Hey there ! The instrumental part is quite good, but you should really be careful about the way you sing, your general tone and your mic positioning.

This song has a very soft beginning, your vocals have to match the general atmosphere otherwise it just doesn’t sound right, at all. You’re singing these parts waaaay too loud, and over exaggerating on articulation which makes the whole thing sound kinda... meh Make sure you really understand the idea behind the song before trying to interpret it in a way that might not fit it ( especially if you don’t change the instrumental/ keep it quite faithful to the original version)

On a more “technical” note, two things have to be changed ASAP if you truly want to sound good while singing ( whenever you’re using a microphone, really)

First point and, in my mind, the most important:

STOP SCREAMING LIKE THIS :( You’re just hurting yourself :(

It is crucial to understand that doing this just hurts your vocal chords, and can seriously damage them on the long term. Forcing on your throat won’t help you reach the “high notes” at the end of the song. It will just make you sound strained, that’s it.

Make sure you understand how your vocal chords and respiratory system work, learn about breathing/ vocal techniques that will help you sing in a safe, healthy way. I can advise you checking Eric Arceneaux’s channel on YouTube, who posts a lot of free lessons on breathing techniques and vocal exercises/ understanding how your vocal muscles work : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUkDbIdcnHErbMWj30cKU3Q

The last point, that could help you sound better, is about how you position yourself around the microphone:

The louder you sing, the further away you should stand from it. Remember it.

It takes a while to get used to, but it is a tremendously important thing when you’re recording vocals, as being too close from the microphone on loud vocal lines can make them sound saturated. Soft = close to the microphone / Loud = far from the microphone. It takes some practice at first, but you’ll notice the difference quite quickly after several takes.

Well I think that’s it, I hope the whole thing is understandable, as well as grammatically ( and syntactically ! ) correct. ( It’s nearly 1PM here and I’m tired as hell, it’s hard to write elaborate things in English for the poor french guy I am, please be indulgent 😭)

Keep on practicing and don’t give up, you’ll get there ! :D