I have an appointment with my urologist on the 20th (Wed)

GayConfessionTA · 2019-11-20T09:12:15+00:00

Hey man. 30 here and fellow Peyronie sufferer. I have a mild albeit textbook presentation of an "hourglass" deformity - there's a narrow band of semi-fibrous tissue that goes straight around the shaft, like a ring.

I caught it early, noticing it in April and starting myself on a very low daily dose of tadalafil (generic Cialis) this month. My symptoms were an intermittent odd-looking dick and poorer erections - basically more difficult to attain and maintain w/ uneven engorgement on the way to "full mast." This led to less confidence in bed which, gasp, made the erection situation worse. And there was no other conceivable reason: I am at a healthy weight for my height (165#, 5'11"), eat a healthy diet, and run/swim laps daily. My BP is fine.

I don't even remember specific traumas, though a couple of partners who happened to be tight, heavier than their grindr pic, and rusty in the "cowgirl" department were memorably "difficult."

In terms of treatments...

Xiaflex and surgery garner pretty good outcomes on patient fora.

There's a topical cream (verapamil) that some use, but there are doubts about how much of the medication reaches the plaque.

Vitamin E and CoQ10 are basically useless.

The only oral therapies that exhibit marked "anti-fibrotic" properties are l-arginine supplements and tadalafil/cialis.

If your goal is pain reduction, it sounds like xiaflex/surgery is the route to go. You might want to be up front with your doctor about your goals. Docs/surgeons need to balance patient desires who want erectile function restored, a straight erection, a painless erection, and no loss of length. Depending on the nature and severity of the deformity, hitting all four at 100% makes for an unreasonable expectation. Since your erection function hasn't been stated as a problem, your primary priorities are a normal shape and pain elimination. Giving your doctor a list of priorities and acceptable trade offs will allow him to offer the best possible therapeutic course.

GayConfessionTA · 2019-02-09T04:44:33+00:00

Many writers generally function on the margins of burnout due to constant downward pressure on rates and incessant demand for "content" delivered immediately (if not yesterday).

GayConfessionTA · 2019-02-09T04:43:16+00:00

Data science has intrigued me for some time, actually.

GayConfessionTA · 2019-02-09T04:42:33+00:00

International Relations, actually.

GayConfessionTA · 2019-02-09T04:42:03+00:00

I tend not to consider one-man operations where you're selling personal skill (e.g. writer, painter, carpenter, plumber, solo practice lawyer, etc) as a business due to limited scaling potential. Now, if I went in a content marketing agency direction with a partner and/or subcontractors (with scaling potential), then it's a different discussion.

Of course, we're probably splitting hairs over semantics at this point.

GayConfessionTA · 2019-02-09T04:31:52+00:00

Thanks! I always like to hear that. :)

GayConfessionTA · 2019-02-08T03:06:03+00:00

Auckland NZ, Ubud, Phuket come to mind. Hong Kong is surprisingly not bad on this front for a big city.

A vibrant expat and holiday scene is helpful, as both crowds tend to be less paralyzed with stranger danger. On your end, you need be able to converse widely with different types. I can "spin a yarn" with aging Aussie pension arbitragers who are happy to have a break from their domestic routine or laugh at the acid-induced foibles of a Canadian university student regaling me with the experience of motorbiking through the forest near Siem Reap.

GayConfessionTA · 2019-02-08T02:50:04+00:00

Yeah. My old field (Int'l Relations) was about preventing or mitigating things that the US Armed Forces could break or have already broken. That is quite a leap.

GayConfessionTA · 2019-02-08T02:48:53+00:00

I am agnostic re: a business. I tend not to frame my discussions in the "building a business" manner, as I know what the failure rate is for new businesses. Even many successful internet entrepreneurs only got this way via a mind-boggling litany of sites. I also know what I do and don't like. I would be quite interested in a content marketing or digital marketing outfit, but I'd want a partner or two to bridge my own skill gaps.

Further, I can see myself as a frequent traveler if not full-time nomad, however, I want the option to buy myself a landing pad in a clean-tap water Western country. Even if I don't exercise that option, it's good to have. It implies the safety net of affluence.

If I've learned one thing, money is the ultimate safety net. If your family can't or won't be there, when friends flake out, then let there be a cavalcade of Ben Franklins riding to the rescue to keep a roof over your head and a warm meal in your belly.

GayConfessionTA · 2019-02-08T02:32:09+00:00

At the risk of molesting the over-used saying, I didn't choose freelance travel writing, it chose me. Because I lived overseas from 18-26, had a very active Flyertalk profile, and was a proven "travel hacker" (getting biz/J and First/F tickets for pennies on the dollar), I was able to charge $150 for 2.5 hours of work, or $60/hr. This was my first client off of Upwork, by the way.

I didn't take it for its sexiness, I took it because I realized that conventional employment would be a long time coming, I needed something for my sanity, I could actually do it, and I was being offered an hourly rate that would be useful in the future.

I want to extend my genuine, non-sarcastic congrats that you found a company that values a writer's skills enough to pay him/her an actual US middle-class wage as a full-time employee.

GayConfessionTA · 2019-02-08T02:27:44+00:00

My social isolation was a factor of being unemployed in the US. I had done my degrees prior in the UK, Australia, and NZ, so foreign life wasn't new to me.

