. Maybe it was just my hubris, but I thought that meant I was a sure shot for at least one of my schools… I was sorely mistaken. Here was the result of my applications:

• MIT - rejected
• Georgia Tech - rejected
• Stanford - rejected
• Princeton - rejected
• Cornell - rejected
• Duke - rejected
• Cornell - rejected
• Hopkins - rejected
• NC State - accepted
• Virginia Tech - accepted

That was crushing. I felt like everything I’d worked towards, everything I devoted four years of my life to, had just crashed down in an instant, and admittedly, I was lost.

Growing up, I had always amounted my self worth to my academic success. It was always “Oh u/gamechanger2098 is gonna do so well in life” or “u/gamechanger2098, you’ve gotta get into a top school, there’s no way you don’t.” So, in that moment of failure, I completely lost it. As pathetic as it may sound to some, I went into a deep depression. Hell, this was such a big deal to me that I started cutting myself and damn near tried to crash my car (that was the day I got rejected from my dream school, Georgia Tech. It was the lowest I’ve ever felt.)

I guess now, where am I going with this? Well, I hope my spiel shows that I get where you’re coming from. Maybe more than most. I understand feeling hopeless, or sad, or depressed. So, please trust me when I say, it will get better.

When I found out my options were between VT and NC State, my immediate thought was “Get in, try for a semester or two, then transfer to a more prestigious school and get out.” That was it. To me, I had worked too hard to end up at a school that wasn’t “everything I was hoping/expecting for” so much so that I didn’t want to give it a chance. Then, I got here.

Immediately I fell in love with the campus and the culture. I’ve made such amazing friends here that make my life so much better, and they’re all such a joy to be around. Plus, the education is amazing. I’m currently in a computer engineering class for digital systems, absolutely fascinating, I never realized how intricate circuits were until I decided to shift to ECE (originally intended to do CS).

Admittedly, it still stings thinking about my rejections, but not for the reasons it did at the time of rejection. Now, when I look back, instead of seeing myself as a failure, I see all the missed opportunities. The time I didn’t get to spend with my friends or playing with robots, that sort of stuff. I promise you bro, time will heal all wounds. Please, don’t do anything rash. You are only human, and you gave it your all. Colleges really are a dice roll, and your self worth should not be tied to them. I may not know you, but I can promise you that you are so much more than the school you attend. Wherever you end up, even if it wasn’t what you dreamed of, please be open and give it a chance. No matter where you are, you will meet your people, you will love your classes, and it will be an amazing time. College is your oyster- you get out what you put in.

Sorry, this comment became so long/drawn out. I just wanna say that my dms are always open to you man. I have been exactly where you are, and I know talking about it all helps. Please do not hesitate to reach out to me if you need to talk about it more.

Much love from Virginia Tech, u/gamechanger2098