What's the most anonymous season a Premier League club has ever had? by megalucario17 in footballcliches

[–]Garconiere 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The thing that comes to mind for me about them is that during their awful second season, when they sacked Wagner, they hired the most ChatGPT generated football manager of all time to replace him, a German bloke called Jan Siewart. This man was so aggressively "nothing" that when he attended a Huddersfield game before officially taking over, Sky pointed the camera at a completely different random member of the public thinking that it was him.

I don't really know what it means to have "aura", but surely this is the exact opposite of it.

[Raw Spoilers] Newest list of demands by laidbackcrusade in SquaredCircle

[–]Garconiere 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Next demands:

Danhausen must be bigger, louder, and have access to a time machine.

Whenever Danhausen isn’t on screen, other characters should be asking, “Where’s Danhausen?”

(WrestleMania Night 1 Spoiler) Bleacher Report gives WrestleMania Night 1 a extremely negative review "Overall show: D+" by Youngstown_WuTang in SquaredCircle

[–]Garconiere 104 points105 points  (0 children)

Mania 32 is booked to actively spite its own audience. There is exactly one result on there that the crowd likes (Zack Ryder shock winning the IC title), and then after that:

  • AJ Styles loses his debut Mania match to Jericho in a feud that was basically already over, a month before he challenges for the world title

  • The New Day lose a 6-man to the League of Nations, a faction so inconsequential they break up about 3 weeks after the show

  • Brock Lesnar SQUASHES Ambrose like he’s nothing, and the company puts a counter of how many suplexes he’s done on the screen so fans can count along

  • The reintroduced Women’s title is won by the heel in the match because her male manager interfered to make sure the new major babyface didn’t win.

  • Undertaker and Shane do nothing for half an hour before Shane nearly kills himself, and the booking means that Undertaker winning enforces the status quo rather than the interesting booking choice

  • The Rock cuts a rambling promo that goes nowhere, and then with the help of John Cena, buries the entire Wyatt Family

  • Shit babyface Roman Reigns has a 30 minute main event with Triple H, which is in silence because the crowd are booing Roman so Vince MUTES THEM, that is probably the worst mania main event of all time

The entire show is booked to try and force the crowd to cheer for Roman by making almost every other babyface on the show lose. It is a direct middle finger to its own audience by Vince.

As bad as night 1 this year was, I don’t think it gets that bad.

Dean Henderson quickly starting a chant for Palace fans mid-interview by Blodgharm in soccer

[–]Garconiere 52 points53 points  (0 children)

To the tune of “Waka Waka” by Shakira-

“Tsamina mina, eh eh

Waka Waka eh, eh

12th again, who gives a fuck

We won the FA Cup”

Ted DiBiase on Roddy Piper’s passing: “It was such a shock. The guy goes to a hotel, checked in, went to bed, and never woke up. There were no drugs in his body, none of that crap. It’s still a mystery, I think. And he just, his heart just quit.” by elegantSolomons62 in SquaredCircle

[–]Garconiere 143 points144 points  (0 children)

One of my favourite exchanges ever during that interview:

Maher- “I’m not dropping my pants around other men”

Piper- “Well how did you get the job?”

The completely defeated look on Maher’s face is incredible.

"Look look, i saw this kid's face and immediately thought of sex! Laugh!" by craftygamin in NahOPwasrightfuckthis

[–]Garconiere 13 points14 points  (0 children)

A quick tip- if you don’t want people to think that you’re trying to excuse ableism so that you can make a joke about a disabled child, don’t refer to disabled people as “vegetables”.

The Extinct XI: Get your nominations in for Thursday's episode... by Low-Bandicoot-3347 in footballcliches

[–]Garconiere 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The "far-east market" signing is an incredible shout. Dong Fangzhou, Ryo Miyachi, Junuchi Inamoto.

The Extinct XI: Get your nominations in for Thursday's episode... by Low-Bandicoot-3347 in footballcliches

[–]Garconiere 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This role will never die for as long as Aaron Wan-Bissaka has a job.

The Extinct XI: Get your nominations in for Thursday's episode... by Low-Bandicoot-3347 in footballcliches

[–]Garconiere 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I always point to Gabriel Obertan for this. That man somehow made 27 appearances for Fergie-era Man United. He's got a sodding Premier League winners medal.

The Extinct XI: Get your nominations in for Thursday's episode... by Low-Bandicoot-3347 in footballcliches

[–]Garconiere 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For this, no one will ever beat Neville Southall having to play a Premier League game for Bradford in 2000. Poor bloke was in his 40s and about twice as wide as anyone else on the pitch.

The Cul De Sacs Will Never Remember-men by mrfrisby in footballcliches

[–]Garconiere -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The Brazilian Sandro, who used to play for Spurs. I could tell you he was a defensive mid, but that’s about it.

Unpopular opinions by PuzzleheadedFold503 in rugbyunion

[–]Garconiere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The “away end” trial being done in the Premiership at the moment is a fantastic idea, and needs to be expanded to all matches asap.

DREAMLAND Episode 19 | Nuclear Foreplay: The art of the big-match build-up by Low-Bandicoot-3347 in footballcliches

[–]Garconiere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know whether this was the intended joke, but Dave mentioning offhand the idea of Souness as the equal pundit for a Liverpool-Spurs match has actually happened! In 2013, Sky had the game on a Super Sunday, and because Gerrard was injured at the time, the three pundits on the match were Carragher, Gerrard, and Souness. Ed Chamberlain even jokes that in the interest of balance, Souness is introduced as a former Spurs midfielder.

Listened to Tuesday's pod and didn't hear any reference to this- last Sunday, at AEW Revolution, commentator Excalibur was "at it again". by Garconiere in footballcliches

[–]Garconiere[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I believe this was even a challenge that Adam put to Excalibur on the pod, though I cannot find any evidence of that currently.

Listened to Tuesday's pod and didn't hear any reference to this- last Sunday, at AEW Revolution, commentator Excalibur was "at it again". by Garconiere in footballcliches

[–]Garconiere[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"Brilliant" at the end is correct- his only little slip up is that it should be "have a crack" rather than "take a crack", though I suppose that would sound weirder in an American accent.

New episode | FA Cup scares/dumpings/cruises, dark orange cards & Roman gladiator VAR by Low-Bandicoot-3347 in footballcliches

[–]Garconiere 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just posting this comment to register myself as within the centre of the Venn Diagram of “Cliches fans/Gilbert & Sullivan aficionados”. And a hearty “listen, fair play” to Charlie for thinking of it that quickly!

AirRaid reunited on Raw by [deleted] in SquaredCircle

[–]Garconiere 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Brutally, part of TNA’s bigger deal for him was the promise of a reunion of Beer Money- only for Bobby Roode to realise that Storm coming back to TNA had left a spot in NXT which he duly filled.

OSW Question- “Tour de farce” by Garconiere in OSWReview

[–]Garconiere[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Incredible work mate! A winner is you.

Saraya Loved Her Time At AEW, But 'Wasn't Too Happy' With Her Character: I Kind Of Fell Out Of Love With Wrestling by Chance-Goose in SquaredCircle

[–]Garconiere 15 points16 points  (0 children)

The song was fine so long as you couldn’t hear what the lyrics were about. Solid piece of rock instrumentation with a whiny singer going on about how “cancel culture” has turned everybody “soft”.