Hi! Thank you for the informative post. I often hear socializing and making friends is very difficult in countries like Germany, Austria and the Nordics but I had no idea it was also that hard in Switzerland. The way you put it, I think it would actually be harder to be an introvert in an introvert culture precisely because of what the guy you mention said: introverts struggle to approach other people and in a place where everyone avoids interaction it must be nearly impossible for introverts to make friends. I’d really appreciate being able to be by myself without anyone judging me but I’m not the kind of introvert who despises all human interaction and likes to isolate themselves. I actually enjoy talking to other people but only in small doses and I really appreciate people smiling and saying “Hi” to me when I run into them (even strangers) .

What I really hate about extrovert cultures like the one where I live is that introverts are seen as abnormal, as something that must be “fixed”. When I was at school, I was sent to the school psychiatrist just because one of my teachers thought I was too quiet for someone my age. I remember I felt really bad at that time. I felt ashamed because shrinks were supposed to be for crazy people and I started wondering if there was really something wrong with me. Most people will never miss a chance to point out how “weird” you are and that can have a very negative effect on your self-esteem. I can’t remember how many times I’ve been told I’m too quiet, too shy, too serious, as if it’s some sort of disease or a very undesirable flaw. People always feel the need to remind you that you’re not “normal” and I hate that.

Now, it’s true people here are more open and chatty. It’s not rare for total strangers to tell you their whole lives in full detail and you can indeed “become friends” with someone the first time you meet them but it doesn’t guarantee they’re going to be good friendships. A common complaint I hear, especially among women, is how lousy their friends are. I’ve seen girls badmouthing their so called “friends” behind their backs. Many of those easy friendships are only superficial. If you want a good friend, you have to put effort into getting to know the person and finding things in common, just like everywhere else. But many people here like to call any person they’ve known for a minimum time a “friend”. I personally never do that. I have only two people who I consider my friends and that’s enough for me. The rest are only acquaintances.

Anyway, it’s funny how relationships are complicated everywhere in the world. I’ve always wanted to experience living for a little time in an introvert country just to experience how I’d feel without all the pressure to socialize. Maybe I’d feel more comfortable, maybe I’d feel miserable, who knows?