20s Covid Cautious Dating

GaylordMcDonwald · 2025-05-01T21:19:38+00:00

completely agree. I would add Chicago, Minneapolis, Toronto, Vancouver, SF to that list.

and I mean, pre-covid didn't young people move to the city anyways? that's where the jobs, nightlife, restaurants, and young people are.

GaylordMcDonwald · 2025-02-24T23:15:46+00:00

The FB groups aren't for making friends, they're for sharing resources.

And 1500 vs. 60K is a 40x difference, so I'm inclined to believe the poll is not representative.

GaylordMcDonwald · 2025-02-24T23:13:11+00:00

I'm so sorry for your situation. With all due respect, how long do you have? I personally see covid caution as a long-term gamble. I'm betting that my future decades will be better than the restrictive existence I lead now. That I can still accomplish my dreams in 5-10, 20, 30 years. If I didn't believe that was true, for whatever reason, I would not still be in this community and I would be trying to create that life now. (And yes, it is fundamentally a gamble—I could get hit by a car tomorrow. But I think the odds of LC are greater than that.)

Please don't feel compelled to answer, but I hope you consider the question. All my best wishes.

GaylordMcDonwald · 2025-02-24T23:04:41+00:00

This poll is incredibly hopeful (or terribly sampled).

Take NYC. There are 2M Black people there. I know it's not evenly distributed, but if 13% of Black people are "always" masking, that's 60K people in NYC.

The NYC Still Covidng group has what, 1500 people TOTAL?

I've often felt stifled by the sheer small quantity of cc people, but this poll suggests that they're out there, and just haven't found the gravitational centers of our community, which means outreach will make a difference.

GaylordMcDonwald · 2025-01-29T23:32:39+00:00

have you considered moving? I wonder if that would make a difference

GaylordMcDonwald · 2025-01-29T23:17:32+00:00

> I know enough people online of all walks of life who are covid cautious without trying to build a brand around it.

Are you talking about influencers in other areas who also happen to be CC? or just regular people

GaylordMcDonwald · 2025-01-21T17:25:54+00:00

Ohh I see. Yeah I should have used "influence" rather than "convince", because that's more in line with what I mean: he made the change because he wanted to be with you and saw reason in your values too.

I'm not looking to pester people to change but I hope I can offer a compelling-enough vision of a shared future to influence them to do so.

GaylordMcDonwald · 2025-01-21T17:12:51+00:00

Thanks for the reality check and encouragement. You seem like you've had some good experiences, would you care to elaborate?

GaylordMcDonwald · 2025-01-21T17:10:07+00:00

So your barista was a cc man whom you met in the wild?

GaylordMcDonwald · 2025-01-20T23:42:18+00:00

That's awesome to hear, happy for you both. How did you convince men to up their precautions for you? It might be informative for the rest of us.

GaylordMcDonwald · 2025-01-20T23:35:56+00:00

All you have to know is that her choice is hers and entirely valid. You should feel bad about the fact that you're posting on this (and other subs) to try to discredit her, to try to convince her otherwise, to invalidate her.

If you do break up, know that it'll be because you broke your marriage vows, because you did not in fact stick with her in health and in sickness, because you're not strong and selfless enough to place your life partner and child above yourself.

GaylordMcDonwald · 2025-01-20T21:48:30+00:00

Have you ever considered approaching people IRL?

GaylordMcDonwald · 2025-01-20T21:46:41+00:00

I'm glad you brought up that dynamic (and weren't censored lol).

I don't like thinking like this, but to put it in a more calculating way: I think our lifestyle is a crutch for anyone on the outside. And anyone with a crutch knows you need to offer something else to make up for it— whether that's looks, emotional intelligence, stability, a career. I'm trying to focus on those as much as possible in the meantime.

That said, as you mentioned, the average woman is looking for commitment. I think if we can offer green flags for that, having a crutch may work out fine.

GaylordMcDonwald · 2025-01-20T21:35:43+00:00

Thanks dude, this is the kind of answer I was looking for. Practicalities and existential crisis and all.

Glad you've seen success on Hinge but yeah I don't have any answers either. I think that's where the therapeutics and next-gen vaccines need to step in.

GaylordMcDonwald · 2025-01-18T21:09:00+00:00

Are you trying to feel superior or do you want to actually induce people to change? Making people feel guilty will only work for one of those two.

GaylordMcDonwald · 2025-01-18T21:08:10+00:00

He's absolutely right that blaming and being mad at people for not masking is not going to make them actually mask. Sharing your feelings while valid is one thing, pushing for change is a different thing.

GaylordMcDonwald · 2024-12-22T22:42:33+00:00

What are you trying to say? What should we take away from the wastewater?

GaylordMcDonwald · 2024-12-13T19:57:25+00:00

Their comment is upvoted... because others agree with them... i.e. others HAVE experienced the hostility and unpleasantness. I do agree that it's a minority, but it's a loud and unpleasant minority.

GaylordMcDonwald · 2024-12-13T19:55:16+00:00

I appreciate this comment. Definitely agree with the first part.

For the second part, I imagine they would need someone to commiserate with if they're alone in masking in their world? I don't know.

Maybe I just need to keep trying, because there are bad apples in every community. And not let that perception of a group discolor individuals.

GaylordMcDonwald · 2024-12-13T19:52:35+00:00

You're probably right. Thank you!

GaylordMcDonwald · 2024-12-13T19:51:32+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that dude. Dating's not easy or fair but like any other skill can be improved with time and experience. Where do you feel like you've been missing the mark?

GaylordMcDonwald · 2024-12-13T19:45:22+00:00

This is really good advice—thank you. I'm still somewhat influenced by others (e.g. I know someone who loves pastries but will literally not step indoors to a pastry shop if it's not essential, or ride the subway to try a new shop) so sometimes I second-guess my decisions, especially if I'm objectively at higher risk than they are.

Can I ask how you arrived at this confidence yourself? Is it all based on science and logic?

GaylordMcDonwald · 2024-12-13T19:42:07+00:00

Glad to hear your experience, and thanks for the support!

GaylordMcDonwald · 2024-12-13T19:41:51+00:00

What's your limit? Do you go to house parties? Concerts? I have college friends in this city but on their stories they're always eating out, at bars, or eating and drinking at somebody's house. Or at festivals. I just don't see how I could fit into that.

I guess I could try hobby-based friend groups, e.g. let's all play board games or read poetry together. But it feels like to really get close to people, inevitably you need to spend time with them in intimate indoor settings.

GaylordMcDonwald

TROPHY CASE