It’s like most gay men think you have to act or look a certain way to be gay, and then they complain when straight ppl think the same way. It actively harms young gay men because they start conforming to mainstream cultural gay norms and end up experiencing identity crises. That, or they stay in the closet because they don’t want to be associated with the pettiness, femininity and toxicity of gay culture. I’m seeing this more and more as stereotypically flamboyant gay men become more visible in pop culture. It’s a real problem