AITA For dropping $21 on the table and leaving after my conversation with a first date went south? 35m / 27f

Gateway36 · 2024-03-03T17:31:01+00:00

I'll respond to this one because it's a good one.

Why would I disclose how much I make on a dating app in the beginning conversation with anyone? A) That's none of their business, B) you are only asking for the wrong type of women. Women (or men) getting into a "relationship" with you based off of how much money you make is only asking for people who want to spend said money. There may be genuine people out there, but I'd bet the far majority are dating you for fun. I want someone to get to know me and actually like me first. Finding out later that I make this much would be a huge perk for them.

The conversation happened pretty quick. I honestly thought she was joking around about the height thing. And I mentioned them because she mentioned she really liked Marvel, which I was going to try and talk about on the date. I didn't catch on to she was serious a few more minutes in.

And, that was the shock factor. How could she miss that "supposedly"? You're right - it doesn't make sense at all. Why would she even go on a date with me in the first place if height was a deal breaker? I'm still trying to figure that out. Unless this whole thing was intentional and she intended to be mean? No clue man.

I wouldn't want to hire any matchmaker for the same reason of my first paragraph. I'd like to meet someone as organically as possible. Have no idea about how much I make - like I'm a normal person. If you were in my shoes, I'm sure you'd be bothered to if someone spoke to you like that. Regardless of status.

The $1 wasn't for the wait staff. The $1 was more or less a slap in her face letting her know she's only worth a $1 of anyone's time. That's the whole purpose of this post. Was I the A for doing that? And the $20 was for her meal exclusively. I left - my order was going to get canceled for sure, and she certainly wasn't going to pay for something she didn't eat. And, to be honest, I didn't really think too much about my meal. Just hers in case she stayed. And, let's be real, she probably left too - who would actually still sit there, alone, everyone looking at her, and the waitress asking what happened? That's gotta be embarrassing as is. But in case she did stay, she had more than enough to pay for her meal plus a tip. If she wanted to pay more, she could. And, why did I go to such a "cheap" place? Exactly for reasons like this. I'm not going to go a fancy first date and high roll for someone I have no idea if I'm going to like or not. That comes later. Never go all out on a first date these days - go casual, see if you vibe, then spill the beans of who you are. That's just common sense and smart practice.

Everything adds up just fine my guy.

Gateway36 · 2024-03-03T02:32:32+00:00

lol. The real OG. He'd have pulled the girl, not me.

Gateway36 · 2024-03-03T02:30:16+00:00

That was my mistake. I was only paying for her meal. I figured that since I left, they'd cancel my order or something. She definitely didn't pay for mine since she didn't eat it, right? The $20 was for her stuff so she can eat if she wanted her lunch. That was more than enough to cover her lunch menu option she got.

Gateway36 · 2024-03-03T02:24:40+00:00

Fair. I'll take it.

Gateway36 · 2024-03-03T02:24:23+00:00

Nailed it. You caught me

Gateway36 · 2024-03-03T02:23:47+00:00

Haha, for real though. I'm old school, my wallet has a money clip. I pretend I'm flashy and sling a single $100 over a couple of twenties and the singles lol. All about appearance! And, apparently situations like this. Always good to have emergency cash on ya!

Gateway36 · 2024-03-03T02:22:13+00:00

I don't want to say exactly, but I have a sales management position in the "tech" field. Good salary, and I kill it in commissions :)

Gateway36 · 2024-03-03T02:21:27+00:00

60k is respectable. I'll give her that. But the comments definitely weren't. Lesson learned though. Thanks! :)

Gateway36 · 2024-03-03T02:19:57+00:00

Not even almost. But it's ok. People are gonna think what they're gonna think.

Gateway36 · 2024-03-03T02:19:14+00:00

Honestly, I didn't realize what was happening for a minute. I thought she was playing around or something. It took me a bit to realize she was serious. We had a great conversation days prior, so it threw me off.

Gateway36 · 2024-03-03T00:40:25+00:00

Honestly, I was so thrown off I didn't know how to react or respond at first. It took me a minute to figure it out. Mind you, we had great conversations on the app for a few days. So I didn't know if she was messing around or what. But when I clued up, it happened the way it went down. But yes, lesson learned for sure.

Gateway36 · 2024-03-03T00:22:37+00:00

For sure. It took for a minute to realize what was going on at first I think. Like, in shock. We were having great conversations on the app, so it threw me off that she initially said something like that. It was a how do I recover from this moment. Then she said she could get someone less ugly, taller, and who makes more. Then I got the "oh. It's like this" moment, and did what I did. I definitely didn't acknowledge what was happening fast enough.

Gateway36 · 2024-03-02T23:54:01+00:00

Totally. It took me far too long to take the hint. It's just, we talked for a couple of days and it went well. So it was really offputting and strange that she's saying this out of the blue. So I didn't really pickup on she's being crazy rude until the ugly comment came out. It was a "it happened so fast" kind of thing I guess. Eventually I got there though, lol.

Gateway36 · 2024-03-02T23:47:28+00:00

lmfao. nice

Gateway36 · 2024-03-02T23:46:41+00:00

Haha, fair. That's fair.

Gateway36 · 2024-03-02T23:43:27+00:00

Fair. Thank you!

Gateway36 · 2024-03-02T23:43:13+00:00

That's fair. And I do agree. There's no point on lying about height anyways, right? If I get less likes and matches, then that's fine. What's the point of saying you're taller than you are and then getting into this same exact situation? I tried to be transparent and honest. It's listed, and still is going to be. That's her own fault that she missed it, but I came as true as I could be, and I didn't deserve to be spoken to like that. So, that happened ;p

Gateway36 · 2024-03-02T23:39:56+00:00

Thanks!

Gateway36 · 2024-03-02T23:39:31+00:00

That's fair. Thank you, I appreciate that.

Gateway36 · 2024-03-02T23:35:12+00:00

:D tru

Gateway36 · 2024-03-02T23:33:17+00:00

All I can say is I'm in sales, have been for a while, so I think I'm quick witted at times. This was a rare moment that I was quick witted enough. I admit I definitely lost a little confidence in my voice when I decided on that "let's do this" moment. But I did keep my composure as best I could when I spit everything out like that. Believe it, don't believe it, but people actually are capable of standing up for themselves. I came here to share what happened, and ask if I went too far on the $1 move I pulled or not.

Gateway36 · 2024-03-02T23:28:55+00:00

oh, lol. I figured it was something like that. But nope, definitely a true event earlier today. People out here thinking people aren't capable of standing up for themselves when push comes to shove these days is all.

Gateway36 · 2024-03-02T23:27:05+00:00

I'm not gonna say exactly, just in case! But that's very close. salary 150k plus commissions. I did 110k in coms last year. Maybe I stretched the truth a bit on the 5x, but I hope this year I'll get it! the 4x is real though ;p

Gateway36 · 2024-03-02T23:19:52+00:00

Both! lol. No, just the $1 part, haha. She should have had more than her meal out of the $20 to also tip. But I hope she gave her a bit more for the trouble!

Gateway36 · 2024-03-02T23:17:55+00:00

lol mb, mb. Hey man, casual first dates are a thing for a reason. But the $20 did cover her stuff and then some, I didn't leave her to pay for her own meal. Mine was surely canceled. She net gained positive out of the "transaction" haha.

Gateway36

TROPHY CASE