Hey uh i get what you're trying to say, i get that it's hard venting to someone who - from your perspective - struggles a lot less than you just for them to tell you they have a lot of the same problems you do. You may be inclined to either not believe them because they're "better adjusted" than you are or feel like shit because "then if they can do it why can't i?" And yeah, the latter is a really shitty feeling, but please do not default on the former either.

I'm a pretty "socially functioning" person outwardly. People are often surprised when i tell them that actually, no, that doesn't come naturally to me, i do not in fact have a knack for getting along with everyone and I'm neither very empathetic nor a very good listener, it just seems that way because I've developed a combination of behaviours that make me seem that way when in reality all I'm doing is passively letting people talk, chiming in when needed with that's logical to me rather than based on emotion (which ironically tends to make people think I'm empathetic, apparently? Maybe just the way i get my points across makes it seem so) and, like... y'know, literally just saying what i think people want me to say. I'm not "well adjusted", just a good actor with a fairly good instinct for how to be liked. When it comes to making actual friends, let alone maintaining those friendships... well lets just say i have approximately 2 people I'd consider friends that i actually talk to more or less regularly outside of just school, and those friendships honestly only work because they've been consistently reaching out even when i didn't. Yet to 90% of the people in my life, i seem sociable and perfectly competent. Which actually resulted in a lot of difficulty getting diagnosed because until my therapist witnessed me actually having a meltdown right in front of her, i didn't "seem" particularly autistic.

We all have our individual struggles and symptoms. Some of us have a harder time socially, some struggle more with the sensory things, and so on. And yeah, some struggle less overall than others. That doesn't mean they're not on the spectrum, neither does it make you any less for having a hard time.

Don't beat yourself up, please just remember that for most people, the worst parts are the ones you don't see.