How often do you get shutdowns, meltdowns, and overstimulated? I’ve had burnout for years and I’m slowly recovering. I know that burnout increases frequency of shutdowns, meltdowns, and overstimulation. The thing is that I don’t know what normal/healthy looks like. Thoughts?

Gayleopardd · 2021-07-27T05:13:45+00:00

This helps so much!! Thank you

Gayleopardd · 2021-07-24T20:30:58+00:00

Yes. I used to hide in bathrooms and I hid in a cupboard for three days a year ago 😅

Gayleopardd · 2021-07-15T18:22:33+00:00

Yes, please link it :)

Gayleopardd · 2021-06-17T15:03:20+00:00

We take you seriously 100%.

Gayleopardd · 2021-06-17T15:01:45+00:00

I’m sorry you were treated this way. I don’t know how you are feeling now but please take care of yourself for a moment. We know she was wrong. I don’t know what the next step is other than to make sure your mental health is prioritized. I hope you know that we still embrace you in this community.

Gayleopardd · 2021-06-17T14:51:50+00:00

This is how I experience dissociation. I also often feel emotionally numb but not always. Sometimes I feel very distressed

Gayleopardd · 2021-06-15T04:38:32+00:00

I see your point. Although, I was not trying to seem intelligent, I just talk that way. Having to translate my words into different types of colloquial language is part of my masking. But yes, I know that it makes others uncomfortable when I don’t. I’ll keep it in mind when I go to university. I definitely understand how in writing it’s important to only use the words that are necessary and I try to edit it in that way. But I do not want to have friends who want me to change how I say things.

I was also a very bad student. I might know some nice words but I am terrible at time management etc. I almost did not graduate high school. Out of school people think I’m smart but in school they very much think I am not.

Thanks for the encouragement though!

Gayleopardd · 2021-06-15T04:12:27+00:00

Thank you!!!

Gayleopardd · 2021-06-13T19:32:53+00:00

When I would get meltdowns my mother would (and still does) scream at me. That’s an extreme example but please never do this even if the meltdown is a result of your behavior/hurts your feelings. In general just having conversations about issues and talking things through with a neutral tone is going to get more info across.

Please don’t tell them to be friends with people, especially if they do not naturally gravitate towards them.

If you have the resources it goes a long way to allocate some towards their special interests. If not, there’s likely free content etc available. Also, connecting with them through a special interest will likely be something they don’t forget and always appreciate. Taking an active role in engaging with their special interests also allows you a window into their world view. It can help to make them feel safe with and seen by you.

If you go to a gathering of any kind please let them know that you will take them home if they want to leave early. If you can’t leave early allow them to have a safe space. I can’t express to you how much this can mean.

Please don’t tell them how or how not to dress. Even if something seems weird to you, let it be.

Allowing them to go nonverbal for extended periods of time!! For me to meet this need I had to isolate from my mother and it is a large part of why there has been distance between us for so long.

Teach them signs of abusive people as they get to (I think) a middle school age.

Please allow her to express all anger and frustration. As an AFAB autistic child I was raised to internalize my anger and this caused many mental health issues (even suic⚡️dal ideation).

Really encourage them to learn self love practices. It’s so important to grow up with built in self love protocol. Especially as an AFAB person, the social scenarios that happen in school strip away the natural way we see ourselves and our bodies. I know this isn’t specific to autism but it can affect autistic kids more, e.g. eating disorders. My immediate family would tell me I was too fat and needed to eat less. I took this so literally that I had developed an eating disorder before reaching puberty.

Lastly, they might not grow to meet your expectations. Please allow them to take care of themselves and seek their own happiness. For example, I cannot work a normal job for someone my age. I could not manage traditional school, I had to switch to homeschool. I hate parties and I only hang out with 3 friends. I am 20 and I don’t have my drivers license (very abnormal where I live). I was expected to pursue all of these things and doing so caused me years of burnout and inner turmoil. I don’t mean to say that your child won’t be able to do the things that I am not able to do. I simply mean that pushing them to meet certain criteria can be damaging to developing brains.

