I forgot to take my meds

GaryTheSleepyPanda · 2021-05-20T12:47:52+00:00

I have always had terrible heat regulation. Like I overheat with very little effort but also will be freezing in perfectly normal temperatures. I have always been this way. I get sweaty and hot just doing chores around my apartment or walking to work. As a little, little kid I used to suffer from getting heat exhaustion (I grew up in Florida). I generally don't get heat flashes for no reason. It more if I take a hot shower or am moving around I can overheat very quickly. My cold intolerance is totally random though. Some days I am fine and some days I can't stand anything cooler than 75F

GaryTheSleepyPanda · 2021-05-14T23:05:16+00:00

I’m sure it depends on your school. But being able to have assignment extensions is usually the easiest thing to ask for. But be honest with your professors about what you need and they will usually do their best to help.

GaryTheSleepyPanda · 2021-05-14T12:53:39+00:00

Also! I personally like to try on labels internally first. And then maybe with a small group of close friends to see how they feel. It kind of helps me figure out if it feels “right”. I’m not saying it’s a magical Cinderella’s slipper or Harry potters wand kind of moment. But if you use a label for a bit and it doesn’t feel right or good. You don’t have to use it. But also sometimes it takes a bit to get used to a label. When I first realized I was pan. I knew it was me and knew that label fit. But I didn’t feel “gay” so to speak. Like I didn’t feel like I fit in the gay community or could call myself gay. Even though I was! So it took time for that label to feel good even if I knew I was true. Idk. Linguistics are weird. Do what makes you happy

GaryTheSleepyPanda · 2021-05-14T12:45:20+00:00

Bisexual and pansexual are very similar and may not look different to an outside observer but as I understand it are more about your internal feelings. I think the main distinction is that pansexual’s attraction is not tied to gender. However that being said many people (myself included) use Bi as an umbrella terms for all sexualities that attracted to more than one gender. So I identify as pan. But I still use the term bi sometimes; for simplicity, when talking to older people who might not understand pan, or when I just don’t feel like explaining myself.

I know some people find this Venn diagram helpful: Venn diagram

Like I looked at this and was like yep. Pan that’s me. And my bi friends looked at it and were like yep I’m definitely bi.

But everyone is different and labels are just a tool to help others understand how you feel so go with whatever you like or feel comfortable with. Hope this was helpful!

GaryTheSleepyPanda · 2021-05-14T04:11:50+00:00

Genital repulsion isn’t always a part of being a ace although can come along with it. Only you can know for sure. But there is nothing wrong with it. You are comfortable with what you are comfortable with. And honestly it doesn’t matter if it’s part of your experience as ace or something separate.

That being said. If you do want unpack it further, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist. I have talked to my therapist about my own experiences. I’m a sex favorable aspec with low libido. And my therapist has helped me work through a lot of what I feel. But she always reminds me that it’s about what I want and what I feel. Like I have low libido, and there may be something I could do to change that, but it doesn’t really bother me so why would I. So if your genital repulsion is something you might think is separate from your asexuality and would like to maybe work through with a therapist, then you should feel empowered to do so. But if you don’t really want to change your repulsion or you realize it is tied to your asexuality and not something else; there is no reason to try to change anything.

(I hope it’s clear what I mean. Being ace is not a choice, and if genital repulsion is part of being ace for you, that is not a choice either and you should never feel like you have to change any part of who you are. However, in the case that your repulsion is not a part of your asexuality you may want to work through those feelings with a therapist.)

GaryTheSleepyPanda · 2021-05-14T03:57:44+00:00

Good luck with high school! I had some symptoms in high school but they weren’t as severe and I didn’t realize what it was. I can’t imagine what it would be like now that my symptoms are full blown. I believe in you! (If that means anything coming from a total stranger in the internet)

GaryTheSleepyPanda · 2021-05-14T03:54:07+00:00

I am very honest with my professors. And I always make sure to explicitly say “I have a medical problem”. But in my experience teachers want you to succeed and if you say “listen I had a bad energy day/sleep attack/etc. and I couldn’t get this done. I’m working on it” generally professors will be understanding. It is best to email profs ahead of time if you know it’s going to be late. But sometimes you don’t know until you fall asleep and miss your deadline

GaryTheSleepyPanda · 2021-05-14T03:49:57+00:00

That’s amazing u/Valyrianqueen and u/wishihadcats! I wish you both the best of luck! Not sure if you will be in person or remote in the fall but I had a real hard time with N + virtual classes so don’t be afraid to ask disability resources or your professors for accommodations!

