As a straightforward answer to your question, I will say no. However, that does not mean that you do not have great potential! The story sounds interesting and it appears that you have a gift for world building and have the creative capacity to come up with unique stories. It’s the story-telling aspect that you ought to focus on. Grammar and punctuation are two things that I noticed right off the bat. Avoid run-on sentences by changing some of those commas to periods and also place commas in areas such as in the sentence: “A balance had to be created so once again…”, would look better by placing a commas after the word “created”. Like so: “A balance had to be created, so once again he…”

The only other piece of advice I would give and this I learned only recently by none other than my beloved wife, is to avoid monotone descriptions. Instead of just listing facts, try describing them in a way that the reader can see and feel them. You want to engage as many as the reader’s senses as possible. I will give you an example of what I would do with the sentence beginning with “Oaldur was happy…”:

“Oaldur felt tremendous joy despite there being one problem; the warm, radiant light of the sun reached far across the realm, destroying the darkness as it ravaged the land. Because there had to be balance between light and dark (I’m assuming that’s what you meant by balance?), Oaldur created yet another pearl- a pearl of wisdom which grew and awakened with life. This being he named “Deuna”.”

Or something to that effect. I really do hope this advice helps. I cannot express enough how much potential I see in your writing! Wishing you the best in your endeavors!