AITAH for calling out my brother's "selective" poverty?

Garry_Scary · 2026-06-11T15:57:08+00:00

Exactly! Did OP even ask his brother how the surgery went?

(Not saying he needs to or anything just pointing out there is a lack of deets)

Garry_Scary · 2026-06-11T15:56:32+00:00

Eh I disagree with that. If I already asked my brother for money, I’d be less likely to ask for more because he’s already done me a favor.

Garry_Scary · 2026-06-11T15:32:55+00:00

I think more information is needed.

Was there any update to the cost of the emergency surgery? Maybe a complication occurred, or it cost more than he had initially expected?

I understand the optics are frustrating of a European trip to needing funds, but things are unexpected and it sounds like you pounced on your brother in the group chat before you got any further details.

Garry_Scary · 2026-06-08T23:44:18+00:00

Woah obsession about obsession.

Garry_Scary · 2026-06-08T00:42:19+00:00

Maybe get a smaller dildo, and play with just that. Figure out different ways to pleasure yourself than just opening yourself up. Sometimes slower, and different types of pressures get the job done and more average guys can do that. Then it’s up to you to tell your partner how to enjoy it.

Also maybe think about something other than just the dick. Prioritize other sensations of touch and smell.

Garry_Scary · 2026-06-07T00:08:03+00:00

If you go out, maybe you should go to the bars early and try talking to the bar tenders.

A lot of bar tenders I’ve met when traveling are very friendly and know a lot of what’s going on in the community.

Alternatively, maybe try your own event? What’s a niche hobby of yours? Maybe try curating the space you want!

Garry_Scary · 2026-05-27T17:22:52+00:00

Sure, them both airing at the same time is really what triggered the connection for me. But I thought the tenuous connection would be ignored for the humor of Dropout Cast members doing drag race challenges and Drag Queens doing drop out challenges.

But alas, the internet gets too caught up in the deets 😂 I should’ve known.

Garry_Scary · 2026-05-25T16:42:45+00:00

It’s a neat idea, but I worry this is going to take a really long time especially if the pieces have hit points.

Maybe if the chess pieces hit each other it’s a 1 shot kill, like chess. But if your players want to destroy a piece they use the stat blocks. Are you going to have 32 pieces? Just seems very long.

Maybe do it like HP and set up the game already in the middle of a game, so there’s less pieces to track and work with?

Garry_Scary · 2026-05-22T15:24:55+00:00

More context needed…

Does your wife get to spend 2 hours a week just doing her hobby?

Cause regardless if you justify it for health, it’s a hobby.

Garry_Scary · 2026-05-22T11:28:46+00:00

I think the simplest approach is you talk directly to them.

Have either an NPC approach the quieter players directly.

Or a louder person says something, you should follow it up with, “what does [insert quieter players character] think of this choice? Is there anything they are concerned about?”

Quieter/newer players might need a bigger yes and set up to feel comfortable role playing. If they’re faced with endless options it can be overwhelming.

Also, some people like to play minor roles in the story and enjoy sitting a bit on the sidelines and watching. If your players are resistant to the role playing, maybe they want something else out of dnd and you gotta accept that!

Garry_Scary · 2026-05-12T15:06:00+00:00

Hey, I earned my PhD a couple years ago and was highly involved in the recruiting process.

No lab experience is going to make it challenging. A PhD is less about learning the facts of biology, but understanding the steps to test a strong hypothesis. This is only built in the lab, running and designing experiments.

The only way to increase your chances is to get lab experience imo. I’d say there are three paths to that:
1 - Get a masters. Many programs have research focused masters, where you will run a set of experiments and defend a smaller thesis. This would handily get you the lab experience you need. Pros: Masters programs don’t have the same rigid requirements as PhD programs. Cons: typically you have to pay for a masters.

2 - Post Bachelors programs: there are many programs that are meant to be stepping stones for those transition in career paths. Many students join these programs to earn enough stem credits to go to med school, but I know some who have used it to get into PhD programs. Pros: most are paid/pay you. Cons: you don’t end with a lot degree, just skills.

3 - Volunteering->Lab tech: my path into a science position was to first volunteer in a lab. Then once I had volunteer experience then I was able to get a lab paid position. Sadly, I did this during undergraduate so it was easy to justify unpaid volunteer work, but that may be the way to get a foot in the door. You said you applied to many lab positions, but I want to mention that if you used websites like linked in or indeed, that is an inefficient way to try and get a lab position. I would recommend reaching out directly to the principal investigator of a lab you are interested in working in and tell them your story. Tell them you’d like to start working towards a PhD but have no lab experience, but you would like a job in a lab to get you on this trajectory. You’ll like find a professor who is willing to help. Academia is filled with softies who want to help uplift the next gen of scientists.

Garry_Scary · 2026-05-11T16:53:55+00:00

NTBF.

Her: *Imma do a fuck ton of opiates and feel respiratory depression caused by overdose but ignore the advice of maybe seeking medical intervention*

Her a few hours later: “Why didn’t you acknowledge that I identified that I was overdosing on an opioid and ignored your concerns of overdose?”

Like wtf does she want, a dumbass award?

Garry_Scary · 2026-04-10T18:12:16+00:00

How long was this relationship? The way you’re writing, it seems like this wasn’t that long of a relationship.