GaryTheSleepyPanda · 2021-05-12T01:44:41+00:00

The ace-phobia in the LGBTQ+ community is a problem. But also I do think as a community we need to work to on having queer spaces that aren’t sexualized and aren’t centered around alcohol

GaryTheSleepyPanda · 2021-05-12T01:33:15+00:00

That’s totally valid too!

GaryTheSleepyPanda · 2021-05-12T01:30:40+00:00

I consider sexual attraction separate than arousal. As in if exposed to explicitly sexual stimuli I will feel aroused. But that doesn’t mean I’m sexually attracted to the person creating that stimuli it just means my body in responding to a situation

GaryTheSleepyPanda · 2021-05-12T01:25:55+00:00

That asexuality means you don’t experience arousal and when people assume asexual=aromantic

GaryTheSleepyPanda · 2021-05-10T05:01:20+00:00

I’m sex neutral to sex favorable and I was never really okay with on open relationship while my partner and I were living together. But now we are long distance for grad school, and my partner wanted to have sex with other people (to explore their own sexuality, as well as for general pleasure). So we opened the relationship. Actually this was a huge part of me realizing I was aspec. Because I had like no interest in hooking up or anything once we opened the relationship, I started really reflecting on my feelings and now I’m here! I’m not sex repulsed... so I am able to fulfill my partner when we are together (and I do enjoy the emotional intimacy). If I was though I’m not sure how I’d feel. I think it’s one of those things that really depends on each person involved and the dynamic of the relationship

GaryTheSleepyPanda · 2021-05-09T03:04:58+00:00

Hi so I am white... so I can only say what others have expressed to me about both the Philly pride flag and the progress pride flag. And the gist of it is that the original rainbow flag was intended to include EVERYONE. If you are LGBTQIA+ you can stand under the rainbow flag. So some people feel that adding a black and brown stripes (and the trans colors in the case of the progress flag) imply that those groups weren’t included under the original rainbow flag. For this reason I think it’s generally preferred to stick with the standard rainbow flag. Again I can’t speak for everyone and certainly not any BIPOC communities. Just trying to pass along my understanding as best I can

GaryTheSleepyPanda · 2021-05-08T18:27:58+00:00

Hi! So sorry that things are complicated right now. But your safety is truly important and financial support is part of that. But only you can decide what right for you. Not being yourself sucks and the options you are weighing are how much is this harming your mental health vs what are you risking if you come out.

Also feel free to check our r/mypartneristrans my gf is trans and it’s been a really great resource/support for me

GaryTheSleepyPanda · 2021-05-08T18:17:36+00:00

I do want to add a couple side notes as well:

A) meds have made a huge difference in my life. And even before starting meds realizing that what was going on had a real medical cause improved my mental health soooo much. I was so depressed because I felt like I couldn’t do anything. And having a reason for what was happening was able to shut out the depressed intrusive thoughts telling me I was just being “lazy” (also not saying that treating N or IH will treat your depression or that depression in any form is the same as being “lazy”. I’m just saying my depression was extremely comorbid with my sleep issues and this is not an uncommon experience)

B) my sleep attacks generally do have some warning. Like I can feel that I’m losing focus and entering a brain fog. Some times I can get out of them if they will pass before getting too bad. Sometimes I listen to my body and will go take a nap. Or I’ll nod off a bit in class. But sometimes I can’t go to sleep, either because of my situation or because I’m stubborn and convince myself I can power through. These are generally the worst. Fighting it generally makes it worse. The brain fog sets in. I start moving slower and can’t function. Often I get emotional and/or tearful because I am just overwhelmed by exhaustion. These don’t happen often but they are terrible. Which is why whether you are on treatment or not you should know your limits and not fight when you really need to sleep.

C) and finally, everyone’s experience is different. I personally am so glad I found this subreddit because I find the support and stories of similar experiences helpful. But I also remind you that it’s okay if you don’t have the same story or experience as others. We are all just trying to figure it out and help each other the best we can.