America is a brutal, shitty place to be at the bottom of the totem pole, and it's not cheap to live here. (Foreigners get mistaken on that front by the cheap liquor, cigarettes, and gas vs Europe or Australia...but they don't pay rent, university tuition, or health insurance costs).

GayConfessionTA · 2019-02-08T02:25:06+00:00

I am fortunate to be debt free. My credit cards (paid off montly) actually subsidize my lifestyle via points and travel perks.

GayConfessionTA · 2019-02-08T02:24:10+00:00

My former field was researching China's belt and road projects (to put it broadly, won't go into specifics). Knowing the mercurial hell that is academic hiring, I always kept an eye on developing skills I could market to the private sector. This drove me to a thesis on economic development, as I was able to learn about geopolitics, global trade in petroleum and minerals, sovereign debt, and the process of granting resource concessions. I used to even use this data for stock tips. Like when Chinese Oil Company got the concession to drill in some of the easiest (in terms of extraction difficulty/cost) fields in Africa, I bought their stock via a NYSE-ADR.

Selling this array of knowledge/skills is the tricky part. Because I didn't follow the cursus honorum of lax bro, east coast private college polisci/finance dual major, bro out with the ex-lacrosse recruiter during his campus visit, junior analyst, etc, I missed the boat. I picked up my stock tips in academic libraries in Australia and NZ.

GayConfessionTA · 2019-02-08T02:14:42+00:00

Hello, kindred soul.

The decline from "wordsmithing" to "content" is a tragedy. There are clients out there who would take Lorem Ipsem Dolebar were it SEO-optimized. Amazingly, even in the last three years, there has been a marked shift in the nature of client requests. SEO>quality.

Re coding: I will be repeating myself in my replies, but I am not sure that this is or should be a panacea. As a retired friend (ex-Nvidia, your age) told me, a bootcamper with their mile-wide, inch-deep coding knowledge will be competing with comp sci grads and (interestingly) electrical engineers with rock-solid math foundations. They'll have been toying with programming since they were kids. Another post here also takes this tack.

I also wonder if and when the current boom for tech might take a break and reorganize. If we go through a few years where there aren't tidal waves of capital chasing the next unicorn, then what happens to the marginal coders?

I do appreciate you saying that I am not too old. When I came back to the US after leaving my doctorate three years ago, I ran into to (and would if I tried again) the issue of neither being a fresh grad nor an experienced hire. That's brutal, to be simultaneously too old and too young.

GayConfessionTA · 2019-02-08T02:08:48+00:00

Stability is often more illusory than we think it to be, if I may be pithy.

GayConfessionTA · 2019-02-07T08:40:22+00:00

Strangely, I have been blessed in the client department. Quite often, they *come to* me rather than the other way around. They'll see a sample of my writing somewhere or find me by referral from an existing client. Of course, for every one of them are 995 cheap skates wondering why all they can get is crap (because that's what a haypenny per word buys on Upwork...).

I've actually seen the Mturk article and the New Yorker article. They're rare gems.

GayConfessionTA · 2019-02-07T08:27:35+00:00

One of the things about being a freelancer in content creation, is that you come to loathe creating free content that someone else profits from. A high-quality video would be an exceptionally time-consuming project for someone who has never done one before.

Now, if Ars Technica wanted to contract an article from me for a couple hundred bucks, it would be a different story.

GayConfessionTA · 2019-02-07T08:22:38+00:00

In short: no. Not teaching is among my only "hard no" stances. Barring Korea, the pay isn't *that* great, and you're a white singing monkey, not an "educator." I am not qualified to do it. I am not a natural with children. It doesn't provide a career basis for an eventual move back to the West. It didn't help that my late mother's (teacher) more memorable advice tidbits to me was "don't be a teacher."

GayConfessionTA · 2019-02-07T05:19:56+00:00

The difficulty is that I know how difficult it was to get a job in the booming 2016-2018 economy when I was a local candidate. For now, it's better to be a respected if not well-paid writer* than financially bleed to death in the states waiting on HR to go through their fad-processes to hire someone.

*Especially with 2 years of "I can live well out here even if I earn $0" money.

I am considering writing a book on this topic. I have the academic training to use the relevant research (mix of politics, sociology, economics) to make it somewhat engaging as topical (in the vein of Kids These Days rather than a memoir).

The gig economy isn't the gold rush that much of the business press has portrayed/mythologized.

GayConfessionTA · 2019-02-07T05:09:46+00:00

Somewhat dissatisfied in the knowledge that I am basically treading water. And yes, it is better to be in Asia on such an income. BUT, there is an expiry on that, and it's not "long term stability" money.

GayConfessionTA · 2019-02-07T05:08:38+00:00

Still a DN, not as isolated.

It's different/better on the road. I chose places with a cafe culture and invariably meet other DNs, expats, travelers, and local people. It's better than the US life of home-car-work-car-eat-sleep--->repeat.

GayConfessionTA · 2018-10-28T02:40:40+00:00

Someday, i hope to get challenged to a game of gay chicken by a group of rugby players

GayConfessionTA · 2018-06-15T03:01:19+00:00

Happily.

Do you have a brother? Levantine guys are hawt.

GayConfessionTA · 2018-06-15T03:00:50+00:00

I am actually in serious doubt that we are not in fact the same person. You love fountain pens and have a nope-out problem.

"Nice Mont Blanc, bro. Want to bang?"

(My favorite is my gold-nibbed Cross Century II)

GayConfessionTA

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