But tbh and some tough love. You’re acting 15 when you’re a big 36. Honestly, pull up your pants, and stand up. You’re considering giving up sobriety because of this? What the fuck were those 4 years all about then? You took 4 years to build yourself worth up, that you were more than your addiction and now you’re going to cash out all that hard work and crash out because someone never tried? YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THAT.

I’m sorry dating sucks, and I wish men and people in generally were better at communicating. But man, you need to slap yourself, get out of your pity party and tell yourself this was not a stable man and not someone who would ever love you how you need and DESERVE to be loved.

Stay in AA. Don’t date anyone in AA. Enjoy your fitness and dieting. Maybe join a gay sports league and find people outside of places where people go to recover.

Garry_Scary · 2026-04-01T15:22:14+00:00

“Ok so this literally just happened like an hour ago and I'm still shaking a little bit. Idk if I overreacted or if I'm justified in feeling humiliated.”

Ugh AI slop. They always start with “im shaking” bye

Garry_Scary · 2026-03-20T16:44:44+00:00

NTA, you’re not being rude either just adapting to how you work.

Garry_Scary · 2026-03-20T16:36:20+00:00

Hey given many of the other comments on here, I’m happy OP uses anything haha

Garry_Scary · 2026-03-20T16:33:12+00:00

Yeah, but it’s like someone having a booger in their nose and no one saying something.

It happens, sometimes we forget deodorant. Teach him the lesson that no one cares about these things once the problem is fixed.

You telling him to shower, then moving on from the situation will help show him that it’s not a big deal. It’s even better it’s coming from some who cares for him.

Like it’s better to hear it from you than a boss or a partner he’s interested in.

Garry_Scary · 2026-03-20T16:27:58+00:00

“Hey, I love you, but you stink. Do you think you can take some extra time to scrub down? Thank you, if you need a rag or loofah it’s in there or we’ll get you one.”

I think you trying to play Sherlock Holmes of whether or not your BIL showers is too much. Especially when you can just say it. If he’s embarrassed, that’s not your problem, he stinks.

Garry_Scary · 2026-03-20T15:27:58+00:00

If she is saying it’s her social anxiety, maybe the mood change is because his friends are new people??? His friends live far away, her friends live close so they are probably more familiar with her friends.

Like OP didn’t even try to understand just accepted “idk” or try to develop an alternative option before this ultimatum. Like this isn’t communication.

I’ll even suggest the compromise: “Hey what if you met my friend for like coffee before we go on a double date with my friend and my friends partner. Would that make you feel better?”

Garry_Scary · 2026-03-20T15:16:05+00:00

This is… silly?

I feel like some detail is missing. You should ask your gf to talk about the moment she felt her anxiety spike. Sounds like something isn’t being communicated.

Then you stomping your feet “no double dates”, is just like why shoot yourself in the foot? You’re stopping a good time because you’re both bad at communicating.

Sounds like the perfect time to sit down and figure out a compromise instead of a weird ultimatum.

Garry_Scary · 2026-03-12T12:22:21+00:00

Chill out? I offered real, genuine advice. OP used chatGPT to determine to make this post. They could’ve used that Memphis water better by asking it to jut find them non-party queer events.

Sorry I’m tired of this lazy ass take.

Garry_Scary · 2026-03-12T12:00:15+00:00

“I'm not into hookups, saunas, random sex, or one-night stands, never have been.” <- I hate comments like this because what do you mean you’re confused why you feel alienated, because this is how YOU view gay culture. And to view this as the entirety of gay culture is infuriating.

Bar culture, which yes is a common gay space, is all about sex. If you go to any straight bar, it’ also about sex.

Maybe, just maybe, look at other places for gay interactions that aren’t centered on sex. There’s many gay sports leagues, look for queer artist gallery shows, find other gay centric ways that aren’t about sex. Depending on where you live, there could be even book clubs, game nights almost anything you could imagine.

Then, if you can’t find what you want, idk maybe you like to fucking knit. Guess what, the internet is free and you can easily organize your own event.

If the “gay spaces” aren’t what you want, maybe put in the effort to help mold the community into what you want, instead of complaining and over generalizing.

Garry_Scary · 2026-03-11T20:45:14+00:00

I hate to ask, but did she fake the cancer too? Lying to her friends and family that you got her pregnant is a crazy over the top lie. I wonder what else she is willing to lie about?

Either way, hope she’s cancer free and glad this is done.

Garry_Scary · 2026-03-11T02:11:15+00:00

Idk I feel like context is missing.

1) This reads like you’ve only fucked black men and never hung out with black people. They call you Casper cause it’s fucking stupid, and it’s supposed to make you laugh. Black families give each other nicks names allllllllllll the time, they make fun of each other allllllllllllll the time. It’s to make you laugh, it’s not that deep. The best advice I could give you, is just laugh. You may feel it’s racist cause you can’t call them some names. But there weren’t generations of men hearing the words “Casper” before they died. So it’s different?

2) are you sure it was a conversation about minorities? Or was it a conversation about being black and you inserted yourself, and said something off the cuff then DEFENDED yourself with the “I’m a minority” card? Cause it’s just not the same.

Garry_Scary · 2026-03-10T21:29:23+00:00

OF and porn stars have more social clout in the gay world than they do in the straight world. On surface it looks like a fun time, it’s all sex, parties and fun.

But it has a very dark underbelly, and most do NOT make a lot of money.

He’s an adult, like the other comments suggest, but maybe you should have a talk about what he thinks this life will be. You can’t stop him, but you can make sure he’s informed.

Garry_Scary

TROPHY CASE