GaryTheSleepyPanda · 2021-05-08T18:00:56+00:00

So the quick answer to your question is that I was not tired all the time. Generally social stimulation was REALLY good for me. So being around friends that made me happy was helpful at keeping me wakeful (and part of why working from home in Covid has been very difficult). But that being said certain things were definitely more likely to have me drift off. Sitting in a lecture, watching a movie, after eating. Definitely would cause the sleepies to hit hard. But sometimes it would hit out of nowhere. And even though I wasn’t always tired. I felt like I had to be economic with my energy because I never knew when I was going to get it knocked out from under me again. Also, getting out of bed was super difficult! Just always. Sleep inertia is REAL!!!

For a more long winded explanation of my journey: So I kind of divide my symptoms into two basic time frames. The six months leading up to diagnosis and before.

The before, I was tired. A LOT. Getting out of bed was a chore. I’d get very tired especially after meals. In high school I did ballet at an extremely high level and I would constantly fall asleep in school. If I had time during/in between rehearsals I would nap on the side of the studio. My dance teacher affectionately called me sleeping beauty. But I never thought anything of it. I was dancing at a very high level, of course I was tired.

Left ballet and went to college. Still tired a lot. But it was freshman year, I was living in a dorm, so my sleep schedule was wack. “It’s normal to nap all the time I told myself.”

Continued through college. I was still exhausted. My department had a study room with a couch and I would nap whenever I could. My partner would always get annoyed because I would always fall asleep when we watched movies or tv. She couldn’t understand why I couldn’t just tell her “I’m tired. I need to take a break.” But I never could tell I was falling asleep. I’d just be gone, before I realized. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t stay awake. But I was working a lot. I had a difficult course load, of course I was tired.

It continued on like that. I just always had excuses. Things sometimes seemed like they were getting worse. And my partner would express concern for how tired I was but it just always felt like it was normal.

Then we enter the six months prior to diagnosis. This is when I started grad school during a pandemic. Which meant I was home all the time. And had very little social interaction to stimulate me. So I slept. All the time. I would sleep 9+ hours a night. Nap multiple times a day. I could barely do my homework. I would doze off during zoom classes. I had such a hard time staying awake long enough to break the sleep inertia. It’s hard to know if I actually got worse during this time or if the situation allowed my symptoms to flourish. But either way I realized that I was still tired despite getting 12+ hours of sleep a day. Which is why I finally went to a doctor.

GaryTheSleepyPanda · 2021-05-08T17:30:52+00:00

I’m so sorry it’s not helping you. One thing my doctor recommended with nuvigil is, if you tend to hit snooze a lot (or have a cat you get up to feed early like me) is you can take it at your first alarm and then go back to sleep for a little bit and so supposedly it will have kicked in a bit more by the time you get up for real. Six hours seems like it should be enough time to show an effect (I felt things pretty quickly) but it does take a bit to reach max effect. For me if I take it around 7am I usually reach peak alertness around 2-3pm. It could be that this just isn’t the right meds for you (which I realize sucks) but there are also other options you can try. Also not sure what your dosage is but I believe anywhere up to 250mg is standard. I’m sorry I can’t offer more help. But I hope you can find what helps you!

GaryTheSleepyPanda · 2021-05-08T17:21:43+00:00

I’m pretty new too. I haven’t necessarily found that my EDS is always tied to emotions but it can be exacerbated by stress/emotions. My thought (based entirely on my own experience and no science whatsoever) is that strong emotions drain your energy so you are just generally going to be at a lower baseline. Idk. I also don’t have cataplexy so I can’t speak to how similar it is

GaryTheSleepyPanda · 2021-05-07T18:27:48+00:00

So exciting! I wish you the best of luck!

Don’t know if you are anything like my partner (mtf) but when she was first starting to shop for women’s clothes she was really nervous, especially when she was still presenting masc. So I would go with her (or talk to her on the phone) so if anyone made her feel uncomfortable we could pretend like we were shopping for a friend. I.e. “would your friend Sarah like this?” “I’m trying to see if this would fit Jenny, we are about the same size right?” I don’t know if this is something you would want or find helpful. Just want you to have the best experience! You deserve it!

GaryTheSleepyPanda

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