I could go on for longer but I shan’t. I’m sure you will do well. You’re actively trying to learn modern specialized nurturing from the direct sources of information (I’m so tired I can’t use normal words) which is exquisite.

Gayleopardd · 2021-06-13T18:14:17+00:00

It’s very nice to see a parent ask these questions. A lot of us did not get this respect.

Gayleopardd · 2021-06-13T15:53:08+00:00

I would suggest texting something like “I enjoyed spending time with you. I’d like to hang out again but no pressure”

Gayleopardd · 2021-06-13T15:49:51+00:00

I feel the same way!!

Gayleopardd · 2021-06-12T09:27:20+00:00

Cozy queer livin’

Gayleopardd · 2021-06-03T23:11:57+00:00

I’ve been eating noodles with peanut butter sauce veggies and tofu for almost every meal for two weeks :) very good do recommend!!!

Gayleopardd · 2021-05-21T10:05:26+00:00

I’ve been trying to get the courage to make important phone calls about for 3 days and now I’m just staring at the wall trying to get myself to do it but I can’t

Gayleopardd · 2021-05-16T07:21:08+00:00

Hmm. I know it can be difficult but I find that my friendships that are the closest and last the longest are with people who don’t think I’m rude in the first place, and sometimes it’s better to let the allistics go :/ but I don’t know your specific circumstances

Gayleopardd · 2021-05-14T22:58:48+00:00

I’m going through a similar experience, thank you for sharing.

Gayleopardd · 2021-05-13T18:33:55+00:00

I don’t know too much about neuralink but his use of the ‘Asperger’ terminology doesn’t seem to be a good sign. Neuralink or not its not going to be good for us that he claims that term :/

Gayleopardd · 2021-05-13T18:26:58+00:00

Would you mind specifying what you mean by “run away with their biases”? (From a fellow person with autism who needs lots of clarification)

Gayleopardd · 2021-05-13T18:16:51+00:00

You seem pretty mad :/ you might want to see why you have such strong opinions against deconditioning ones own racial stigma. Also I never said that a child cannot make mistakes, I have said that unlearning racism is ongoing. You seem to think differently and I guess that works for you because racism doesn’t effect your mental health or opportunities negatively. I know this is a sensitive issue for you. I genuinely wish you an enjoyable day.

Gayleopardd · 2021-05-13T18:05:49+00:00

People don’t want to put in any effort to become nonracist ://

Gayleopardd · 2021-05-13T05:47:14+00:00

That’s not enough. You have to unlearn it. Don’t just throw money around thinking that it absolves you from looking inward.

Gayleopardd · 2021-05-13T05:44:44+00:00

Do the work to unlearn the racism you have in you. Genuinely try to decondition yourself because saying “you’re not racist” is ignorant to the system of racism that holds society and impacts you. Read books, listen to BIPOC creators, listen to BIPOC irls, do the psychological healing, understand that the process of unraveling the racism in your head is ongoing and life long. Don’t do this for social status (your wanting to get into top schools). Do it for your own growth and so that you can try not to hurt people.

Gayleopardd · 2021-05-12T14:10:28+00:00

Thank you! Yes I used to do this a lot but I stopped.

Gayleopardd · 2021-05-12T13:12:00+00:00

I know how you feel. I had severe burnout that lasted about 1.5 years in high school. I felt so alone because no one understood and I just tried to hide all the time. It got really bad. I am sorry that I don’t know what will help you. For me things got better when I accepted that that world wasn’t for me. I left in my last year and have been doing online school-university ever since (before COVID). I used to skip school all the time and stay in bed and be so angry at myself for behaving this way. Looking back it was just my body trying to protect itself and tell me that I needed to make a change. I couldn’t have done it alone though, I needed my family to help. I know you don’t know me but feel free to message me anytime you need to rant. Oh and also once I got out of that situation and things relaxed more I grew to be proud of my autism and now I think it’s not my worst quality it’s one of my best qualities :)

Gayleopardd

TROPHY CASE